in the fields

that's a huge mushroom

------

I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud
William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils,
Beside the lake, beneath the trees
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: -
A poet could not but be gay
In such a jocund company:
I gazed -and gazed -but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought.

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills
And dances with the daffodils.

rockets

Mojo Madness

We gave grandma a spectacular fireworks show the other night, we even made her a special viewing seat out of assorted glow sticks and her flamingos. I’d been saving the Mojo Madness (a very large and long lasting firework) for sometime now, and the arts and crafts idea to build grandma a viewing zone and let her rip seemed like what I’d been waiting for. The pictures don’t begin to do the lawn justice. It had rained all day and there was lost of moisture and fog in the air, which really seemed to add to the glow of the sticks. We set out a design on the front yard and when Grandma came out she got this look of astonishment on her face. “Did we get new lights?”
“No no grandma, its just the glow sticks.” Then Lacey and I let her crack one and she was astonished again.
“You mean each of those lights is one of these? Now I like these. I like that they glow for a long time! They don’t zoom by!” “Boy those sure do seem like fun, especially if you had a bunch of people over. Shoo yes!” We gave her a few to take to bed with her and she went and neatly laid them down on her bed, next to her duck. Her big soft duck. Every morning I wake up and look in there and see grandma’s bed, made perfectly, with the duck resting right in middle, kind of the bed.
In between fireworks I was blowing huge bubbles and grandma wanted to play so I let her play with the hand held bubble maker and she loved it. I mean she loved it. I was sort of trying to overkill and explanation of how it worked for her and she just said, “Here let me just fool with it for a bit.”
“Heck yes grandma! That’s all I needed to hear!”
“Boy that’s good exercise,” she says. I really need to start a traveling circus and go to the elderly homes around here. Young children and old adults seem to be my root demographic, haha. It’s everyone in the middle I’m trying to reach though. Refuse to grow up! Stay young forever! Come live in Never-neverland with me! I know Tinkerbell will! Whose else is comin’ with me? Come on, whose comin’ with me?
Suit yourself, home is where I’ll be.

All times and all places are my livelihood. -Zen Saying

high powered loafing

Space and Time! now i see it is true,
what I guess'd at,
What I guess'd when I loaf'd on the
grass,
What I guess'd while I lay alone in
my bed,
And again as I walk'd the beach under
the paling stars of the morning.

-walt whitman

boomwhackers

wolfman's brother
phish

Well it was many years ago now
But I really can't be sure
That's when it all began then
I heard that knock upon my door

And the wolfman's brother
The wolfman's brother
Came down on me

The telephone was ringing
That's when I handed it to Liz
She said, "This isn't who it would be,
If it wasn't who it is"
It's the wolfman's brother,
The wolfman's brother
Came down on me

So I might be on a side street
Or a stairway to the stars
I hear the high pitched cavitation
Of propellers from afar

It's the wolfman's brother...
Come down on me

So with meaningless excitement
And smooth atonal sound
It's like a cross between a hurricane
And a ship that's run aground

It's the wolfman's brother
Coming down on - coming down on me

Dave fixed the bridge, looks real nice. They bailed like hell today but still lost a few bales to the downpour that finally passed through. It wasn’t a matter of effort though. I guess, as a farmer, you live to learn that sometimes mother nature doesn’t always just work out the way you like it.

The Boy in the Bubble
Paul Simon

It was a slow day
And the sun was beating
On the soldiers by the side of the road
There was a bright light
A shattering of shop windows
The bomb in the baby carriage
Was wired to the radio
These are the days of miracle and wonder
This is the long distance call
The way the camera follows us in slo-mo
The way we look to us all
The way we look to a distant constellation
Thats dying in a corner of the sky
These are the days of miracle and wonder
And dont cry baby, dont cry
Dont cry

It was a dry wind
And it swept across the desert
And it curled into the circle of birth
And the dead sand
Falling on the children
The mothers and the fathers
And the automatic earth
These are the days of miracle and wonder
This is the long distance call
The way the camera follows us in slo-mo
The way we look to us all
The way we look to a distant constellation
Thats dying in a corner of the sky
These are the days of miracle and wonder
And dont cry baby, dont cry
Dont cry

Its a turn-around jump shot
Its everybody jump start
Its every generation throws a hero up the pop charts
Medicine is magical and magical is art
The boy in the bubble
And the baby with the baboon heart

And I believe
These are the days of lasers in the jungle
Lasers in the jungle somewhere
Staccato signals of constant information
A loose affiliation of millionaires
And billionaires and baby
These are the days of miracle and wonder
This is the long distance call
The way the camera follows us in slo-mo
The way we look to us all
The way we look to a distant constellation
Thats dying in a corner of the sky
These are the days of miracle and wonder
And dont cry baby, dont cry
Dont cry

sunset

full moon sunrise on the farm

Silent in the morning
Suspended in the trees
Lunch time comes youve found your voice
It brings me to my knees
The volume just increases
The resounding echoes grow
Till once again I bask in morning stillness, I love so

The target that I shoot for seems to move with every breath
I tighten all my arteries and make one last request
Divine creation hears me, and he squashes me with fear
I think that this exact thing happened to me, just last year

-phish

talking heads

Big and I'm bad
And I want you to know
I hang around
Where the grass is greener
Totally naked, baby
Totally nude
'Cause if I want to
Who's gonna stop me?
I'm absolutely free
Living in the trees
The birdies and the bees
'Cause I'm a nature boy
Locked up inside
You can't tell me where it's at
Open up, open up, open the door
Rocks and trees and physical culture
Some days you hide
I guess you wonder where you are
Nature boy, nature man, take me along
We got a life that's undiscovered
We threw it all away
Throw it all away
Rolling in every way
It's irresponsible
So civilized
I guess you wonder where you are
Nature boy, nature man, take me along
Deep in the woods we're undiscovered
I'm a little fish and you're the river
Living in a boat that's underwater
We can tip, tip, tip it over
You can push, push, make it better now
Wake your daddy up
It's a quarter to five
Our little boat
Has lost its rudder
Dive to the bottom
And we never come up
A polka party
For Bob and Martha
I'm absolutely free
Living in the trees
The birdies and the bees
'Cause I'm a nature boy
Think what you like
This is really where it's at
Open up, open up, open the door
We don't need clothes and we don't need money
So civilized
I guess you wonder where you are
Nature boy, nature man, take me along
Deep in the woods we're undiscovered

take out the glowstick time

Teo

Made it back to the farm today, the turkeys were in the field when I arrived early in the morning. The farmer was in the other fields cutting hay early in the morning too. Perhaps the turkeys know their time in the fields is coming to a pause because they won’t have the thick height of it to hide themselves. Bare back fields for a little while and I’ve come to notice the turkeys tend to disappear for a while when they can’t hide out in the open. Smart little buggers. .
This is the first cutting since Pop passed, it looks like a good one. Real thick and tall. Heady heady hay. Headiest hay in the valley, in the county, in the state even I bet! Haha! Kiddie ego swooped through it looks like, did you see him? I guess I let my “self” slip away there for a bit, on purpose, of course, on purpose. Its ok to get excited about your highest ideals in concrete experiential abstractions for yourself, you know? These things keep the day to day bearable, the ramble fresh.

Teo

beauty

It’s lightening but its not raining outside. It smells like cut grass and it’s a full moon tomorrow, its cloudy in between, and lightening. Silent lightening. Don’t forget about the silent lightening. All fields from the creek to the road are cut and bailed, and the big field from the orbs all the way to the house hasn’t been touched yet. They cut the field in front of the house, across the driveway but house side of the creek, today- and so its in those long rows that go all the way across the field and then turn around and go all the way back. All the while staying in your one little “row.” it’s a good thing to do and think of the Labyrinth while you do it. The other option is to walk all the way, and I mean all the way around the edge of the field, and then on the second loop take one step towards the center and walk all the way, all the way around again, one step down again, rinse, lather and repeat. Or you can go pick up rocks. That’s a really good one too. Faith can move a mountain, someone told me that.

faith full

so we went and saw old faithful explode, had great timing, and then almost just as it finished erupting it began to hail. it was like old faithful and the clouds were playing toss. it was great.

----

You can climb the highest mountain
Touch the moon and stars above
But Old Faithful's just a fountain
Compared to the glory of true love

time capsule balloons that propel themselves as they exhale their temporary existence

So I have some suttle psyche gold for all you guys out there. You know who I’m talking about. Since I’m on Pop’s computer and typing documents I stumbled across a few Pop had written in his Documents folder. I’ll add two of them below in their entirety.

note the green balloon and its mechanisms. pop taught physics, lilian and abel appreciated a single balloon and had more fun with it in more different ways than i thought were possible. a single balloon. enlightenemnent level joy froma single balloon. we need to grow younger folks, we'rre headed the wrong way. the only problem was that this (as seen)balloon toy squeled when it flew. brooks jimmy rigged the whistle loose though. the sun still set.

now to pop...

---1---

OBSERVATIONS, CONCLUSIONS AND OPINIONS OF AN OCTOGENERAION:
2/17/04
The middle class working people of our country are the backbone of our society and they get “shafted” from all sides. We no longer have a working democracy in the USA. The so called democracy has degenerated into GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLE, BY THE SPECIAL INTEREST, FOR THE SPECIAL INTEREST.
Under the Bush and Republican congress everything that is done in Washington is done for the benefit of the big donators to the political campaigns of the politicians
(note: Bush has a 200 million dollar bribe to repay).This is not corruption on Bush’s part but is the result of our political system.
Bush 1 is a Statesman and a great American. Bush 2 is simply a politician who would like to be re-elected for a second term.

John F. Suttle
Mountain Meadows Farm
PO box 855
Columbiana, AL 35051



---2---

Sample document for learning recall procedure mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

buck up buffalo

what does a bison think about watching a bison burger cook?

let's get some pictures posted and we'll get to the wit later. i got back to the farm today and realized that even though my computer is at apple headquarters i can run the internet through pop's computer. SNAP! so though its slow and all, it works and the farm is now officially linked with the web. they started cutting the hay yesterday i guess so they've been out there get down on the tractors and its a treat to watch. the turkies came out this morning in the field opposite the one they were cutting- i guess they figure their days of being protected by the tall tall hay are over. the pecking order is disrupted.

----

these photos are winn going out to meet lilian and abel coming down from the mountian. they speak volumes if you ask me

pass it on

Because it may be a while I am going to leave you with the absolute truth to chew on for a while. What is coming next is the core of self evident truth, my notes from a David Hawkins lecture I went to. If you study these things and bounce them around your most sensitive truth sensors, then relate these things to your everyday living experience, I assure you it will bring you at least a pinch of peace of mind, most likely a whole heap. How much depends on how much you give it. Give it a lot; it will give you more back.

David Hawkins notes I believe…

There is an absolute to which everything is compared, this is Divinity, and you can picture it as a field of infinite power. The field is non-linear because causality doesn’t exist, it is merely an illusion.

What causes us to perceive phenomena is our location in the field.

This indicates that even though we may not be in our body we are located centrally somewhere on some plane of existence to which everything else is compared.

The spiritual will, the Intent is what creates potentiality in the Field, and then the power of the field turns the potentiality into actuality.

Be that which is lovingness.
All that’s needed is to be as loving as possible. You don’t have to hate vanilla in order to love chocolate. You don’t have to hate sin, just love virtue.

Out of oblivion you suddenly come into existence. It’s annoying to exist, then instantly the fear of non-existence.

That which I Am existed prior to all universes.

All that stands in the way of the Presence of the Infinite is the illusion of the little self.

Had some difficulty containing a sense of self in this world.

Sitting in class the sense of personal I disappeared into Hisness.

Obsessed with the Truth and scared of Sin.

It isn’t so much that you make things happen, it’s that you make things not happen. You’re not dancing, you’re not not dancing.


How did the ego arise? What is it?
The reason you can’t get rid of it is because you repressed it so you don’t own it anymore. Life began when the universal field interacted with matter. Consciousness becomes life when it meets matter.
Life is spawned in an unfriendly environment so it’s programmed for survival.
When life emerges at its primal form it has the capacity for getting energy, so it goes out and has to get energy.

If we were all colored green we wouldn’t need anything, we would be sinless. Wouldn’t need anything from out there.

The first thing that experiences that it is is bacteria.

Below 200 you see the basic innocence of consciousness because they don’t have control.

All men choose only the good
Therefore there is no evil
They only think what’s good in the moment
Which isn’t really good.
“forgive them father for they know not what they do.”


The Principal of Intention

To set up ego with sin and vilification is the downside of the Gothic Christian Era

The Ego does what it has to do because it thinks it needs to do that to survive. So how we solve it is with ACCEPTANCE instead of labeling it and then repressing it because of guilt. 85% of people in the world are incapable of telling the truth.

We have equality by virtue of the divinity of the source of all, our Creator.

Evolution is not sequential; sequential is how we witness.

Nothing has any cause, there is no cause.

There is no event to explain because there is only a continuum.

Every thought arises out of Nothing, therefore it’s not caused by anything.

A > B > C > D
^ ^ ^ ^

you don’t look between thoughts for glimpses of eternity. The focus should be on the substratum, on the nothingness out of which all things come.

Our mind’s are 99% quiet and we’re hypnotized by the 1%

Out of silent nothingness arises and you grasp at it

When you look at it just prior to thought you catch it there.

Caught it because I wan’ looking for it.
The Connection

Transcend notions of perpetrator and victim

Comparing calibrated levels of consciousness is in comparison to the Absolute Divinity.

Content Field Context

Humility comes with the capacity to fence of denial, the courage and integrity to state things as they are.

The wise transcend the ize and the seduction of thoughts and images to hypnotize.

Lower mind vs. higher mind

Mentalize, not think
Rhetoric is mentation, not thinking

• Aristotle said there is the integrity of the speaker, the integrity of the message, the integrity of the Audience

The world is not rational

Unconsciously everyone knows when they’re being lied to

Truth has power
Rhetoric looks pretty

To think dualistically you have to split the one into the dual; this and the other.

Darkness is not the Absence of light, it is the Absence.

Truth
The Absence of Truth

Cold isn’t the opposite of hot, it’s the Absence

Eventually we have to let go of the this and that, me and you.


The Progressive Fields of Revelation

Form
Register
Recognition
Watcher/experiencer
Awareness
Observer/witness
Light of Consciousness
Manifest as Allness/Self
Unmanifest (Godhead)

To be with the field
Has an immediate reward

You cannot stay within the same paradigm.

You’re either anticipating the future or in fear of the past, as long as you live on the crest of now you don’t have any problems.

It’s not possible to have a problem unless you’re manufacturing it yourself.

Living in the reality of the instant
So you live as the field and not the content of the field

If you don’t resist the wave
You can stay on the edge of the knife.

Better than meditation is contemplation because you identify with the Field.

As the ego collapses it’s like tissue in a fire.

Below 200 people don’t have individual karmas, “group think”

Above 200
Kundalini energy comes
Instead of seeing content you see wholes

Above 200 the person has personal karma

The Spiritual Will is what sets our enlightenment
The Etheric Brain
This energy effects our experience of the world

Spiritual commitment instantly shift
This commitment is a surrender
Admit mistakes, make them right
This instantly changes the whole world
Information comes in differently
You become a different type of being

Kundalini energy
The miraculous begins to happen all around you, but of her own accord.

We swoop together.
We are all destined for enlightenment

Does feeling like God make you God?

Raise the level of the sea

Accept that the power is within myself.
Love in honest

You go through a high pass and you can see who’s been there. The temptation of silent knowingness.

All power is yours, own it, you can exploit anyone

Who would want all this power over people? Because of our karma we simultaneously serve each other, we are karmically drawn to people who can help us.

The distribution of Aids is the consequence of an energy field. The field pulls things to it.

-to commit yourself to a premise changes everything. You pick up what goes with that field. Count your blessings. Leave the world a little bit better than you found it.

The ego feeds of negativity because it has no energy of its own.

Passivity invites aggression

Own the power then feel free to love

There needs to be a cultural commitment to integrity.

Calmness, recontextualizing
Recontextualize, recontextualize

Healthy self attention

If you make a covenant with me to tell the truth, to not judge, to help each other be happy, I’ll make that commitment. But if we’re just going to get by and fuel the motions, I need to step away and pull my self together.
We can rebirth this thing.

How can I grow?
Switch to making statements instead of only asking questions.

Truth is tough to take.

I can no longer cater to your positionality.

Incredible how fast the mind changes when a new conviction comes into place.

Own the power
I own the power to be happy

It’s arrogant to speak to people outside of their level

The application of consciousness research is that in the moment of truth is instant peace.

Truth trumps goodness.

Power comes from that which you are,
Not what you say and do.
Be what I am.

The mind isn’t thinking anything.

The way to God is through devotion, surrender to God.

You make your life a meditation by sanctifying it to God.

The experience in yin not yang.

Be the field, make my life a prayer
Stop resisting
You become the prayer
You become the mudra
“to thee, oh lord, do I lay down my life out of devotion.”

You surrender your desire to control
You stop worrying about pleasing everybody
Stop being a slave to pleasing everyone

You’ve got choice but that’s different than control

Stop controlling
It’s a lifestyle, a way of being
The contemplative lifestyle is, in a way, grace
It’s a graciousness
Live as though God were a guest in your life
How would you live your life if God’s grace was always intuitive grace

Everything lays down its life for the life above it

Always ask “in the name of the highest good…”

I was hurt so I sunk down into my defensive self
I recommit myself to the health of all life
The beauty of all things.

I ain’t crooked- though I follow the path of least resistance.

“It was much pleasanter at home,” thought poor Alice, “when one wasn’t always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn’t gone down the rabbit hole – and yet- and yet- it’s rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I’ll write one- but I’m grown up now,” she added in a sorrowful tone: at least there’s no room to grow up any more here.”
“But then,” thought Alice, “shall I never get any older than I am now?” That’ll be a comfort, one way – never to be an old woman – but then- always to have lessons to learn! Oh I shouldn’t like that!”
“Oh you foolish Alice!” she answered herself. “How can you learn lessons here? Why, there’s hardly room for you, and no room at all for lesson books!”
And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.

-from Alice in Wonderland


To my loyal blogship I apologize for the pause in updates but I’m in Big Sky, Montana with the family and up here it’s still fresh and clean and free of too many electronic communications. It’s hard to get to the internet. I’ll be back next week sometime with all sorts of fun tales and photos to update but until then I’m doing my best to puddle in the good stuff. More sporadic than usual will the updates be- but the content keeps swiffling. I’m reading Alice in Wonderland the original and I can’t begin to tell you how much sense it makes once you drop all the Disney façade. It’s a simple story about the self. About an I and all sorts of yous you seize?

It’s Mom and Winn, Lillian and Abel, Brooks and Mollie and me up here this year. As ever there’s always a different group with a different dynamic and this year is no exception.
I drove into Atlanta on Thursday to see friends, old and new, and Friday went to the Wesley’s for some good times with the old old friends especially. Uncle Tom cooked steaks and filled me in on some of his and Dad’s relationship and I soaked it in and did my best not to blurt out how much I just wanted to sit and listen to all the bullshit they used to give each other.
“I had a very special relationship with your father. We had a very powerful non-verbal understanding of the inherent beauty and glory of the world, and we could share that together without having to speak about it. I remember that time at Monumental Valley when we watched the sun sinking behind the peaks and shared the awesomeness of the landscape and its beauty and it was very special. We both knew how blessed we were and we appreciated it and we were able to share that appreciation through an unspoken connection with one another and it is something I am truly thankful for having in my own life.”
I realize that I function on one of too broad levels at any given moment of metaphysical time. I don’t know how to describe the difference in substance of these dimensions, perhaps tiers- one is reason and one is made of tears. One is the surface of off the cuff wit and day to day survival ration and coping skills, and the other is the ever present overwhelming ocean of emotion and non-linear understanding of myself in relation to God and the bigger picture and the little snapshots I see around me. It is the non-verbal perception of the underlying form of events in my own life, my karmic knots and my blessings that come together and stretch apart and float me back up to that top layer, the day to day interaction and the staying open for the reception of knew connections and understandings. The hard part when it comes to functioning though is that more than often during different stages of my life the branch and leaf level correlations and connections that come in a fluid moment, or in the presence of special people with special energies, or in the Presence of divine coincidences, seem to catch fire sometimes and at lightening speed illuminate some small portion of my time in terms of a moment in relation to the larger chunk of time in my life and even further in relation to the grander, much much grander boundless separation, or absence of separation, between my self and the Self, between you and I and between my perception of reality in relation to my knowledge of REALITY, of the ever present and active participation of the higher powers in Nature that form and birth and kill and rebirth for transcendence the potential of all that is and all the can be.
Are you in a bubble yet?
After dinner Tom pulled out the home video from our dual family RV trip across Texas and Arizona and New Mexico back in 86 I believe when I was 3 and emmie was less than one and brooks and jud were corresponding ages given their age today. I can’t begin to tell you what it feels like to see dad on a home video standing on top of our RV making a home video of his own, our own I guess. It even had my first s’more. Now imagine seeing a video of yourself eating your first s’more when you were three. What does that experience calibrate? Oh it’s all so relative I know, but for me, I’m sure you can understand, it was strange. I took a bite and did one or two turns in place, ahh how sweet. When we get back Brooks and I are planning to finish up the video because we didn’t get a chance to finish it because Jud and Emmie had a bunch of both their friends over and we partied by the fire down by the river. Glowsticks on strings were a big hit and if I could I’d post some of the pictures we took, but as it is I can’t and I’ll just have to layer your anticipation of the up and coming photos to be posted.
Gosh, reading Alice in Wonderland really bleeds into your sense of self and silly sloppy sentences, language and verbal verbs altogether really. It’s hard to separate, but its so fun to know you don’t have to because you are around the people who know you and understand you and want to share a part of their own vibe with you and all you want to do is share your vibe, I that is, with them, the you that is.


Also, Weeping Willows are amazing and I hope we get one at the farm soon.

The more you run away from it the faster it catches up with you. The day you learn to stare it in the face is the day it loses its power.

what would elvis read?

well this was his desk, who knew he was such a spiritualist? well he was the king, that makes sense. the other book on his desk was "Gods from Outter Space"