November 19th.

For 7 years now this day has been a day I felt uneasy about to say the least. This day has been the anniversary of something that I have never quite known how to feel about. Each year as it would come and go I would get a strange feeling about myself. I would look at myself from another year’s perspective and I would do my best to pay my respects to life and lives and the chaotic nature of reality. I would do my best to charge myself up for another big push towards the light of my dreams and resolve to commit even further to the intimately indescribable effort to manifest my pledge to bring love into the world in some big way.
I don’t think any of this is going to change.
I speak of it in the past tense only because this year, this day marks the anniversary of something I love. Something that is full of that light I try so hard to push myself towards. Something that provides the space to create a portal where love and light and all other good things can pour into the physical domain from the invisible. I was almost so caught up in remembering and being disarmed by the 7-year anniversary that I forgot to notice and spend more time focusing on the new one. Quaint as it might be, today is Brisa and my nine month anniversary, which may not seem like much to you, but when you’ve been dreading a day for 7 years because it confuses and strips you of your senses, to have it be resurrected again with a day of love and gratefulness and hope for the future- well, you’ll just have to imagine what it feels like I suppose. And if you can imagine what it looks like to have that resurrection come in through the smiling face of a beautiful Brazilian woman, full of light and love and her own commitment to her own dreams, well, you might feel pretty damn lucky too.
Love you Bebe.