derka derka all covered with snow

i want to explode out of my shoes and then out of my socks and then out my skin and spill into the great wide vastness of the alabama sky. i want to run out of myself and find myself standing still, everywhere, when i do. i want to go dancing with the passionate source of all that i crave and grind for and i don't want to begin doing it because i don't want to end doing it and i want to find myself having always done it anyways, like i know i have been, and always and forever more doing it still. what do you want? let's go dancing...

there WAS a factory, but now...

(Nothing But) Flowers
talking heads

Here we stand
Like an Adam and an Eve
Waterfalls
The Garden of Eden
Two fools in love
So beautiful and strong
The birds in the trees
Are smiling upon them
From the age of the dinosaurs
Cars have run on gasoline
Where, where have they gone?
Now, it's nothing but flowers

There was a factory
Now there are mountains and rivers
you got it, you got it

We caught a rattlesnake
Now we got something for dinner
we got it, we got it

There was a shopping mall
Now it's all covered with flowers
you've got it, you've got it

If this is paradise
I wish I had a lawnmower
you've got it, you've got it

Years ago
I was an angry young man
I'd pretend
That I was a billboard
Standing tall
By the side of the road
I fell in love
With a beautiful highway
This used to be real estate
Now it's only fields and trees
Where, where is the town
Now, it's nothing but flowers
The highways and cars
Were sacrificed for agriculture
I thought that we'd start over
But I guess I was wrong

Once there were parking lots
Now it's a peaceful oasis
you got it, you got it

This was a Pizza Hut
Now it's all covered with daisies
you got it, you got it

I miss the honky tonks,
Dairy Queens, and 7-Elevens
you got it, you got it

And as things fell apart
Nobody paid much attention
you got it, you got it

I dream of cherry pies,
Candy bars, and chocolate chip cookies
you got it, you got it

We used to microwave
Now we just eat nuts and berries
you got it, you got it

This was a discount store,
Now it's turned into a cornfield
you got it, you got it

Don't leave me stranded here
I can't get used to this lifestyle

fear factory

Nobody Tole Me
by John Lennon

Everybody's talking and no one says a word

Everybody's making love and no one really cares

There's nazis in the bathroom just below the stairs.
Always something happening and nothing going on

There's always something happening cooking and nothing in the pot

They're starving back in China so finish what you got.
They're starving back in China so finish what you got.
Nobody told me there'd be days like these

Nobody told me there'd be days like these

Nobody told me there'd be days like these

Strange days indeed
strange days indeed.
Everybody's runnin' and no one makes a move

Everyone's a winner
and no one seems to lose.
There's a little yellow idol to the north of Katmandu.
Everybody's flying and no one leaves the ground

Everybody's crying and no one makes a sound.
There's a place for us in movies you just gotta stay around.

Nobody told me there'd be days like these

Nobody told me there'd be days like these

Nobody told me there'd be days like these

Strange days indeed
most peculiar
Mama.
Everybody's smoking and no one's getting high

Everybody's flying and never touch the sky

There's Ufo's over New York and I ain't too surprised.
Nobody told me there'd be days like these

Nobody told me there'd be days like these

Nobody told me there'd be days like these

Strange days indeed
most peculiar. Mama.

Doin' That Rag
the Grateful Dead

Da da da da da da da da da da da

Sittin in Mangrove valley chasing light beams
Everything wanders from baby to Z
Baby Baby pretty it up on Tuesday Old like a rum-drinking demon at tea.
Baby Baby tell me what's the matter, what, what tell me what's your why how?
Tell me why will you never come home
Tell me what's your reason, if you've got a good one.

Everywhere I go, the people all know Everyone's doin' that rag.
Everywhere I go, the people all know Everyone's doin' that rag.

Take my line, go fishin' for a Tuesday,
Maybe take my supper, eat it down by the sea.
Gave my baby twenty or forty good reasons,
Couldn't find any better ones in the morning at three.

The rain gonna come, but the rain gonna go y'know.
Steppin' off sharply from the rank and file.
Awful cold and dark like a dungeon
Maybe get a little bit darker before the day.

Hipsters, Tripsters, real cool chicksters, Everyone's doin' that rag.
Hipsters, Tripsters, true cool chicksters, Everyone's doin' that rag.

You needn't gild the lily, offer jewels to the sunset.
No one is watchin' or standin' in your shoes.
Wash your lonely feet in the river in the morning,
Everything promised is delivered to you.

Don't neglect to pick up what your share is,
All the winter birds are winging home now.
Hey love go, and look around you,
Nothing out there you haven't seen before now.

Wading in the water you never get wet,
If you keep on doin' that rag.
Wading in the water and you never get wet,
If you keep on doin' that rag.

One eyed jacks and the deuces are wild
And the aces are crawlin' up and down your sleeve.
Come back here baby Louise
And tell me the name of the game that you play.

Is it All Fall Down? Is it All Go Under?
Is it All Fall Down? Is it All Go Under?
Is it All Fall Down? Is it All Go Under?
Is it All Fall Down? Is it All Go Under?
Is it All Fall Down? Is it All Go Under?
Is it All Fall Down? Is it All Go Under?
Is it All Fall Down? Is it All Go Under?
Is it All Fall Down? Is it All Go Under?
Is it All Fall Down? Is it All Go Under?

kella' kella' kella'

04/08/06 Fillmore Auditorium Denver, CO
I (Dave Schools and Jerry Joseph Almost Acoustic): Keller sat in on drum machine and djembe after Jerry said "We asked Keller if we could borrow his drum machine and he said 'No.' So we got the next best thing."
II (Grateful Grass with Keller, Jeff Austin from YMSB, and Keith Moseley from SCI):One More Saturday Night, Mississippi Half Step Uptown Toodleloo, Eyes Of The World> Resume Man (SCI), Candyman, Loose Lucy, Black Peter, St. Stephen, Casey Jones, Brown Eyed Women, New Horizons (YMSB), Bird Song, Crater (KW), Scarlet Begonias> Fire On The Mountain
III (Keller solo): Sheebs> Breathe> Loop> Breathe, Zilla> Kinky Reggae*> Loop> Skitso> Swing**> Gate Crashers Suck, Best Feeling> Post Best Feeling Loop, Conservative Christian, Right Wing Republican, Straight White American Males^> Nobody Told Me@> Loop> Tribe, Love Handles> Vocal Loop, Vanilla Ice Cream (on piano)$> Loop> Horny Horns> Band Intros> Loop
E: Contact (on upright Bass)#> Celebrate Your Youth
* Bob Marley
** Ani Difranco
^ Todd Snyder
@ John Lennon
$ Stephen Lynch
# Phish

04/09/06 Sunsation at Copper Mountain Ski Resort Copper Mountain, CO
I: Thin Mint> Freakshow*> Tumbleweed**, Loop> Up In My Cadillac> Loop> Sing For My Dinner> Victory Song> Frankenstein#, Above The Thunder, In The Kingdom%, Loop> Mary Jane's Last Breakdown@> 221", Loop> ?, Freeker By The Speaker> Band Intro> Freeker Reprise
E: Loop> Ay Oh Chant
* Ani Difranco
** Afroman
# Edgar Winters Group
% Hot Tuna
@ Tom Petty

...Just got back from Denver. A very well rounded road trip. Planned just enough, things worked out a little bit better than just enough, thoughts were clean and pure, saw old friends, had synergetic experiences throughout, saw beautiful beautiful country, did it all safely and made it back for work. Saw two shows, both unique in that the Fillmore was a gathering of friends and the second show was with Lance and Uncle Jim at the base of Copper Ski Mountain during the day. Great great stuff, thank you holy spirit for this adventure. You filled it up yet again.

I feel as if I walked up on top of a large hill this weekend and got a good look around me for the first time since I started working at Deer Valley, since I started going on top of a mountain everyday literally. The experience has been great but the season is coming to an end and it’s easy to burn out when you’re a lift operator. There’s only so much mirth one can muster up for so little, and now that the snow isn’t that great there’s even less of an incentive. I live the bonus driven life and spring is my next bonus, so for now I’m rich rich man…

naive as a defense

Prompts!

Where go I get the gumption to break out of this thing again? Its clearly time but I can’t seem to escape myself and all my clinging to lesser pleasures. But not to the lessest of pleasures by any means, so I do pretty well all things considered, but I’m still praying for salvation like the rest of us. Most of us. What most of us used to do. Where do you live? What do you do?
It’s so silly the way we try to capture the infiniteness of things in the finite pathetic humor of represented words. Sounds maybe, but words, especially written, are traps at best. Not at best, there I go trapping myself again, prompts would be the ideal use for words. Words are prompts, certain words are certain types of prompts.
We crashed I burned but then I learned to keep my eyes on you. Haha the way they pull it all together. Ain’t that the way we pull it all together? The sipper locking clasping teeth of this life we lead in this trembling freedom of uncertainty and doubt and half steps and whole steps an over steps. I need to just lay it all out I suppose. What’s the appealing factor?

“Mini motifs of invisible love
Flow into me baby flow into me”

That’s a nice color.



Isn’t it crazy god seems to talk to the atheists the most?

osmosis!

Life’s so easy to blur when you’re always busy. It seems to be we go through phases of yin and yang, aggressive undertakings and then reflective solace. Somewhere in between these two I always find myself treading, but trying to tread as lightly and with as little movement as possible. I don’t tread lightly for others though, it’s just that I find it easy to dissolve when I’m still.

boogie

It’s an amazing thing to lose yourself daily. To make a living out of losing yourself . That can be done right? It’s not impossible to live a life losing yourself to find yourself right? I’ve met enough who think it’s true I’ve got no reason to doubt myself. Haha it’s so funny the way things work out for people who never expect it. I expected it though. I expected it for you. Doesn’t it feel good to get something expected for you?

what is a pirate?

Old pirates, yes, they rob I;
Sold I to the merchant ships,
Minutes after they took I
From the bottomless pit.
But my hand was made strong
By the 'and of the Almighty.
We forward in this generation
Triumphantly.
Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look? Ooh!
Some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fullfil the book.

Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs;
Redemption songs.

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our mind.
Wo! Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them-a can-a stop-a the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look?
Yes, some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fullfil the book.
Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever had:
Redemption songs -
All I ever had:
Redemption songs:
These songs of freedom,
Songs of freedom.

Redemption Song
Bob Marley
----------------


2 time 3 is six
six times three is 18
and the eighteenth letter in the alphabet in ARRRRRRR, matey!

Ruby

Let Me Be
Xavier Rudd

Oh oh, Let me be now
Hmm hmm, let me because
I want to be free now
Oh oh, free to see, yeah well
Want to walk away, oh oh
Let me feel my feet
Let me be, free

Time and time and time we see these
Acts against humanity, well,
Each for each and each will be then
Shed blood for what they each believe, well
On and on and on we go well,
Some will you see and, some won't be
True for you and truth will lead you
To a sense of, well now, peace

Let me be now
Hmm hmm, let me because
I want to be free now,
Oh oh, free to see, yeah well
Want to walk away, oh oh
Let me feel my feet
Let me be, free

Time and time and time we see these
Acts against humanity, well
Each for each and each will be then
Shed blood for what they each believe, well
On and on and on we go well
Some will you see and, some won't be
True for you and truth will lead you
To a sense of,well now, peace

Let me be now

Hmm hmm, let me because
I want to be free now
Oh oh, free to see, yeah well
Want to walk away, oh oh
Let me feel my feet
Let me be, free

(Solo)

Wanna be wanna see would you let me go
Let me be now, hmm hmm, let me be
Wanna be wanna see would you let me go
Let me be now, hmm hmm, let me be-cause
I wanna be free
Oh, i wanna be free
Yeah I said, I said, I said, I said
Free free now, free to see
Oh, cos I, wanna be free

what kind of wrapping paper does God wrap lessons in?

Phish
Friday


I crashed, I burned
But then I learned
To keep my eye on you
You always say
You'll lead the way
But then you never do

I slowed, I swerved
But lost my nerve
And quickly looked away
When I looked back
The day was black
Then I heard you say

Why is the sun hot?
Why does it rain?
Why is there danger and
Why is there pain?
Why can't the burden
we carry go away?
And why isn't it Friday today?

Your lack of trust
Is hardly just
So do as you've been told
Please follow me
Into the sea
Don't worry if it's cold

I knew right then
My chance again
Had quickly slipped away
I crash I cry
I burn but I
Still follow anyway

Why is the sea cool?
Why is it blue?
Why do I stay here?
Why is it you
Notice the danger
But don't help in any way?
Why isn't it Friday today?

ba-loooon

Office Space Redefined

Roundabout
Yes

I’ll be the round about
The words will make you out ’n’ out
You change the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and
In and out the valley

The muses dance and sing
They make the children really ring
I spend the day your way
Call it morning driving thru the sound and
In and out the valley

In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky and they
Stand there
One mile over we’ll be there and we’ll see
You
Ten true summers we’ll be there and
Laughing too
Twenty four before my love you’ll see I’ll be
There with you

I will remember you
Your silhouette will charge the view
Of distance atmosphere
Call it morning driving thru the sound and
Even in the valley

Along the drifting cloud the eagle searching
Down on the land
Catching the swirling wind the sailor sees
The rim of the land
The eagle’s dancing wings create as weather
Spins out of hand
Go closer hold the land feel partly no more
Than grains of sand
We stand to lose all time a thousand answers
By in our hand
Next to your deeper fears we stand
Surrounded by a million years

I’ll be the roundabout
The words will make you out ’n’ out
I’ll be the roundabout
The words will make you out ’n’ out

In and around the lake
Mountains come out of the sky and they
Stand there
One mile over we’ll be there and we’ll see
You
Ten true summers we’ll be there and
Laughing too
Twenty four before my love you’ll see I’ll be
There with you

australian valentine's day

Me: Do you celebrate Valentines Day in Australia?
Emma: Yeah of course we do… it means something different though, it’s a time for the aboriginals to reflect on the dream time. So we exchange gifts usually a gum leaf to the ones we love! Usually the aboriginals will sit around a camp fire slowly toasting the gum leafs getting high off the aroma that penetrates the atmosphere!
Me: What’s a gum leaf?
Emma: It’s what koalas eat
Me: What sound does a koala make?
Emma: koala sound

this mortal coil

So I’m in the ill-fated A4 coming down a snowy mountain pass in Park City, Utah on Saturday, right. Jeff and I had just picked up two friends to go back down the mountain to see a free G Love and Special Sauce with Michael Franti and Spearhead show, after work, at the base of the ski mountain. It’s been snowing all day, the roads are atrocious, and coming down around a blind turn the brakes lock, car goes into an accelerating skid because of gravity, and we cream into a maroon Lincoln Navigator that’s coming around the bend up the mountain. It’s pretty much a slow motion head on collision, except we weren’t going slow it just felt that way because we were skidding for so long with no way to get out of the way, and then kissed into the snow bank. Thank God the snow bank was there or else we’d be over the ledge and tumbling down down down a mountainside. Anyways, at this point it would just be a shitty story I don’t have to look into much further, but from here other things started to come to light.
I was really shaken up at the time and so didn’t really notice, but the other car was a “Utah Limousine” taking Leah Thompson to the place she was staying up on the mountain in this private real estate area. That’s right, the Leah Thompson (Back to the Future, Denise the Menace, Caroline in the City, etc.) Jeff gave her a cigarette but I was in no mood for celebrity watching and didn’t think about it at all. The Sundance Film Festival is in town right now so it seemed almost fitting that I skid into a celebrity. Then to literally put salt in the wound, right after the crash the salt truck drives by flinging salt on the road in hopes of preventing the NEXT accident, as well as saving their own ass. But anyways, life is what we make of it right?
We had just picked up Lizzie and Madison when Lizzie’s father, John Reinhard (sp?) came driving by the accident and stopped to get out and make sure we were ok. He told the cop we were with him and told us to come back up to the house after the wrecker came to tow the car away, so we did. The cops couldn’t get over the fact it was Leah Thompson and I wanted to smack them for being so childish, but it wasn’t really on my priority list. So the wrecker comes, Jeff and I are freezing from standing in the snow, and the cop takes us up to one of the most incredible houses I’ve ever seen, right on the side of the mountain, and Mr. Reinhard pours us a glass of scotch and tells us to take our shows off and relax. He’s having company for the night but would like nothing more than to have us stay, so we do, because, well, we don’t have a car anyways. Kerry the live in chef takes care of us and precedes to cook the most fantastic meal ever while we visit with the visitors and fill them in on what happened, our stories, how we got here, where we want to go from here, etc.
Mr. Reinhard owns one of the world’s largest advertising companies and is responsible for the Hamburglar as we as the “two all beef patties, special sauce…” jingle we all know. That was him, he coined that. His friend is president of Sesame Street I believe and when we told him we had graduated from SMU he chuckled and said he’s actually giving a lecture there in three weeks. Haha, small world. There was a filmmaker named Jessica Cole there as well and she chuckled of course, because my name is Cole. “We’re reciprocal,” I told her. I told them about the music festival, they said their son produces music festivals. In fact, on their way up to the Reinhard’s when they passed my car in the snow bank they had just been coming from hanging out with Dave Matthews, whoever that is.
So despite the shitty car situation there was a powerful silver lining to the whole day. Reinhard is friends with Tom Wolfe to, and said he’s waiting for my book, so all I’ve got to do is get it to him for an editing session. He even said he’s buy a copy. In a world of teambuilding sometimes it takes something like an imminent crash into a car to wake us up and converge us with things. Such a day. One of those days where when you wake up you couldn’t possible conceive of what was going to transpire before you go to sleep again. We gave the friends lift passes the next morning and they gave us a stack of Sundance film tickets. Then their driver, Kevin, took us down the mountain about 11:30pm and we discovered we share the same musical tastes. In fact, he know String Cheese so well they used to sleep on his couch when they played the ski bar circuit back in the day before they got so popular. People, just people who know people and meet other people and share things. People.

Following through with the perspective of things, last night my dear Grandmother, Mama Nell, passed on. When I awoke this morning all I could think of was Peter Pan when he said, “to die would be a great adventure,” and I felt excited for Mama Nell to be able to go be herself again. Her body had become a trap, her dementia made communicating very hard, but her soul was vibrant and flashed in her eyes and now it is free. I am sad but I love her and death is not a bad thing. Death is the best thing in fact, it’s only hard for those of us left living. God Bless you mama Nell, you have had a wonderful life and you brought the Dawn to us and I thank you thank you thank you for everything. I love you. I’m glad you’re free to inspire me through my fingertips and my heart now in a way you never could before, trapped in that mortal coil. Tell papa Joe hello for me, and dad too, I know they’re near now. I’m glad you’re reunited, have a blast in the bardos, and if there‘s anything you want to leak back to me I’ll be listening for it. Your time has come, now you’re free to run, enjoy what you’ve been blessed with, you earned it for a lifetime.


Really puts a stupid car into perspective doesn’t it? Things are only things, but life is life. Sweet blessed life. Maybe my body is a metaphorical car...perhaps i'm free too?


-two songs-

Who am I?
SCI

Through my senses, I'm reliving childhood memories from my past
But, in an instant it is over, fading quickly from my mind
In the photo with piano, I see a man whose time has gone
I knew him only for a moment, but in his spirit I live on

What I was I am
It all comes 'round again
And who I used to be
Is still a part of me

An early morning, cold December, a family gathered all around
Taken back what I was given, open grave site, frozen ground
I see my hands, they are my father's, time has worn my fingers thin
Humor, laughter, ever after, my heart still remembers him

What I was I am
It all comes 'round again
Who he used to be
Is still a part of me

All the moments seldom last
And memories they fade so fast
I turn away and life has passed

Who Am I?

------------------

Joyful Sound
SCI

Take time to give thanks
Make time to be given
I’m going to stop and think twice
About the way that I'm living
Did I say a kind word?
Am I proud of my actions?
You know a job well done
Gives me satisfaction
Can I earn your trust?
Your love and affection?
Just one step at a time
In the right direction
Going to aim for the sky
Keep my feet on the ground
Raise my voice to the heavens
Make a joyful sound

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Naaaaaaa....
Make a joyful sound

Can I sing for my supper
And play for my rent
I know it sounds funny
But it's how my time's spent
Greet everyday with full purpose
With passion and pride
I’m going to follow my heart
And have nothing to hide
A moment of insight
I know why I'm here
You know when the time just stops
See it all real clear
I’ve got to set an example
Make some mischief and fun
Do unto others and
Play a fat bass run

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Naaaaaaa....
Make a joyful sound

I got to work hard everyday
And give it my best
Grab hold of fear and negativity
And lay them to rest
I know my time here's important
Can I do the right thing?
Practice patience and forgiveness
Feel the joy that they bring
Can I lay down tonight
Without feeling regret?
I know the love that I give
Becomes the love that I get

Well do you hear what I'm saying
Making sense to you?
Well if you feel it in your heart
Then you might want to sing too

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Naaaaaaa....
Make a joyful sound

I don't want to sound preachy
Make you feel all wrong
Just want to write some kind lyrics
Sing a feel good song
It's kind of hard to explain
It is just a feeling I get
From making music making love
Getting both feet wet
Well every piece to the puzzle
Snapped tight to the groove
I Close my eyes breathe deeply and
Let my feet move
You know I feel a little better
Now for speaking my mind
Good vibes in circulation and
See who they find

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Naaaaaaa....
Make a joyful sound

h2o forms

was waiting for the snow to fall and cover us all
didn't have to wait long
shine on you crazy snowflake
we're all going to melt

What is Nutella?

Revelations come in tongues, come in sweets and come in sours and come in all sorts of hidden, archetypal flavors. In the mountains my tongue is sensitive to the receptions the earth offers this far above the sea, this close to the sun. A delicate balance and the nerve not to run, it’s not a race this close to the sun.

+

so i got this in my email yesterday, think about it guys, think about it...

Dear Lift Ops Applicants

My apologies to those of you that this message in not applicable. I still have a few openings for Lift operations so if you or someone you know is still interested and can work until April 16th please let me know. All applicants must ski and own your own ski equipment. Housing is also extremely limited so please take this into consideration.


Rich Jensen
Recruiting Manager
Deer Valley Resort
1-800-475-4562
www.deervalley.com
rjensen@deervalley.com

Send Your Melancholy Sledding

Melancholy

Sometimes the moment arrives and for all your pre-worry its still more abrupt than you expected and what you want, what you really crave deep down isn’t what you reflexively do so you follow through and come around again and then BAM! You’ve already set yourself up.

+

Another Brick in the Wall
Pink Floyd

Daddy's flown across the ocean
Leaving just a memory
A snapshot in the family album
Daddy, what else did ya leave for me?
Daddy, whatcha leave behind for me?

All in all it was just a brick in the wall
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall

We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers, leave them kids alone
Hey, Teachers, leave those kids alone

All in all its just another brick in the wall
All in all you're just another brick in the wall

We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers, leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! leave those kids alone!

All in all you're just another brick in the wall
All in all you're just another brick in the wall

I don't need no arms around me
I don't need no drugs to calm me
I have seen the writing on the wall
Don't think I need anything at all
No, don't think I need anything at all
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall
All in all you were all just bricks in the wall

who? me?