I ain’t crooked- though I follow the path of least resistance.

“It was much pleasanter at home,” thought poor Alice, “when one wasn’t always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn’t gone down the rabbit hole – and yet- and yet- it’s rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I’ll write one- but I’m grown up now,” she added in a sorrowful tone: at least there’s no room to grow up any more here.”
“But then,” thought Alice, “shall I never get any older than I am now?” That’ll be a comfort, one way – never to be an old woman – but then- always to have lessons to learn! Oh I shouldn’t like that!”
“Oh you foolish Alice!” she answered herself. “How can you learn lessons here? Why, there’s hardly room for you, and no room at all for lesson books!”
And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.

-from Alice in Wonderland


To my loyal blogship I apologize for the pause in updates but I’m in Big Sky, Montana with the family and up here it’s still fresh and clean and free of too many electronic communications. It’s hard to get to the internet. I’ll be back next week sometime with all sorts of fun tales and photos to update but until then I’m doing my best to puddle in the good stuff. More sporadic than usual will the updates be- but the content keeps swiffling. I’m reading Alice in Wonderland the original and I can’t begin to tell you how much sense it makes once you drop all the Disney façade. It’s a simple story about the self. About an I and all sorts of yous you seize?

It’s Mom and Winn, Lillian and Abel, Brooks and Mollie and me up here this year. As ever there’s always a different group with a different dynamic and this year is no exception.
I drove into Atlanta on Thursday to see friends, old and new, and Friday went to the Wesley’s for some good times with the old old friends especially. Uncle Tom cooked steaks and filled me in on some of his and Dad’s relationship and I soaked it in and did my best not to blurt out how much I just wanted to sit and listen to all the bullshit they used to give each other.
“I had a very special relationship with your father. We had a very powerful non-verbal understanding of the inherent beauty and glory of the world, and we could share that together without having to speak about it. I remember that time at Monumental Valley when we watched the sun sinking behind the peaks and shared the awesomeness of the landscape and its beauty and it was very special. We both knew how blessed we were and we appreciated it and we were able to share that appreciation through an unspoken connection with one another and it is something I am truly thankful for having in my own life.”
I realize that I function on one of too broad levels at any given moment of metaphysical time. I don’t know how to describe the difference in substance of these dimensions, perhaps tiers- one is reason and one is made of tears. One is the surface of off the cuff wit and day to day survival ration and coping skills, and the other is the ever present overwhelming ocean of emotion and non-linear understanding of myself in relation to God and the bigger picture and the little snapshots I see around me. It is the non-verbal perception of the underlying form of events in my own life, my karmic knots and my blessings that come together and stretch apart and float me back up to that top layer, the day to day interaction and the staying open for the reception of knew connections and understandings. The hard part when it comes to functioning though is that more than often during different stages of my life the branch and leaf level correlations and connections that come in a fluid moment, or in the presence of special people with special energies, or in the Presence of divine coincidences, seem to catch fire sometimes and at lightening speed illuminate some small portion of my time in terms of a moment in relation to the larger chunk of time in my life and even further in relation to the grander, much much grander boundless separation, or absence of separation, between my self and the Self, between you and I and between my perception of reality in relation to my knowledge of REALITY, of the ever present and active participation of the higher powers in Nature that form and birth and kill and rebirth for transcendence the potential of all that is and all the can be.
Are you in a bubble yet?
After dinner Tom pulled out the home video from our dual family RV trip across Texas and Arizona and New Mexico back in 86 I believe when I was 3 and emmie was less than one and brooks and jud were corresponding ages given their age today. I can’t begin to tell you what it feels like to see dad on a home video standing on top of our RV making a home video of his own, our own I guess. It even had my first s’more. Now imagine seeing a video of yourself eating your first s’more when you were three. What does that experience calibrate? Oh it’s all so relative I know, but for me, I’m sure you can understand, it was strange. I took a bite and did one or two turns in place, ahh how sweet. When we get back Brooks and I are planning to finish up the video because we didn’t get a chance to finish it because Jud and Emmie had a bunch of both their friends over and we partied by the fire down by the river. Glowsticks on strings were a big hit and if I could I’d post some of the pictures we took, but as it is I can’t and I’ll just have to layer your anticipation of the up and coming photos to be posted.
Gosh, reading Alice in Wonderland really bleeds into your sense of self and silly sloppy sentences, language and verbal verbs altogether really. It’s hard to separate, but its so fun to know you don’t have to because you are around the people who know you and understand you and want to share a part of their own vibe with you and all you want to do is share your vibe, I that is, with them, the you that is.


Also, Weeping Willows are amazing and I hope we get one at the farm soon.