i need an editor

Begin with a quote that I can use to talk within. Something biblical because that brings up all sorts of defenses and that’s what I really want to do is rile people’s defenses, get ‘em out in the open so people can become aware of what they’re sensitive about.

“Unless a grain of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone. But if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit.” John 12:24

I’m just going to go ahead and tell you strait up I lifted that quote from another book. It’s not even mine. And I thought about whether I should do it this way or not, I thought about it for a good long while, and I decided that it’s a good quote and it’s a good way to do it even if someone else found it first, even opened their book with it, then it must be a really good way to start. It’s not like Dostoevsky wrote it either, I bet he ripped it off someone too, his favorite author or someone like that, and that person probably ripped it off someone else who was before either of them, or me, and then maybe that guy actually read it in the Bible himself and just maybe, theoretically, the guy a few guys before the first guy that copied down the Bible from oral storytellers, maybe that guy knows the person who really wrote it, but what does that mean, I mean really? The person who “wrote it” probably never wrote it he told it and then other people told it and then maybe those people are the one’s that actually wrote it down when they realized how much power comes to be conductible once you write down the revelation of God’s wisdom. So who really gets credit for conceiving that chunk of wisdom first? Is it the corn? The soil? The sun or maybe the water? Perhaps it’s the designer of the whole system? Is there an overarching designer or did the corn and the soil and the sun and the water all come to an agreement to help each other out on their own? Is their compatibility just a fluke? I suppose from a human standpoint it must be the person who saw the cycle in conjunction with all the parts that opened his mind up just right for just a moment for the common sense of the whole thing to slip in and BAM! Human awareness of wisdom is born. But I guess the next question is that if one person can simply observe nature and piece it together on their own, what’s to say someone else watching the same cycle in conjunction with all it’s parts has the same moment of revelation? Then who gets the credit for original ownership? Who gets to copyright it first? Whose got the patent on truth? Is the author the mind that was in control of the actual head that held the headspace that had the actual subjective center point where the moral about corn and death first popped through the invisible world of nothingness to linear sequential awareness, is that who gets credit for it? Well alright, if you say so, but what really interests me isn’t the author, it’s the sequential, linear, natural cyclical observation by the speaker that life cannot come but from death. This, is a corn stalk of wisdom, and I don’t know where it came from, but I know how easy it can be misunderstood, especially coming down through all those mind’s ripping it off each other. What’s the important part? Where does the wisdom lie? Same dimension as the corn, or in the dimension of my mind, or your mind, or our minds put together? Is it sticky in there?

1. establish the lens, the way the world looks through the speaker’s eyes. How do things relate to other things? What are my knee jerk responses?

Well I constantly want to keep getting things set up and situated. I guess my writer’s block is a little different than what I think about when I think about traditional writer’s block. My block is the pace of my ego, literally, because I am always going through the thought and never basting in it. This is the franticness of the beginning of the book having just got out of school.

In the back corner of a dark room during a lost moment in my life I finally found the resolve to forget everything I thought I knew up to that point and simply begin again. This didn’t seem like it would be too hard given the state I was in. One must be careful, life has a way of taking everything you worked so hard to believe in and wiping your ass with it. Where does this fear come in? Is it doubt? No no, it’s just everything I thought I knew before, until now. I feel like it’s doubt, I don’t doubt it in fact. It’s doubt. It’s doubt in me, it’s fear of losing the comfortable. It’s a lot of things. It’s fear that makes me put the beginning off just slightly to the next moment, just slightly out of now and before then but not undone, it is here and I am here with it, just about. I’m just about ready to really be here with it in the Now. Just about.

I guess I should have stopped and dealt with it the first time I felt warm water on my feet. It was pouring out from behind the gas pedals in my dirty gray packed to the brim A4. Packed with everything I couldn’t sell or give away from my apartment, but I was in no state of mind to be that reasonable. As if a three day music festival weren’t enough to leave me scrambled eggs in the front seat, my state of mind was incapacitated to say the least. Not really in the red, but not really with it enough to keep anything revved. Spun would be the word. Anxious, excited, fried, hopefully confused and a wee bit stoned, all those whirled together might do a little better job rounding me off.

This book is dedicated to my self. Not my self like myself myself, but my Self, which is perhaps better pointed to as The Self, our Self, the one Self. This may sound funny to you but it’s about you and you’re in it too I guarantee it. Accept and learn or deny and be a lesson for somebody else.

Has anyone else noticed a disturbing complacency in the minds of most people these days? Doesn’t it feel like, if this were some other time in history, the 60’s even, people would be up in arms and people would be disagreeing and they would be voicing it and it would make sense.
So I think I’ve tracked it down to people’s attention spans. Let’s begin by wondering, what exactly is “an attention span?” Now this may seem silly to break it down like this but it’s just plan psychological programming to pretend you are better than this question in some way. Better than any question for that matter. For those especially proud of their belief systems and those who champion their own set of lenses over all the other sets the world hands down, you especially should have no problem genuinely asking every conceivable question known to man, right? And every conceivable question cannot be measured, but it can be theoretically described. Where do those questions become conceived, or do they conceive themselves in some sort of strange, asexual phenomena of the mental states where questions literally conceive themselves? What is the creative process?
On some level I may be willing to entertain that question as truth since there is only one Self, but for the most part, for the day-to-day linear mental operations, questions seems to birth themselves spontaneously through the cracks of our beliefs about ideas that we already have in the makeup of our self before the new question, the threatening impending question arises to be noticed for a moment by the mind, and then sorted into the floating catalogs of the psychological salmon that we are.
Let’s take a few examples to work these abstractions out. The fundamental Christian, the fundamental Muslim, and the fundamental atheist. What’s the difference between these three?

I guess I am going to have to establish a lens through which the rest of the book can be seen.