on thinking about it

Marriage is a funny thing. Some weddings are big, some weddings are small, some people get engaged and then take a good long while to actually tie the knot, and some people run off to Vegas and do it right away. Some people worry about the dress and the rings and the rehearsal dinner’s more than others, but when it comes down to it, the commitment, the sacred part, is the same. It is the sacred commitment of two people to each other in the Presence of God that makes marriage holy and something to be protected and taken seriously.
I went to a close friend’s engagement party in Atlanta this weekend and had my first exposure to the madness and joy that is the approach to a wedding. Nerves get a little racked, hosts get a little tested, in-laws begin merge with in-laws, every thing seems to pick up energy as it rolls on towards the big day, the big moment, when the couple’s new life officially begins together- and then they’re finally off on their own…
What I learned this weekend is that a little pomp and circumstance before the big day is probably a good thing for a healthy marriage. I had lunch with the bride and her mother and sister before the party and it was the bride was a little nervous. We all did our best to calm her down, tell her it’s all in her head, that even if she did fall over or embarrass herself or something, at least she was surrounded by the people who love her.
Marriage is not something to be taken lightly, so it only seems right to test out the nerves a good bit on the takeoff just for future peace of mind before it’s official. E-T-E-R-N-I-T-Y is forever after all. But wait, I guess it’s death do you part? Hmmm, that shortens things up quite a bit doesn’t it? That might be a misinterpretation somewhere… Not everyone needs to have huge parties, but there’s sure nothing like it when they do. Family’s fuse together gradually, but the marriage between the individual is sudden. Engagement parties stick in people’s memory for a long time I bet. For the couple it’s a good way to get to know what it’s going to feel like from the big day onwards.
All in all the party was a great time. I was blessed enough to be close with both sides of the family, and so in a way, I had the easiest view in the whole place. It seems to be that wedding season, at least in my life, is just starting to open up. I can’t wait. It may sound like I’m talking about myself, but I’m not, I assure you. Like I said marriage isn’t something I plan to rush in to because it is something I only plan to do once, God willing. There is a weight to that I want to make sure I can measure before I’m sure. It’s one of the few most important things I want to do in my life, so I want to do it right. The pomp and circumstance are a distant second to finding the right girl. I always remember Dad telling me how easy it all is, the whole happiness for life deal, “See Cole, you just find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and then you never have to work a day in your life.”
My friends, my brother, my family, there are lots of great parties on the horizon. I feel very lucky to have a few insider windows into marriage while still maintaining my independent observation booth. I guess this is another perk of being the younger brother; you get to see it done once first, so by the time my opportunity rolls around, I’ll be lucky enough to have some context to guide me.
God bless you all in your endeavors; show me how to take love seriously. Until the next party, stay sweet to each other, and wish me luck.