Cole's High School (of fish)

There are these things, these reoccurring metaphors that really seem to be expressing the point. They come around for a few days at a time, sometimes more and sometimes less. Sometimes they relate to things that swelled up years ago or weeks ago or sometimes, sometimes, to times before I was born. Those are hard to detect of course, but they are detectable nonetheless. My skill at doing so is arbitrary, but I’m getting better. I’m getting better aren’t I?

I met a man named Bill Cornelius tonight and he told me that Jesus was going to come knock on my door. I told him I think he’s already come but he has the same knock as the Buddha and we got into a discussion. He assured me that Jesus said “I am the way, I am the light, I am the truth…” in the scriptures somewhere, and because of that it must mean he is the one, the only one and the only way. I assured him I have profound respect for Jesus, but what about them having the same knocks? It was interesting. I reminded him the I Ching and the Tao are all about the Way too. In fact the Tao translates as the Way, but overlap wasn’t really an option for him, and I guess he made a case for simplicity sake. He seemed very smart, and its true when you cut to the chase of it Jesus really was the man and through him you can attain enlightenment, or live as good as you want to surrender. He is indeed one of the few ways for certain to learn how to unconditionally love…
It was interesting because I talked a lot because I ramble like I do and he was reposed and kept to his point. I wasn’t really pressing him and I didn’t really disagree with anything he ways saying, it was just within a limited context. Hmm, I guess that’s what it is, the part people don’t see without the book, which is just the limited context of any given situation. That’s not too big of a problem though because we can know without knowing all the reasons why.
It was as if I’ve been exposed to too many paths, and the arbitrariness of two Only paths existing stumbles me, though I know it shouldn’t


Wisdom
1. Stare it in the face.
2. It comes out just a little bit at a time but its intense.

Been on the road till tomorrow
Been through the joy and the sorrow
Been through the mud, steered through the flood
But I still got a long way to go…

+

A Better Man
Sam Bush

Sitting here in my problems
What am I gonna do now?
Am I gonna make it
Some way some how?
Well maybe im not supposed to know
Maybe I’m supposed to cry
And if nobody ever knows the way I feel
That’ll be alright, that’ll be ok
Cause I’m gonna make this world a better place
I’m keep that smile on my face
I’m gonna teach my self how to understand
Gonna make myself a better man.

Lighting out my window
Climbing up the walls
Is anybody gonna save me
Are they gonna let me fall?
I don’t really want to know
I just hold on the best I can
And if I fall down ill just get back up
And it’ll be alright, it’ll be ok.

Cause I’m gonna make this world a better place
I’m keep that smile on my face
I’m gonna teach my self how to understand
Gonna make myself a better man.

+

These are the types of experiences I want to be having. What is it about that really good feeling?

THE IMAGE I HOLD IN MY MIND IS THE IMAGE THROUGH WHICH I ACT. THERE IS NO SUBJECT AND OBJECT SEPERATION. THIS WHOLE WORLD OF FORMS IS LESS THAN REAL. IF EVERYONE BELIEVED THAT THAT WOULD BE BELIEVABLE. IF THE GREEKS HADN’T forced forms then the west wouldn’t be away from the east. Duality is the mythos, the madness of it all. It all comes so nice and slow when its sweet…

It’s just over there, just over that summit, then it’s on your way down for another year. No not down, because you want to go up, so you just know that down is up and roll on with the metaphor.

Its raining and its moist and its great. People are good here, this is a good palace. 06 is a big year to be strong. Stay on the track. Love the way.

+

Crosseyed and Painless
Talking Heads
(cheese covered this last night, how appropriate)

Lost my shape, Tryin' to act casual!
Can't stop, I might end up in the hospital
Changin' my shape, I feel like an accident
They're back! To explain their experience

Isn't it weird, Looks too obscure to me
Wasting away, That was their policy

I'm ready to leave, I push the facts in front of me
Facts lost Ya, facts are never what they seem to be
There's nothing there! No information left of any kind
LLLifting my head L'L'Looking for danger signs

There was a line, There was a formula
Sharp as a knife, Facts cut a hole in us

I'm still waiting I..I..I'm still waiting
I'm still waiting I..I..I'm still waiting
I'm still waiting I..I..I'm still waiting
I'm still waiting I..I..I'm still waiting

The feeling returns, Whenever we close our eyes
Lifting my head looking around inside

The island of doubt, It's like the taste of medicine
Working by hindsight, Got the message from the oxygen
M'M'Making a list, Find the cost of opportunity
Doing it right, Facts are useful in emergencies

The feeling returns Whenever we close out eyes
Lifting my head Looking around inside.

Facts are simple and facts are straight
Facts are lazy and facts are late
Facts all come with points of view
Facts don't do what I want them to
Facts just twist the truth around
Facts are living turned inside out
Facts are getting the best of them
Facts are nothing on the face of things

I'm still waiting I..I..I'm still waiting
I'm still waiting I..I..I'm still waiting
I'm still waiting I..I..I'm still waiting
I'm still waiting I..I..I'm still waiting

this is important

One gets the feeling they should tell someone how weird it’s getting, but when you look around for someone to tell you you realize you’re probably the sanest one here actually...then you chop that notion down right quick because that’s just ignorant talk and you know that and your working through that, no need to beat yourself up about it. So what is it? It’s nothing, exactly, that’s what I thought, just wanted to make sure. I was unsure for a minute but then I remember I already knew it was stupid. But what about the time in Frisco? And what about during the…and under the moon in the Labyrinth?…at the home…that time at the clinic…at the show…the hotel room…when you drove to his grave…when he hugged you…when you felt the beat again and that deep warm bubbling sensation inside and you erupted with the bliss again and the Oz is ever floating and we keep going…we are going…Maybe other people should be coming to you to tell you how weird it’s getting. Oh shit, they’re coming…
The important thing is to never take any one moment too seriously. Meet the moment wherever it is- when it comes- with a smile on your face. Just laugh it off, use your mind’s eye and telescope out with a smile on your face. Use your mind’s eye and telescope in with a smile on your face. Keep a smile on your face and live life like you feel you should and do it with a smile on your face. Don’t get too attached to your Mind’s Eye either, you transcend that too.
What have I dreamed about lately? Hmm let me think. I had a few really bad dreams in Bama and woke up annoyed a few times. That’s no good. I think I’m just adjusting to the beginning of a new life phase, for everyone. It felt good to get that ego silliness out in dreams though now that I look back on it. Maybe this is how the process goes? The process? Haha… silly me I know I know…
…It’s amazing how everything fits together and rolls on like it does in those tubes of connections rolling and rolling on… A few things coming together at once influencing everything on different levels of waves… The Bandwidth Wave: the roots of the wave, the trunk of the wave, the branches of the wave, the leaves of the wave… the Spirit of the wave…Jimmy?... Jimmy?...bonedigger bonedigger run back down the alley way…
What is it to reinvent one’s self? What is it to recreate a foundation of the personality? What is it to transcend? Better yet, what is it like after one has transcended? Who are we talking about here? Did you mean what is it like for you or for me afterwards? How does the freshness register in the perceptions? Where do our Perceptions touch? Do they touch? Do they overlap? Whose been carving all this up with all this nonsense? Who commissioned this render? Whose renders what where?... actually I think I know the answer to that last question…
Then again, if these questions where answerable I should suppose there to be no difference between the actual experience and the description of it. Quite an assumption! Nonsense! This is the rub, the interface paradox I understand but can’t understand, or at least can’t find a way to describe it to myself. How much do I need to worry about this description part anyways? Who taught me to worry like this? Where is this coming from? What can I separate from mere description? Can I separate? Can you separate for me? Please?
Sometimes it seems to be diametrically opposed to the Present moment and I can’t be in the Present and be describing the Present at the same time because that splits it. From what I’ve gathered so far it’s more important to be in the Present than to describe the experience of being in the Present to your inner head, you follow? That would be taking the cause and effect analogy a little too far. It’s a hard line to see, I understand. The easy part that I think you might be missing though is that its not really a line, it’s more like a level, a leap, a gap you hop over and then turn around and see where you were. You’re still thinking A to B to C instead of out of D comes the perception of A to B to C (D of course representing the Pop charts at any given period of time when the particular sample is taken.) It’s spontaneous, it’s non-duality, it is the source of existence, it is creator, it is the creation, it is creating, it is you and I, it is now and it is always and eternal and never will be any more than it is- right now…
I can feel it sometimes when I read things from all over in a short span of time… it all coalesces and I get this nervous-like feeling in my stomach which I could surmount if I wasn’t always caught off guard by it every time. It just comes up you see, and when it does, well that’s the whole thing really, so it’s no use patternizing it to death. There is no separation between the object and the subject. It is the whole thing. It is good, it is Quality, it is a lot easier than you think.

does it work this way too?

Wisdom:
1. Wear soft clothes because girls really like to rub up against soft clothes.
2. How many times a day do you actually look at yourself in the mirror? I mean look right into your own eyes in the mirror?
3. The Afternoon depression sets in.
4. Your psychic girlfriend is real, believe it.
5. Start from the inside and work your way out.
6. Follow the guy in the red shirt.
7. Trust that feeling you get in the back of your neck.
8. Some people are late sometimes, but sometimes it’s because they really take their time.
9. Get healthy.
10. Be Out-front with It.
11. Come to meet everything that you know.
12. If you’re bored, either clean up your room or Create something.
13. Go! Go Johnny Go!
14. That’s what I used to do. That’s what I’m used to doing.

No Compassion
Talking Heads

In a world
where people have problems
In this world
where decisions are a way of life
Other people's problems they overwhelm my mind
They say compassion is a virtue, but I don't have the time

So many people...have their problems
I'm not interested...in their problems
I guess I've...experienced some problems
But now I've...made some decisions
Takes a lot of time to push away the nonsense
Take my compassion...Push it as far as it goes
My interest level's dropping, my interest level is dropping
I've heard all I want to, I don't want to hear any more

What are you, in love with your problems?
I think you take it...a little too far
It's...not so cool to have so many problems
But don't expect me to explain your indecisions
Go...talk to your analyst, isn't that what they're paid for
You walk, you talk...You still function like you used to
It's not a question...Of your personality or style
Be a little more selfish, it might do you some good

In a world where people have problems
In this world where decisions are a way of life
Other people's problems, they overwhelm my mind
They say compassion is a virtue, but I don't have the time
(Here we go again)

you've got to understand

Soulfood Man
Mike Gordon

He's a big Southern guy with a funny smile
And he always seems to know
By looking right in your eye
Where you've come from and where you're going to go

He could race a car, play a guitar,
Or do the voice for a cartoon show
And you can see him on the silver screen
Or standing up, telling a joke about a ball moving slow

But he isn't gonna go to the show
Until he's got a bucket of soulfood food to go
You've got to understand: he's a soulfood man

Well he had figured it out, all about
How to play his guitar so slow
That he could play 'till the end of time
And all you would here him play is one note

But he better not start, 'cause he knows in is his heart
That the sound of the note would grow
And the people would block their ears
And glasses would crack, and the soulfood shack would explode

And there wouldn't be rice and beans
And Sonny couldn't bring on the bowl full of collard greens
You've got to understand: he's a soulfood man

the christmas spirit

by Allison Krauss

As I went down to the river to pray
Studying about that good ol' way
And who shall wear the starry crown?
Good Lord show me the way!

O sisters let's go down
Lets go down, Come on down
O sisters lets go down
Down in the river to pray

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good ol’ way
And who shall wear the robe & crown
Good Lord show me the way!

O brothers lets go down
Let's go down, Come on down
O brothers lets go down
Down in the river to pray

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good ol’ way
And who shall wear the star and crown?
Good lord show me the way!

O fathers lets go down
Let's go down, Come on down
O fathers lets go down
Down in the river to pray

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good ol’ way
And who shall wear the robe and crown?
Good Lord show me the way!

O mothers lets go down
Come on down, don't you wanna go down?
O Mothers lets go down
Down in the river to pray

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good ol' way
And who shall wear the star and crown?
Good Lord show me the way!

O sinners lets go down
Lets go down, come on down
O sinners lets go down
Down in the river to pray

As I went down in the river to pray
Studying about that good ol’ way
And who shall wear the thorny crown?
Good Lord show me the way!

The Most Interesting Thing on the Floor Game/Oracle

Wednesday, December 7 (Moon in Aquarius to Pisces 12:45 a.m.) Focus will be on where you live and a decision relating to your martial status. Decide on the direction of your life. A Capricorn and a Cancer will play outstanding roles and could have these letters in their names: B, K, T. At the track, choose the number 2 position in the second race.

So after the show Travis and I are mulling around and he gets on the phone, so I decide to play a game with myself called “let’s find the most interesting thing on the floor.” I would be lying if I said there didn’t appear to be anything very interesting or out of the ordinary. Cups of course, lots of those thin cocktail straws bent and discarded, wet spots, a few cigarette butts, and then I saw someone’s ticket they had printed off at home on a folded up piece of paper. There was a glow stick too but I’ve seen those before, and since the paper was the only thing with writing on it, which I thought might reveal some deeper, interesting ‘thing,’ it won the most interesting contest.
I went back to check on Travis and his phone call, started to try to tell him about the game I’d been playing for the last few moments, but decided it wouldn’t come out right, and I knew that, and that’s ok, I still had fun. But then on our way up the stairs I saw a plane ticket stub on the ground and in an instant I decided that was the new most interesting thing on the floor and so I picked it up.
“Travis, what city do you think this plane ticket is to or from?”
“What? Umm, ok, New Mexico?”
I looked down at the stub now for the first time. “Salt Lake City to San Francisco. Hmmm.”
I tried to think if there was something interesting about that, at all. The first thing I thought was interesting was that the ticket didn’t explain how it got to LA, there’s a story for ya. And then I realized it did actually relate to something, kind of, was I making this up? Am I making this up? I kept wondering as we walked out and realized that I’ve been trying to decide what to do for New Years for one, and what to do about getting a job after New Years for two. My prospects so far, and the two options that are available and seem solid are to go see String Cheese in San Francisco for New Years and then go to the Deer Valley in Utah with Haadman and totally try something new. I do so well when I get to start off fresh, and if I get to do it with someone, especially someone who I know and who knows me as well as James, then that just makes it even cooler.

(I have the ticket stub too if anyone’s really care’s that much.)

The Attitude

“To be able to preserve joyousness of heart and yet to be concerned in thought: in this way we can determine good fortune and misfortune on earth, and bring to perfection everything on earth.” – the I Ching

It has recently come to my attention that strange wonders are afoot. Lofty transitions of the strangest and deepest and most integral kind. Sparkling moments that mean nothing at all, and yet everything, because you saw that tiny little meaningless thing I thought was so meaningless nobody else would even bother to single it out in their conscious experience for even a moment, too. You saw it too. Tiny things, tiny absurdly arbitrary incredibly mystical dual moments of experience, in a single moment, or an infinite moment, I haven’t quite figured that out yet, but it delights me to know the jury is still out. Wondering gets me through bumper to bumper traffic better than anything else i've found (I’ve learned to avoid traffic altogether when at all possible, but I don’t get upset when I find myself waiting.)
So what is one to do when they refuse to ignore all these strange karmic comeuppances? How do I refuse to be systematically forgetful and addicted to comfortable thought patterns? Is there a rehab for these sorts of things? Can you send an entire city to a place where they can change individually and collectively, all for the better of course, at once? I mean everybody in their own time coming together at once, to form once once, for a moment that has lasting impressions? Impressions for the better? But that brings to mind, what is the better? How can we change? And farther yet if we do change, how can we be sure we are changing for the better? Changing towards something more ideal? How do I know there is an ideal to stretch for in the first place? What about all those people that argue religion is a type or neurosis? "Opium of the masses" types?
These are all great questions, and I’ve been there, and a part of my mind has tried to paralyze myself from thinking through these things, through all the way to the end and then living my life adjusted to their implications, based on what I determine to the best of my capability to be the Good? Not a rash adjustment, a well thought out, planned for a lifetime, solid shift towards the “good.” You can waste a lot of time asking yourself “how can I know for sure?” but if you really take the time to sift through all that bullshit excess rationalism and ask yourself to tell yourself, without words, “how do I know what the good is?” I can almost promise you you know. Only a few of you are probably gifted enough to explain to yourself with words what it means to know and what it feels like to know, but everyone by nature of their divine nature, can feel what it feels like to know there’s something bigger going on here. There is most definitely something weird going on here. I don’t know how you know, and I could speculate with you if you wanted me to, but I know you know. Hell, we could sit down and think up some fantastic stories about fantastic things that no one will ever know “for sure”, (except that they already know) and I can become intoxicated with joy and bliss and laughter living in the creation of those beautiful stories. That is enough for me because it is a miracle that I can do it at all. Whether or not I’m going to be snooty about my definition of a miracle or not is up to me, and that is the neurosis part of religion. Still, whatever colors and situations and characters I use to tell the story about the Truth, the truth it never changes. The Truth is a holographic whole we are all looking at from different angles, but the whole is whole, and underneath it all none of us are separated in any way from the whole, but the dream continues. Maya works its sweet and sour magic and my ignorant ego continues to sand itself either into a sword or a beautifully smooth round rock. Which do you think is better? Whether a person realizes that everything they think they know they already knew before they thought they knew it or not, they know.
So my advice is go ahead with the “how do I know for sure?” discourse for a while. Float around that thought stream and take that approach towards finding the good until it nearly runs you into the ground with frustration, until life gives you not one but a few swift kicks in the nuts, and you’re almost about to give up on the whole things, and one more straw is going to break your back- and then you get it. Just before you crash into the ground you laugh at yourself and you remember that you know and you knew all along all this whole uncomfortable situation is part of the illusion and theirs is a customized lesson we’re all supposed to learn from our own plots in this one yard. You even know, to a certain degree, why you think you don’t know the things you really do know. The important thing to remember is to never take yourself too seriously. But you also need to be sure you don’t obliterate your ability to know how aware you are of the things you know, the important things you know, the eternal, blessed, spiritual “knowing” you’ve brushed up against during those special times in your life. You have to know what the good is and you have to know where you are on your approach to the good so you can know how far you’ve come and how far you’ve got to go. When shit gets tough, perserverance furthers.
How can “it” be so personal and so universal at the same time? How can “it” be talking to all of us at once but in all our own little personal languages? Our own infinitely unique snowflake pattern?
I don’t know- but it does. THINK ABOUT THAT!

come as melody

so i went to see trey tonite at the wiltern, and the drummer from the police whose names escapes me, came out and did some rock rock with trey. they played "rubberneck lions" from their Oysterhead collaboration and then the police tune "Can't stand losin'. more to come on all of this but it was really great. it really is a good thin phish ended, nothings is gone, its just invisible.

to the tune of rockstar rock madness-

Rubberneck lions as I lie bed
Double barrel under the pillow under my head
Ya dont wake a man when he's trying to dead
Cause of the rubberneck lions as I lie in bed.

Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
I bought a cactus from a miser named Fred
I choose to live on water and bread
Cause of the rubberneck lions as i lie in bed.

Well I'm cold and I'm lonely but I'll come around
Black clouds hanging over shady ground
Full moom risin' up above my head.

Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed,
I never listen to a word you said
Never mess with a man when he's trying to be dead,
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed

Well I'm old and I'm homely but would you come around?
Ears to deaf to hear a sound
Aaron looked to Moses for his daily bread,

Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Three strips of bacon on my toasted head,
Two over easy on a roll and I'm fed.
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed

Rubberneck lions as I lie bed
Double barrel under the pillow under my head
Ya dont wake a man when he's trying to dead
Cause of the rubberneck lions as I lie in bed.

Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions as I lie in bed
Rubberneck lions

all fall down

Interviewer to Keller Williams: Why do you rock so hard?
Keller Williams: ITS THE ENERGY FROM WITHIN


There it is, coming up from the west, from the east from the sour sour southhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

milestones

I wrote this in Georgia...

High on a mountain
Thinking about when times were low
All you here beside me
I feel the mountain glow
Your hearts reflect the stars
Your minds connect the roots
I’ll be comin’ down the mountain,
I’ll be comin’ down real soon.

Festival Research Summer Spectacular!

So I have finally taken in my computer to get the sound fixed. I knew it was going to take a trip in the mail somewhere and since I was never around any one apple store for long enough to send it off I have lived, without sound. But that’s all going to change now. This, you might be wondering, is my mother’s computer.
It’s rather nice to write on other people computer’s. A keypad and hard drive you’ve never used before because you had your own computer, of course. You waited so long to get your own computer, and then you did, and that was two years ago now, and you got so caught up in your own computer that you forgot all these other people have all these other computers; other operating systems, other ways of arranging the icons, other pictures to choose for wallpaper and other ways of shutting down. Now I'm not saying its bad to have your computer, in most cases its essential. All I'm saying is don't forgot to at least notice the other ways people are doin’ it these days. Maybe even notice humbly... but that wasn't the point now that I think about it.
The real reason it's neat is because, as a writer, there is nothing from the past hanging around on you desktop just a few clicks away. In the past – present – future bit, writing on a new computer that you don’t plan to write on or keep any of your files on for long takes away the static of the past and forces one to focus souly on the present and future.
Creative powers at work here, train on a track moving.

(The less I say about it the better it’s going to be for you when you get for yourself for the first time.)


Constraserve – to create actions with one’s feelings; to serve ones thought as a guideline; to extract personal meaning from.
Con-with
Stra- poet, soul
Serve-loyal, to do, action
*To make actions according to one’s truest intuitions*

Wise man say:
Something weird’s going on here.
“The power is out, third Saturday in a row.”
Very Superstitious, writing’s on the wall
(Pack from the bottom of the bag)
And take three breaths before you do anything.

Cole Suttle is the literal self.
See Subtle is the figurative self.
Soul Cuttle is my Smooth Jazz Dj name.

*

Bad
U2

If you twist and turn away
If you tear yourself in two again
If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would
Let it go
I would surrender
Dislocate

Into the night
And through the rain
If I could through myself
Set your spirit free
I'd lead your heart away
See you break, break away
Into the light
And to the day
To let it go
And so to fade away

I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
Wide awake
I'm not sleeping
Oh, no, no, no

If you should ask then maybe they'd
Tell you what I would say
True colors fly in blue and black
Bruised silken sky and burning flag
Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes
If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would
Let it go...

This revelation
In temptation
Isolation
Desolation
Let it go
And so fade away
To let it go
And so fade away
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
Wide awake
I'm not sleeping
Oh, no, no, no

Sea of Dreams

Does anyone want to go see String Cheese Incident play in San Francisco for New Years? Maybe even just the 30th and then come back here for a party? Its the Sea of Dreams Eve-o-lution put on by some of the same people that put on Burning Man... could be a good time... let me know if anyone's adventuresome

seesubtle@mac.com

http://www.seaofdreamsnye.com/

branching out

chs jibber jabber...

Where I lack the physical nouns you fill in your own paints of lofty sweet
nectarine gazes and lemon scented mustard gas muffins.
Then rationally rest on the irrational desire to impulsively push away
doubts of our dismay
And be persuaded the disenchantment of children must be stopped at once.
Cultivate creative spirituality.
Creative, improvised spiritual experiences…

Befuddled but free
I take to the tide
My heart ago left me
Makes an easier ride

*

Metaphorically Speaking

Maybe religion is a battle of the wits. Maybe its a reaction of some part in myself. Ego is egotistical, but not exactly. When life turns upside down and your emotional parts experience to explosion (as they’re supposed to), it’s nice to be comforting, but I need to be able to explain it to myself by myself. In a way that isn’t individualism when followed out to it’s full, ideally about turning each person into themselves. I don’t know if that’s the plan, but it must be. Individualism must be teleology. If teleology is coral then we can apply that to other parts of nature that, though seemingly not at all related, are really connected in a metaphorical way.
Interesting.

*

What better place to waste my energy than typing something to keep me calm?

*

the sun, think of the sun
the sun
was freedom

you have to take the lamb’s heart to set it free

Haadstrong!

Haadstrong!

One Full Breath

Inhale-

The intake is slow and choppy,
Adjusting appropriately to turbulence
Unscoped by the electricity that keeps things humming.
We are guests here, leeches of another makeup,
Test tube projects so drugged up
It takes death to realize real lies.
The dark and unshaped begins to pulse and vibrate
As the haze creates mazes over under, tip and tuck
Down and render. Render what?
What’s been asked of me to date?
There’s a girl, and a grade, and this recipe
I might try. A box of dials I use
To hone the subtle tones of an ear on the phone.
You can’t see it? I can’t either, have a drink
And we’ll conspire a way to create the Real.
No more placated fakes based on faith
Of a “real” stone left dank, damp in a hole
Too deep for the souls of our big heavy machines,
Try to drill for a dream, I dare you!

-exhale.

Focus on the Crunch

i'm down on the farm so postings have been minimal, you'll have to excuse me. when i'm down here i try to simplify, purify the waves, boil down to the essentials, so while i'm getting great material, i think i'll save most of it to post when i get back home.

i do a lot of walking into myself down here and it helps me see where i'm hiding the goodstuff, you should really try it. there's nothing better than bumping into your oversoul because you were looking at your feet while you walked. the leaves are down but you should really hear the sound of the crunch underfoot, i love that crunch. crunch crunch crunch. focus on the crunch

*

So Many Roads
Robert Hunter

Thought I heard a blackird singing
Up on Bluebird Hill
Call me a whinin' boy if you will
Born where the sun don't shine
And I don't deny my name
Got no place to go, ain't that a shame?

Thought I heard that KC whistle
Moaning sweet and low
Thought I heard that KC when she blow
Down where the sun don't shine
Underneath the Kokomo
Whinin' boy got no place to go

So many roads I tell you
So many roads I know
So many roads, so many roads
Mountain high, river wide
So many roads to ride
So many roads, so many roads

Thought I heard a jug band playin'
"If you don't... who else will?"
From over on the far side of the hill
All I know the sun don't shine
And the rain refused to fall
And you don't seem to hear me when I call

Wind inside and the wind outside
Tangled in the window blind
Tell me why you treat me so unkind
Down where the sun don't shine
Lonely and I call your name
No place left to go, ain't that a shame?

So many roads I tell you
New York to San Francisco
So many roads I know
All I want is one to take me home
From the high road to the low
So many roads I know
So many roads so many roads

From the land of the midnight sun
Where the ice blue roses grow
Along those roads of gold and silver snow
Howlin' wide or moaning low
So many roads I know
So many roads to ease my soul

I said hey senorita, that's astute I say...

sooooooo guess who i met at Travis' housewarming party last night
yup, secret hand signals and everything...
*
Gumboots
Paul Simon

She looked me over
And I guess she thought I was all right
All right in a sort of a limited way
For an off-night
She said don’t I know you
From the cinematographer’s party
I said who am I
To blow against the wind

I know what I know
I’ve seen what I said
We come and we go
That’s a thing that I keep
In the back of my head

She said there’s something about you
That really reminds me of money
She was the kind of girl
Who could say things that
Weren’t that funny
I said what does that mean
I really remind you of money
She said who am I
To blow against the wind

I know what I know
I’ll sing what I said
We come and we go
That’s a thing that I keep
In the back of my head

She moved so easily
All I could think of was sunlight
I said aren’t you the woman
Who was recently given a Fulbright
She said don’t I know you
From the cinematographer’s party
I said who am I
To Blow against the wind

I know what I know
I’ll sing what I said
We come and we go
That’s the thing that I do
In the back of my head

Saturday, Novermber 19th, 2005

The Moment between before and after is called truth."
-Katagiri Roshi

years go by and though we may try you can't bring them back home again

i really just don't know what to say about today yet

*

Possum
phish

I come from atop the mountain baby
Where the people come to pray
I come from atop the mountain baby
Where the people come to pray
There ain't no truth in action
'Less you believe it anyway

I was riding down the road one day and
Someone hit a possum
I was riding down the road one day and
Someone hit a possum
The road was his end
His end was the road
So they say

Whoa possum...
possum, possum...
POSSUM
Whoa possum...
possum, possum...
POSSUM
Whoa possum, possum
Your end is the road

I was riding down the road one day and
Someone hit a possum
I was riding down the road one day and
Someone hit a possum
The road was his end
His end was the road
So they say

Whoa possum...
possum, possum...
POSSUM
Whoa possum...
possum, possum...
POSSUM
Whoa possum,
Your end is the road
Whoa possum, possum
Your end is the road

Hepped Up on Goofballs
Keller Williams


Yet another late night drive
Tell me brother, can you keep it between the lines
We got so far to go, feels like we're going slow
Don't even bother to read the signs

Kickin' like a chicken it hittin' and a-flickin' it
Doin' what you can just to stay awake
Dippin' it and sippin' it, tailgate birdie flippin' it
Flashing over the trucker with the stinky brakes

Because we're hepped up on goofballs
Gotta look out for each other
Hepped up on goofballs
The sisters and the brothers
Hepped up on goofballs
We own this late night road
Hepped up on goofballs
Hauling the motherload

boop-a-chicka boop-a-chicka boop-a-chicka
we he he he
boop-a-chicka boop-a-chicka boop-a-chicka
we he he

Yet another mindless cruise
One with the wheel as we pay our dues
Still so far to go, feels like we're going slow
One mile closer to the snooze

Rockin' it, never stoppin' it, Cap'n Kirk and Spock'n it
Transforming the road into the holodeck
Crunchin' it and punchin' it, casually lunchin' it
Doin' what you can to avoid the wreck

Yet another 11 months away from home
Market's smothered, cussin' out the dead cell phone
Not so far to go, we're through with goin' slow
I feel like I know what it’s like to be a rolling stone

Alfalfa and Spanky all dressed up looking swanky
Hallucinatin' on the back of a diesel mack
Singin' it and ringin' it, show up cha chingin' it
Politely slice through eternal black

boop-a-chicka boop-a-chicka boop-a-chicka
we he he he
boop-a-chicka boop-a-chicka boop-a-chicka
we he he

and now, a word from our sponser...

"gallungy lunngy lungginess is worth living, however, not for any amount of time beyond the interstellar constellation Oriion and his Burdensome Dog Cannus?" -james "derka derka" cook

the Two Six Misto

Now that I am home, surrounded by different objects than I was on the road, I give pause to wonder what it is I use around me to define me. How do I know who I am to myself? Of course there is the fundamental sense of simply knowing I am I, but I don’t believe it ends there. I listen to a certain set of music, I order my burger a particular way, I don’t eat cat food, I do eat vegetables, I don’t shop for clothes that often so I wear what I’ve got, I drive a certain car whether I resent it or not, which brings up another question. How much do I know about myself by what I don’t like? Like the old song says, “you are only what you hate,” and the new song says “you are what you lean on.” When I hear this I try not to hate anything, which is a good practice on an ideal level, but come one, who doesn’t hate anything? Something to lean on though, that sounds great. I just need to be honest with myself and appreciate what those things are. Standing on the shoulder of giants leaves me cold, but it lets me see real far too. Balance is everything. I prefer many more things than I hate though, so if I can focus on keeping that ratio pretty lopsided, I think I should be ok.
It’s been very nice here. Bright blue sky, poolside weather, the only clouds are the ones behind the jets and that haze that comes in towards the afternoon, but once you put all that out of your mind it’s a beautiful Southern California day, just like you’d expect it. On account of the lovely weather I was lying in the backyard, on my back, in a bit of a blissed out codeine stupor (the wisdom teeth), watching the leaves fall from two big oak trees. As I lay there looking up, tracing the tree against that bright blue sky, observing the sunshine cascade through all the cracks and crevices of the branches, a voice from the heavens spoke to me, sort of. Sort of a voice I mean; it definitely spoke to me.
Some of you will understand better than others. I believe there are sacred, invisible, archetypal geometric patterns that permeate all levels of existence. Patterns as such which may seem haphazard at times, such as the arrangement of the branches and leaves on this tree, but in essence these patterns are always mysteriously occurring, perfectly. Sometimes, in some moments on some days these patterns occur and reoccur simultaneously, which is a hard concept to wrap your mind around I know.
Think of it as similar to the way singers can syncopate their voices (sing in rounds – everybody try! Row row row your boat – now you go –row (gently) row (down) your (the) boat…and so on), these patterns are doing the same thing. When you find both groups singing the same word at the same time it is because their wavelengths are overlapping, even though they didn’t start at the same time. At certain perfect paradoxical moments the measure will line up, the conflicting wavelengths match up perfectly with each other for a moment, and BAM! something happens. Perhaps a octave shift or something.
Working along this same line, patterns are essential number ratios such as 1 to phi (1.168…) which is half of pi, relationships of situations to other situations, cosmic alignments, but all invisible. Geometric patterns may represent the form of the magic, but they merely point to it, they are not the pattern itself. The golden ratio of 1 to phi is found in everything from the shape of these falling leaves to the size of every brick in the great pyramid. There is something going on behind the curtain, the OZ is ever floating.
In my life I have stumbled across these patterns a few times here and there, even noticed them hit their syncopated beats, and one of the legends I’ve found is the number 26. Ahh twenty-six, the two six, the holiest of holies. What’s so special about two six? I may be making this up, and perhaps everyone has their own special little number that follows them everywhere, I admit this is a possibility, but my intentions and skepticisms were the same as yours one day. Perhaps the revelation is that simply by looking for a number in the world that surrounds you, your intention catalyzes it to appear, or perhaps its always there and you merely decide to start noticing it. What if you even started to follow it? Could it be a magical thread leading us somewhere in life, or would our own intention be leading us away from ourselves in the wrong direction somehow? Is that even possible?
Fine fine skeptics, believe what you will. The power of the two six is that you can’t prove it’s insignificant until you start to look for it and test it out for yourself. The magic is wholly subjective, and yet there are a number of you out there who have observed the same phenomenon as me, even pointed it out to me- two six is everywhere. It’s the cost of your grocery bill, in your phone number somewhere, ot in that girl’s phone number you’ve been trying to get for so long, or your address, or her address, it’s the random number people on TV seem to mention whenever they are speaking about something meaningless, (meaningless?)
The sacred geometry thing is a working hypothesis to explain why 26 is everywhere, the other being that there are 26 letters in the alphabet which cause it to come up a lot or something, but that doesn’t seem universal enough for me. This is a rather long set up for the pic, but now hopefully you’ll understand how I felt when, lying there on my back, counting leaves as they fall, I noticed a skywriter begin to write what you see above. I have no idea what 1260 written in the sky could possibly mean- to anybody else that is. Of course I know what it means, I just have trouble believing something that seems so silly, and yet so constantly and inexplicably rings true. I prefer to live in the misto inside of rot in the logical cages that don’t do a very good job of explaining the little things that make us wonder.
So to those who know, look at this shit! TWO SIX IN THE SKY! It’s like a message from the heavens...
And for those who don’t know, you’re invited to start partaking in the nonsensical mysterious joy that is the city life we lead. Find the message where it can get to you, you’ve got make a little space to observe the inconsistencies and quilt yourself something magic to ride on into the sunset with.

-Soul Cuttle


Father and Son
By Cat Stevens

(Father)
It's not time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy.
You're still young, that's your fault,
There's so much you have to know.
Find a girl, settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.

I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy,
To be calm when you've found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything you've got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.

(Son)
How can I try to explain, when I do he turns away again.
It's always been the same, same old story.
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen.
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.

(Father)
It's not time to make a change,
Just sit down, take it slowly.
You're still young, that's your fault,
There's so much you have to go through.
Find a girl, settle down,
if you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.
(Son-- Away Away Away, I know I have to
Make this decision alone - no)

(Son)
All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside,
It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it.
If they were right, I'd agree, but it's them They know not me.
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.
(Father-- Stay Stay Stay, Why must you go and
make this decision alone?)

Now…
You left the solid wall behind
To lead the balance of below
Love that breaks all lines…
Unseen, a time to break your mind
To see the shadows of the signs
And watch the water fall alone
To see the center of the road
Unlined…
Unwavered and unfree
Undone to love, the same as me
Unturned, untaken and all alone
Unseen, another chance to understand the movements
In the corner of your mind…
To see the balance of behind
And walk the centerline alone
Love that breaks all lines…

great ideas

So I’ve been cleaning out my room to make room for all the boxes from my old apartment that met me, waiting, in my room back here at home. Did you get all that? I feel like I’m going very fast inside so sometimes it doesn’t come out smooth enough to be vaguely clear. Is it vaguely clear enough? Mooohaaa!!
Anyways, in the course of cleaning out my room I found a frame on the ground. I picked it up and saw that it was the yearbook page my parents had put together my senior year of high school. Ahh! What a time snapper! And on the page was some advice I was given when I was going in to the cyclone of college, and now, looking back from the other side of the cyclone for the first time, I give pause to soak it in. Re-calibrate it if you will to find new dimensions of time-tucked wisdom,...

Dear Cole,
Well congratulations, you actually made it. I’ll admit that for a while I had my doubts. But you’ve grown a lot the past few years and you seem to have a pretty good mind in that head of yours, so here’s my advice for the next four years:
1. There’s a lot to learn in college. Some of it happens in the classroom, most of it doesn’t. That doesn’t mean one is more important than the other.
2. 2. Everyone you meet will have different motivations for what they’re doing. Some people do things for money, some people do things for grades, some people do things without ever knowing why, but you should do it for the sake of Quality. If you don’t know what that means yet, you’ve got four years to figure it out.
3. Don’t go to college to prepare yourself for a career, because that just distracts from your education.
4. Always ask why. I know people who could identify every kind of button on every uniform of every unit that fought in the Civil war, but if you ask them why the South seceded they wouldn’t have a clue. Which do you think is more important?
5. Some of your best work will be done after four-thirty in the morning.
6. Finally, don’t worry too much about what you’re doing, where you’re going or how you’re going to get there, even if everyone else seems to. Just enjoy where you are, strive for Quality, and everything else will fall into place, as it should. If nothing else, have faith in that.

Love, Brooks

*

Tribe
Keller WIlliams

Give it to me—your energy
Can I subscribe to your vibe?
Give it to me—your energy
Can I subscribe to your vibe?
Such a strong appeal
To your sense of feel
Give it to me—your energy
Can I subscribe to your vibe?
Give it to me—your energy
Can I join your tribe?

Routine ramble through the motions
As I swerve right off the path
Mind is so fine
It goes so straight when the road winds
I like to think it’s an art that you craft

Mold it, paint it, shape it, play it
Do your thing is what I say
Mold it, paint it, shape it, play it
Mold it, paint it, shape it, play it
Do your thing is what I sing
Such a strong appeal
To your sense of feel
Mold it, paint it, shape it, play it
Do your thing is what I say
Mold it, paint it, shape it, play it
Mold it, paint it, shape it, play it
Can I be your thing?

Nothing binds
It just loosely hangs
As I try to keep my hands on the wheel
Right of way is just mine today
You can take me anywhere you feel

Harvest kind, don’t do time
All you need is the seed
Harvest the kind, don’t do the time
All you need is the seed
Such a strong appeal
To your sense of feel
Harvest kind, don’t do time
All you need is the seed
Harvest the kind, don’t the do time
A leader’s got to lead

Take a little drive around the U.S.A.
No need to pack
We’ll pick up a stuff along the way
Mind is so fine
It goes so straight when the road winds
I’m so glad she likes it that way

Give it to me—your energy
Can I subscribe to your vibe?
Give it to me—your energy
Can I join your tribe?

the pulling and yanking and pulling and yanking

I got my wisdom teeth taken out today and it sucked, let me tell you. Don’t let anyone ever tell you it should be done with local anesthetic, knock yourself out.
It’s strange losing a part of me that has been with me for a long time now. Despite is despotic state and constant drain on my energy and peace of mind, I feel its absence. Sort of. It still hurts too much to go feeling around in there with my tongue, so I’m sticking to gnawing on gauze and thinking happy thoughts. How am I going to eat? It’s hard enough to get down a swallow of water to take the antibiotics and occasional codeine, chewing is out of the question. Where’s my IV?
If I were looking for some sort of hidden transmission of wisdom (haha) from this experience I would notice the way it forces me to slow down. It reprioritizes all the thoughts in my head and reminds me of the immediacy of my body. Without my body running well enough just so that I am not in constant pain, which is a very amazing thing in itself when I think about it, I am never truly free in my mind. I am thankful for all the times this is not the case, because by being free from constant obsession with the body the mind wanders elsewhere, deeper and further into the potential to be explored.

Explore
To be explored
To explore the unexplored
You and I
Here and There
(roll that around in your head)

Wisdom comes in the absence of it’s physical form is perhaps the lesson. We transcend the bodily to grow in the mind. Hmmm, this has some resonance to it, do you feel that? Perhaps I am going to learn something from this miserable experience after all.

*

SloMo Ballon
Keller Williams

SloMo balloon
With a mind all of its own
Eerily floating
Mission is clear
Don't touch the ceiling
Just linger in waiting
An interesting face
In the life of a balloon
Literally goes with the flow
Drifting in the draft
Of the passer by
SloMo balloon refuses to die

I think that is where
I would like to be
A state of constant floatation
No stomach to feed
No blood to bleed
Just a gravity-less vacation
Younger and unleashed
Surely we would float up to
The top of the sky
For certain would have exploded
Survive that rationale
Now he lives to tell
Silent tales of a simple time
To the interesting face
In the life of a balloon
Literally goes with the flow
Drifting in the draft
Of the passerby
SloMo balloon refuses to die

Why not waste the time
Dreaming
What else is there to do
With the time
Mercy of the air
That is dreaming
Away from my mind

Ode to My Roadgear

Through all our trials and tribulations I always knew you could make it mighty one. Whether it was our long nights driving with the moon or early mornings waking up in national parks, you always kept me warm. Even when the AC was broken and you kept me too warm in Chicago in the middle of the summer, you kept me warm. Even when you had to get an entire new engine and I wasn’t even sure it was you when you came back, it was you, and we carried on across the land of free and the home of the brave. Even when you started dumping water on my feet from behind the pedals, I knew you were going to get better. Two brains later (control units in the dash) and four sets of new brake pads burned, we made it home like I knew we would, eventually. Thank you for our time together and may our future be bright and happy

Contact
Phish

The tires are the things on your car
That make contact with the road
The car is the thing on the road
That takes you back to your abode

The tires are the things on your car
That make contact with the road
Bummed is what you are
When you go out to your car and it's been towed

I woke up one morning in November
And I realized I love you
It's not your headlights in front
Your tailpipe, or the skylight above you
It's the way you cling to the road
When the wind tries to shove you
I'd never go driving away
And come back home without you

Finding Neverland (no relation to Nederland, mere coincidence)

So I went up to Santa Ynez and ate at the restaurant from Sideways and realized how annoying that movie has been to the locals. Almost as annoying as the Michael Jackson trial because the Neverland ranch is just past the bull and around the bend. Wine has its perks, but I wanted to see Neverland. I’ve always heard it was every child’s dream (Ewwwwwhoo I know, just kidding). I’m not kidding though that there’s a lower school directly across the street from the hideout. Then again the hideout is some 2000 acres, but that’s a lot of room to get lost in. Well Neverland was a bit of a letdown and you’ll just have to trust me that’s it behind me. I guess I’m too old to charm my way in, oh well. Anyways, something about Neverland and Peter Pan and my love for Dr. Suess inspire these next few lines in this moment right here. Right here on this side of now. You’re going to get the far side of now but its as close as we can get.


A funny thing happened on the way to Neverland…
We hit a bump! No no, not THAT bump silly!
It was mom and I and our friends the Wells
Protecting our privates on the grounds of acquittal
I’m not scared, he’s in Bahrain!
I only worry about the school across from his giraffe
Midland kids might come down with a rash
Two oceans to cross, Michael’s no match
Then again, Michael Jackson is a god to some people
Whose silly now?


(notice I’m not an idiot, I’m protecting the goods)

I took off for a weekend last month
Just to try and recall the whole year
All of the faces and all of the places
Wonderin' where they all disappeared
I didn't ponder the question too long
I was hungry and went out for a bite
Ran into a chum with a bottle of rum
And we wound up drinkin all night

It's these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of our running and all of our cunning
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane

Reading departure signs in some big airport
Reminds me of the places I've been
Visions of good times that brought so much pleasure
Makes me want to go back again
If it suddenly ended tomorrow
I could somehow adjust to the fall
Good times and riches and son of a bitches
I've seen more than I can recall

These changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
Through all of the islands and all of the highlands
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane

I think about Paris when I'm high on red wine
I wish I could jump on a plane
So many nights I just dream of the ocean
God I wish I was sailin' again
Oh, yesterday's over my shoulder
So I can't look back for too long
There's just too much to see waiting in front of me
And I know that I just can't go wrong

With these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of my running and all of my cunning
If I couldn't laugh I just would go insane
If we couldn't laugh we just would go insane
If we weren't all crazy we would go insane

weebles wobble but they don't fall down

I don’t even know how to express the feeling of coming home. Circles, loops, delay loops but loops nonetheless. Beginning echo return to repeat again. How many loops? Ah, but perhaps they are not loops but spirals, returning to the same place in one dimension but never in all the dimensions. Like an octave hitting the syncopated harmony of bliss tattooed into the flesh of the NOW we are all communicreating, here and now, bouncing off one another’s thoughts and misperceptions and apparitions and apprehensions about admitting the unseen out front with everybody so totally caught up in the game of the thing. Whose thing? Who’s game? Whose playing whom and what do the pieces look like? How many spaces is a carrot? What do the dice add up to? Whose roll is it next? Are we playing for keeps? Recess rules?
I set out to make a roundabout way back to where I began. Not where I began here from, this roundabout way, but where I began to want to find out what I am all about deep down under the outside clout that kept me in my skin for so damn long. Because, after all, what is it I’m really going after? What is it I really want under all this bullshit exterior? What’s really putting the coal in the fire to move this train? Peace of Mind. Where did that sneak off to when I wasn’t looking?
It's ok though, i found it coming over the pass. It was here all along, just like i knew it must have been, even when i couldn't feel it when i tried to hold it in my hand, it was always here, blowing just so the hairs on the back on my neck ripple for a bit and i get a nice chillywarm shiver.

*

Restless Wind
Bill Nershi

As I ramble around on the outskirts of town
Visions from the past fill my mind
I remember the day that you went away
And each and every tear that I cried

Autumn chill cuts the air
Leaves blow through the sky
I feel your spirit everywhere
I can hear you sigh….restless wind

I look back on the past, time has gone by so fast
Since those trips to the hills where you lived
When I was young you were always so strong
You seemed to have the world on a string

Autumn chill cuts the air
Leaves blow through the sky
I feel your spirit everywhere
I can hear you sigh….restless wind

Roots run deep
And you ran faster than the wind
Roots run deep
I still feel all the love you send

Now I turn back towards my home but I don’t feel alone
Like I did when I left for the night
‘Cause you’re right here with me and now I can see
The spirit and the soul never die

intrepid traveler!

I have descended down the western slope of the rockies now, and the momentum of the descent is enough to roll me all the way back down the hill to Pasadena it feels like. Rolling all the way to the blessed golden shores, to weave my golden strands into a magic carpet i can fly on to my next adventure into the heart of the thrust of things. I think i have enough strands for a carpet big enough to take a few friends on, but i'll have to get back to you on that, I don't want to get ahead of myself. Writing from that strongest, deepest, most honest and thriving part of myself is hard to be sure you are doing. The force is breathing and it breaths in and it breaths out and you are never sure if your breaths are getting deeper or more shallow, or if your location is going forward or backwards. The warping pitter-patter of the path is enough to leave one nauseous in a dizzy heap by the side of the road. Then again, warp speed really busts the jar wide open as far as which direction one chooses to take it.

*

way back home
stringcheeseincident

see...so much to see
find...you close to me
fly...way beyond the moon
learn...to feel the groove
far...so far away
home...is where i want to stay

on my way
way back home
i can't stay
way back home
so far away
way back home
on my way
way back home

long...the path is so long
long...but it makes me strong
live how you want to live
you...have so much to give
time...moves so slow
soon...it will be time to go

feel…what you need to me
see...so much to see
find...find you close to me

see what you find
waiting for you
home is the place
heart is true
feeling of warmth
sense of relief
found your place
now you believe

on my way
way back home
i can't stay
way back home
on my way
way back home
i can't stay
way back home

Weird Science

I am the Slime
Frank Zappa

I am gross and perverted
I’m obsessed and deranged
I have existed for years
But very little has changed
I am the tool of the government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you

I may be vile and pernicious
But you can’t look away
I make you think I’m delicious
With the stuff that I say
I am the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I am the slime oozin’ out
From your TV set

You will obey me while I lead you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don’t need you
Don’t go for help, no one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold

That’s right, folks
Don’t touch that dial
Well, I am the slime from your video
Oozin’ along on your living room floor
I am the slime from your video
Can’t stop the slime, people, look at me go

Miracle Park

How do you convince a person to open up a space in their life for miracles? How do you convince someone to ask the universe for help?

Language / Order / Time / Intention / Message / Communication / Sender / Receiver / Understanding / Misunderstanding / Adjustment / Awakening / Rebirth / Death / The Sun / The Children / Love / Joy / Evolution / Perfection / Disaster / Growth / Love

*

Kinesiology

Kinesiology is simple. This powerful tool is simple because it only uses your electrical chi system and your muscles. The challenge is that accurate readings require a subtle discerment. Learning to k-test is like learning to ride a bike, it takes practive. That is one of the big reasons that this site was created. Kinesiology happens to be one of those amazingly simple things in life just that are available to anyone with Positive Intentions.

How long will it take to learn Kinesiology?

This depends on the individual and their spiritual development and their intention. Small children can learn to do kinesiology in about five minutes. My guess is that they learn faster because their consciousness is more of a blank slate, this means that they have fewer positionalities. The thought that they couldn't do it never occurred to them. The innocence of a child sees no barriers.

The more you practice the faster you will gain mastery. The key is to have fun with it. If you run into a challenge, ask yourself, "What can I learn from this?" God will reward your patience.

The reason people struggle with kineisology is that they're used to a complex intellectual understanding and kinsiology calibrates at 600. That puts it out of the realm of the Intellect.

How does k-testing work?
The kinesiological response is a simple yes or no response to a single stimulus. The stimulus can be substance or a simple statement. If the stimulus is beneficial and supports life, the muscles test strong. If the stimulus is not beneficial, the muscles will test weak. The response is very quick and brief

A critical understanding is that the kinesiological test measures the level of Truth of a stimulus. Just like in the real world something either exists or it does not exist.This is a subtle understanding, so to further explain think about electricity. The lightbulb lights your room either gets electical power or it does not get electical power. Non-electric current does not flow throught the wires to turn off the light. The electical current stops and in that instant the light turns out.

Whatever our life essence is, it work in much the same way. There is either life or no-life. So the k-test measures if something strengthens this life energy. If the stimulus is beneficial, the test subject will test strong.

Third Eye Pumpkin

it's his inner pumpkin, get it?

about the plate...

airheads = rainbowroll / seaweed / ginger
nerds = salmon eggs
sour worms = octopus
yellow skttles = yellowtail
green skittles = wasabi

use your mental chopsticks, you'll get it.

just passing through

(look for the deer)

Sand
phish

If you can heal the symptoms
But not affect the cause
It's quite a bit like trying to heal
A gunshot wound with gauze

If you instead attempt to wrest
The pistol from the hand
Then I would not be able to
Equate my life with sand

Flowing through the hourglass
Pushing through the funnel
Turn once more while racing
All your siblings for the tunnel

Slide and let the silicone
Embrace you as you fall
Then bounce and land you let
Your brothers crush you to the wall

I would choose my own religion
And worship my own spirit
But if he ever preached to me
I wouldn't want to hear it

I'd drop him, a forgotten god,
Languishing in shame
And then if I hit stormy seas
I'd have myself to blame

Throw the Pumpkin at the Tree

(unless you think that pumpkin holds your destiny,
cast it off into the sea, bake that pie and eat it with me)

"it's go WEST, young man."

from Boulder: I have made it to the mountains and it feels good. Revelations come in tongues, come in sweets and come in sours and come in all sorts of hidden, archetypal flavors. In the mountains my tongue is sensitive to the receptions the earth offers this far above the sea, this close to the sun. A delicate balance and the nerve not to run, it’s not a race this close to the sun.

*

Going to California
Led Zepplin

Spent my days with a woman unkind,
Smoked my stuff and drank all my wine.
Made up my mind to make a new start,
Going to california with an aching in my heart.
Someone told me there’s a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
Took my chances on a big jet plane,
Never let them tell you that they’re all the same.
The sea was red and the sky was grey,
Wondered how tomorrow could ever follow today.
The mountains and the canyons started to tremble and shake
As the children of the sun began to awake.
Seems that the wrath of the gods
Got a punch on the nose and it started to flow;
I think I might be sinking.
Throw me a line if I reach it in time
I’ll meet you up there where the path
Runs straight and high.
To find a queen without a king;
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings.
La la la la
Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
Tryin’ to find a woman who’s never, never, never been born.
Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams,
Telling myself it’s not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.

Jesus on the Mainline (tell him what you want to)

I’ve been traveling every direction but east for a while now, bound to make home sometime soon. It’s been hard to find many hot spots so I’ve got some catching up to do on the BLOG. I’ll start here and go from there…

Keller Williams made a swing through Texas and I was lucky enough to catch a few shows, setlists below. Setlists are incomplete because it’s hard to remember to come down out of the sound to write down the song sometimes, but I do my best. My old professor and friend Dr. Barnard came with me to the Gypsy show just so he could see what all the fuss was about, and I must say it’s nice to have a peer in you. The Theremin blew his mind, of course, and I think the telepathic static theory came to light for him.

The questions is, how does he know what’s going on in my head, and who told him?

Keller at the Gypsy Tea Room in Dallas 10/21/05

Set I: Tuning Jam > Welcome to 2003-25 > Vacate > You May Be Right > Chicken Train, Bird Song, Landlord, Novelty Song, No Habla, Pebbles, “I gotta get down”, Black Sheep, Kidney in a Cooler > Drive My Car
Set II: Ricky Don’t Lose that Number > Teenage Wasteland, Mullet Song, new song, Sing For My Dinner, Boob Job > Freeker, Fuel for the Road
Encore: Eyes of the World

Notes: The Gypsy Tea Room is a special venue for Keller seeing as how one of his songs, Kidney in a Cooler, is about one time when he was on his way to play here and his car broke down, she had to deliver the kidney, deep ellum blues etc. So of course there are some expectations for him to do something special with this song each time, so this time, he played the entire song on his new beat-box toy, sitting down, without every touching his guitar. This was truly a first, a fantastic first.
Set two I missed him walk out on stage but the Teenage Wasteland seemed incredibly appropriate to the Dallas crowd. I remember last year he covered “Diamonds on the sole sof her Shoes” which was fitting too. Keller seems to aim for the young and lost crowd because it’s a ripe time to show them the light. Good work buddy, keep it up.
For the encore he polled the crowd, narrowing it down between Nirvana and the grateful Dead, then the dead original stuff vs. stuff they covered, then between Eyes of the World and ‘Till the morning comes, then played Eyes of the World since he’s got trippy ass eyeballs behind him these days. So many layers to peel I know.

Keller at Stubb’s BBQ in Austin 10/22/05

Set 1: tuning jam, In the Middle, Illegal Smile, new song, Bath of Fire > Tribe, “it’s just a shot away”, India > Stayin’ Alive, Kielbasa Sausage, Celebrate Your Youth, Alligator Ally, Vabeeotchee, Gate Crashers Suck, Shakedown Street, Portapotty
Set II: Mighty Quinn, Bob Rules > Big Ass Crater > Bob Rules, Longview, Jellyfish jam > Breathe, Poncho and Lefty, Tumbleweed, Freakshow > The Joker, ninja, Above the Thunder, Instra > St. Stephen > Best Feeling
Encore: Redemption Song

Notes: Stubb’s is an awesome venue as is, outdoors, and the night was beautiful. This show really was terrific with all sorts of covers I’d never heard. He is on point, if anyone has this show please pass it my way.


and always remember, I SEE THE JESUS INSIDE OF YOU!

Yup, uh-huh, I did and you know it and I think that's OK

So we’re still looking for a beginning, keep that in mind.
For something to exist it would seem that, at some point in time, it began. Perhaps on a syntactical loophole that sentence should be true. The key word though is time. “At some point in time.” This is to some degree true. Time is the limit of human experience. No, it is the limit of the scientific explanation of human existence and our relationship with the world around us.
The world that gets paid far too little attention though, is the world inside us. The world inside us is accessible to all as a gift, perhaps a curse, but either way a principal sent directly from God, to help you and I find our way home....

*

AS I PONDER'D IN SILENCE.
Walt Whitman

As I ponder'd in silence,
Returning upon my poems, considering, lingering long,
A Phantom arose before me with distrustful aspect,
Terrible in beauty, age, and power,
The genius of poets of old lands,
As to me directing like flame its eyes,
With finger pointing to many immortal songs,
And menacing voice, What singest thou? it said,
Know'st thou not there is but one theme for ever-enduring bards?
And that is the theme of War, the fortune of battles,
The making of perfect soldiers.

Be it so, then I answered,
I too haughty Shade also sing war, and a longer and greater one
than any,
Waged in my book with varying fortune, with flight, advance and
retreat, victory deferr'd and wavering,
(Yet methinks certain, or as good as certain, at the last,) the field
the world,
For life and death, for the Body and for the eternal Soul,
Lo, I too am come, chanting the chant of battles,
I above all promote brave soldiers.

*



Poncho and Lefty
Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard


Livin' on the road my friend, is gonna keep you free and clean
And now you wear your skin like iron, and your breath is hard as kerosene
Weren't you mamma's only boy-oy, her favourite one it seems
She began to cry when you said, good-bye, sank to your dream

Poncho was a bandit boy, his horse was fast as polished steel
He wore his gun outside his pants, for all the honest world to feel
Poncho met his match, you know, on the deserts down in Mexico
Nobody heard his dyin' word, but that's the way it goes

All the Federales, they say
They could have had him any day
They only let him slip a-away
Out of kindness I suppose

Lefty he can't sing the blues, all night long like he used to
The dust that Poncho bit down south, ended up in Lefty's mouth
The day they lay poor Poncho low, Lefty split for Ohio
Where he got the bread to go, there ain't nobody knows

All the Federales they say-ay
We could have had him any day
We only let him slip a-away
Out of kindness I suppose

The poets tell how Poncho fe-ell, and Lefty's livin' in cheap hote-els
The desert's quiet, Cleveland's cold, and so the story ends we're told
Poncho needs your prayers, it's true, save a few for Lefty too
He only did what he had to do, and now he's growin' old

All the Federales, they say
We could have had him any day
They only let him go so-o long
Out of kindness I suppose

A few grey Federales, they say-ay-ay
We could have had him any day
We only let him go so-o long
Out of kindness I suppose

Still Wishin' to Course

Who listens to the things that come into their heads these days?
I mean who really listens? Traffic, cellular traffic, advertisements, half-speak, inner-speak…

When I speak to you I speak to myself
I communicate with my self
I use you to peel me apart and I look deeper into myself.
I look into the parts I couldn’t see without you seeing me
Or what you thought was me, what I thought was me too.
But now you showed me the me I see is still underneath,
Still looking for me to find my self.

*

Baba O'Riley
The Who

Out here in the fields
I fought for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven

Don't cry
Don't raise your eye
It's only teenage wasteland

Sally, take my hand
Travel south crossland
Put out the fire
And don't look past my shoulder

The exodus is here
The happy ones are near
Let's get together
Before we get much older

Teenage wasteland
It's only teenage wasteland
Teenage wasteland, oh yeah
Teenage wasteland
They're all wasted

Karma Was Working Hard

Spurious
.chs

“…don’t you think?”
“I wasn’t listening.”
“What were you listening to?”
“I don’t know, my thoughts.”
“What did your thoughts sound like?”
“Scrambled.”
“Whisked?”
“Not really, slower.”
“Ah, churned.”
“Exactly.”

*

Stumbled on Grace
.chs

There’s a pace between the place
where we gather to liquefy thoughts
and the screen we see those thoughts upon.

Behind the veil of self-esteem and dreams we run away from
I found a stillness that is delicious, and if you’re still with me
I can show you.

It’s a little space between the gates
before the tear that keeps us scared
and inside a heart that’s true.

Feel the warmth spring from your spine
up your back and down in mine
back up through you, your heart and
mine too.

*

City of Dreams
by the Talking Heads

Right where you are standing
The dinosaurs did a dance
The indians told a story
Now it has come to pass

The Indians had a legend
The Spaniards lived for gold
The white man came and killed them
But they’re not really gone

We live in the city of dreams
We drive on the highway of fire
Should we awake
And find it gone
Remember this, our favorite town

Germany and Europe
And Southern U.S.A.
They made this little town here
That we live in to this day

The children of the white man
Saw Indians on TV
And heard about the legend
How their city was a dream

The Civil War is over
And numbers one and two
If we can live together
The dream it might come true

Underneath the concrete
The dream is still alive
A hundred million lifetimes
A world that never dies

We live in the city of dreams
We drive on the highway of fire
Should we awake
And find it gone
Remember this, our favorite town

*

Spainish harlem Incident
by Bob Dylan

Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem
Cannot hold you to its heat
Your temperature's too hot for taming
Your flaming feet are burning up the street.
I am homeless, come and take me
Into reach of your rattling drums
I got to know, babe, all about my fortune
Down along my restless palms.

Gypsy gal, you got me swallowed
And I have fallen far beneath
Your pearly eyes, so fast and slashing
And your flashing diamond teeth
The night is pitch black, come and make my
Pale face fit into place, ah, please
I got to know, babe, I am nearly drowning,
If it's you my lifelines trace

I been wondering all about me
Ever since I seen you there
On the cliffs of your wildcat charms I'm riding,
I know I'm 'round you but I don't know where
You have slayed me, you have made me,
I got to laugh halfway off my heels
I've got to know, babe, I have got to know, babe
So I can tell if I'm really real

Wonder Why We Ever Go Home?
Jimmy Buffet

Years grow shorter, not longer
The more you've been on your own
Feelin's for movin' grow stronger
So you wonder why you ever go home
Wonder why you ever go home

People are movin' so quickly
Humor's in need of repair
Same occupations and same obligations
They've really go nothing to share
Like drivin' around with no spare

River gets deeper not shallow


The further you move down the stream
Wonderin' if i can keep her
As i race to catch up with my dreams
How they shine and glitter and gleam

Years grow shorter, not longer
The more you've been on your own
Feelin's for movin' grow stronger
So you wonder why you ever go home
Wonder why you ever go home
You wonder why you ever go home

The Perfect High
by Shel Silverstein

There once was a boy named Gimmesome Roy. He was nothing like me or you.
'Cause laying back and getting high was all he cared to do.
As a kid, he sat in the cellar, sniffing airplane glue.
And then he smoked bananas -- which was then the thing to do.
He tried aspirin in Coca-Cola, breathed helium on the sly,
And his life was just one endless search to find that perfect high.
But grass just made him want to lay back and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night,
And the great things he wrote while he was stoned looked like shit in the morning light.
And speed just made him rap all day, reds just laid him back,
And Cocaine Rose was sweet to his nose, but the price nearly broke his back.
He tried PCP and THC, but they didn't quite do the trick,
And poppers nearly blew his heart and mushrooms made him sick.
Acid made him see the light, but he couldn't remember it long.
And hashish was just a little too weak, and smack was a lot too strong,
And Quaaludes made him stumble, and booze just made him cry,
Till he heard of a cat named Baba Fats who knew of the perfect high.

Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat who lived up in Nepal,
High on a craggy mountaintop, up a sheer and icy wall.
"But hell," says Roy, "I'm a healthy boy, and I'll crawl or climb or fly,
But I'll find that guru who'll give me the clue as to what's the perfect high."
So out and off goes Gimmesome Roy to the land that knows no time,
Up a trail no man could conquer to a cliff no man could climb.
For fourteen years he tries that cliff, then back down again he slides
Then sits -- and cries -- and climbs again, pursuing the perfect high.
He's grinding his teeth, he's coughing blood, he's aching and shaking and weak,
As starving and sore and bleeding and tore, he reaches the mountain peak.
And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf, and he snarls the snarl of a rat,
As there in perfect repose and wearing no clothes -- sits the godlike Baba Fats.

"What's happening, Fats?" says Roy with joy, "I've come to state my biz.
I hear you're hip to the perfect trip. Please tell me what it is.
For you can see," says Roy to he, "that I'm about to die,
So for my last ride, Fats, how can I achieve the perfect high?"
"Well, dog my cats!" says Baba Fats. "here's one more burnt-out soul,
Who's looking for some alchemist to turn his trip to gold.
But you won't find it in no dealer's stash, or on no druggist's shelf.
Son, if you would seek the perfect high -- find it in yourself."

"Why, you jive motherfucker!" screamed Gimmesome Roy, "I've climbed through rain and sleet,
I've lost three fingers off my hands and four toes off my feet!
I've braved the lair of the polar bear and tasted the maggot's kiss.
Now, you tell me the high is in myself. What kind of shit is this?
My ears 'fore they froze off," says Roy, "had heard all kind of crap,
But I didn't climb for fourteen years to listen to that sophomore rap.
And I didn't crawl up here to hear that the high is on the natch,
So you tell me where the real stuff is or I'll kill your guru ass!"

"Ok, OK," says Baba Fats, "you're forcing it out of me.
There is a land beyond the sun that's known as Zaboli.
A wretched land of stone and sand where snakes and buzzards scream,
And in this devil's garden blooms the mystic Tzu-Tzu tree.
And every ten years it blooms one flower as white as the Key West sky,
And he who eats of the Tzu-Tzu flower will know the perfect high.
For the rush comes on like a tidal wave and it hits like the blazing sun.
And the high, it lasts a lifetime and the down don't ever come.
But the Zaboli land is ruled by a giant who stands twelve cubits high.
With eyes of red in his hundred heads, he waits for the passers-by.
And you must slay the red-eyed giant, and swim the River of Slime,
Where the mucous beasts, they wait to feast on those who journey by.
And if you survive the giant and the beasts and swim that slimy sea,
There's a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth as she guards that Tzu-Tzu tree."
"To hell with your witches and giants," laughs Roy. "To hell with the beasts of the sea.
As long as the Tzu-Tzu flower blooms, some hope still blooms for me."
And with tears of joy in his snow-blind eye, Roy hands the guru a five,
Then back down the icy mountain he crawls, pursuing that perfect high.

"Well, that is that," says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone,
Facing another thousand years of talking to God alone.
"It seems, Lord", says Fats, "it's always the same, old men or bright-eyed youth,
It's always easier to sell them some shit than it is to give them the truth."