The more you run away from it the faster it catches up with you. The day you learn to stare it in the face is the day it loses its power.

what would elvis read?

well this was his desk, who knew he was such a spiritualist? well he was the king, that makes sense. the other book on his desk was "Gods from Outter Space"

old king...

fulton, home of the indians- i knew it!

Graceland
Paul Simon

The Mississippi Delta was shining
Like a National guitar
I am following the river
Down the highway
Through the cradle of the civil war
I'm going to Graceland
Graceland
In Memphis Tennessee
I'm going to Graceland
Poorboys and Pilgrims with families
And we are going to Graceland
My traveling companion is nine years old
He is the child of my first marriage
But I've reason to believe
We both will be received
In Graceland

She comes back to tell me she's gone
As if I didn't know that
As if I didn't know my own bed
As if I'd never noticed
The way she brushed her hair from her forehead
And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow

I'm going to Graceland
Memphis Tennessee
I'm going to Graceland
Poorboys and Pilgrims with families
And we are going to Graceland

And my traveling companions
Are ghosts and empty sockets
I'm looking at ghosts and empties
But I've reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland

There is a girl in New York City
Who calls herself the human trampoline
And sometimes when I'm falling, flying
Or tumbling in turmoil I say
Woah, so this is what she means
She means we're bouncing into Graceland
And I see losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody feels the wind blow

In Graceland, in Graceland
I'm going to Graceland
For reasons I cannot explain
There's some part of me wants to see
Graceland
And I may be obliged to defend
Every love, every ending
Or maybe there's no obligations now
Maybe I've a reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland

animal photos

so i made it back from memphis today, and as i was passing the lake i looked over to notice a group of 10 and another group of 6 large ducks in the lake at the farm. it's the first time i've ever seen ducks really, and that many, amazing. the amazing thing really is that when i was in memphis and went to the peapody hotel and saw the ducks, i got grandma a large huggable duckie because she's been jealous of the one a friend gave to me. there are some photos of ducky all the way back in the utah pics if you want to check the archives, but ill just have to take a pic of me and grandma and our ducks and i'll get that up just as soon as i can. i turned in my computer to apple today though so i'm a dependent now as far as blogging goes. i'll do my best, and let's all welcome the gaggle to the family

"Sure do like ol' Frank."

Grandma talk for Sunday:
I went with Grandma to Sunday school again and it was great as usual. On our way out the door in the morning there were eight large turkeys meandering around the field right behind the house. The hay is growing up tall enough now that I guess they feel protected again out in the fields and its good to see them hanging out so close to the house. I bet now that Lance and Troy and Josh and Tyler and the never-ending bag of fireworks are gone now too it’s a little quieter and they are daring to venture back into the fields. I have a picture I took of them that I would post right now but I’m in Memphis as we speak and don’t have the cord to connect up my camera. More on Memphis later…
Pastor Miller took me to a different Sunday school class than I went to last time- the young adults this time instead of the college aged kids- and I think I’m going to go back to the college kids. The class I went to was all young adults who are married and either have kids, are expecting kids, or are trying to have kids. I realized what I think I already knew which is that once you have a kid your entire life revolves around them. Everything you relate to is in the language of children, the stories of children, the hazards of children, the lack of sleep, yada yada, and it all seems great but I am trying to embrace my youth and it startled me. There is an older couple that teaches the class, the Smith’s, and they are very good and solid folk. When I got there everyone was already talking baby and the buzz was that one of the couples, who weren’t there yet, had their prayers answered and word was they were pregnant. I was a silent observer with a big smile on my face through most of this, and then the couple everyone was talking about arrived and walked in a few minutes late. How I knew it was them was because the first thing the Mr. said as he came through the door with his wife was, “We’ve got a bun in the oven! This Sunday School prayer request is incredible!”
It was a good experience, and I see why everyone always said Dad did nothing but talk about his kids, to the point where it inspired the people who worked for him and around him to be better father’s and mothers, but I’m not quite there yet. He told me to be young first, and I’ve read William Blake’s Songs of Innocence and Experience, and I know the day will come. No need to rush. I’ve got plenty of time.
Then we broke into smaller groups and read the passage for the week, something from Exodus about loyalty to God when the Israelites were in the desert eating manna for forty years, and I saw that everyone in the way they relate to the passage is in terms of lessons they’ve learned from trying to be parents. The world and the words of the world really do work differently when you’re a parent. It’s kind of nice to come to see how the Bible can still work on a real simple level for people, and still really work. I realized I think I’m coming back around to liking country music again too, because it’s simple and it’s fun. The only reason I stopped listening to country music in the first place all those years back was because I got into more complicated musical arrangements and improvised moments that took a lot of focus and attention and patient listening to feel the power of the whole node of music, and its complicated, see? Well this year I’m taking it back to the simple things, and country music is sweet and simple. Funny how all these things come together in the strangest of places.
After church I took Grandma to the Golden Rule BBQ and she had her first fried pickle. 89 and still trying new things, what a Grandma. She had this real pretty green outfit on- green dress, green purse, green earrings and even green shoes. When I told her she looked real nice she told me, “Well I haven’t dressed to go out in so long. Since Frank had his stroke I guess, and I just didn’t know what to wear. I wasn’t sure if they were still wearing heels like this so I got out one of those catalogs and sure enough, they had a pair of green heels in there just like these so I figured I best just go ahead and put ‘em on.” So precious. She actually checked the catalog she’s been getting in the mail for fifty years to see if her fashion was still up to date. That reminds me I also met the Avon lady the other day, the same Avon lady that’s been coming’ by to see Grandma for 55 years she said. So classic. Before we left the Golden Rule an older couple from Grandma and Pop’s Sunday school class came up stopped by the table to tell her how glad they were to see her back at church.
“Sure do like ol' Frank, he was a might fine man. I remember when we moved out to our house he just stopped by one day with that machine of his and grated our driveway or somethin’. I can’t remember what he did exactly, I just remember thinkin’, ‘How did he even know we needed that done?’ He had some sixth sense or somethin’. Sure do like old Frank. He’s a real good man, ol’ Frank, I tell you what.”
Grandma introduced them to me and he started talking again about Pop and said, “I’ll go ahead and say it again, if you need anything- give us a call.”
To which Grandma said, “Well I would but Cole here’s been an angel. I told him last night I just wanted an egg and a piece of toast if he was going to cook breakfast this morning, and sure enough when I woke up there was a note sayin’ Egg and toast in the microwave, I’m in the shower.’” There is an incredible type of joy that comes from being sported by your Grandmother, I hope everyone gets a chance to feel that. “We really get to hear about the world from this one!” she said.
“Well I was gonna say I was worried about ya Mary but I see you’re in good hands. Sure is good to see you round church again, take care.” As they left Grandma remembered, “They were in the carpet business. You coulda had quite a conversation with ‘em if I’d remembered in time, shooo!” (See Brooks’ blog Subtle Being for the connection to carpet here.)
Sunday afternoon I drove up to Memphis to see Lauren and support her in her art endeavors. She has an art show going up here that runs through July and I wanted to come and be supportive. It’s hard in this world of practical tracts to find other people willing to go out on a limb and be “artists” so to speak. We gotta stick together, someone has to keep dreaming for the rest of us. Dear heavenly father, thank you for the blessings we receive and the space to reflect the universe gives us when we are ready and willing to really dig in deep and squeeze out the meaning of things.
Lauren’s house is amazing. She’s got about 18 acres, a pond, a big ol’ garden Brooks would be jealous of, and we saw three deer yesterday, and I got to see Yoshi again! Yoshi is quite a dog, spunky as ever. His hair is cut now and he looks like Tory, our old welsh terrier, only a little bigger and lighter hair. It’s amazing how much I appreciate being included in families these days. I always seem to have some profound insight into myself talking to friend’s parents over home cooked meals. I can’t thank all of you enough for that.
Lauren’s taking an American History class at the University of Memphis so I dropped her off and entertained myself for a bit, then we did a full day of Memphis. Ate lunch at Huey’s, went to Beale street, the Peabody hotel with all the ducks, and even went to Graceland, home of the King. We watched Jesus Christ Superstar the night before and it all seemed such a fitting lace. Hmm, the love of the people is hard sometimes.
Now I’m back in Starbucks while Lauren’s in class and this afternoon we’re going to go see here show, then back the farm tomorrow for more Grandma porch time before Montana on Saturday. I’m afraid I’m going to have to turn in my computer to the Apple store today to have the port plug-in for the internet fixed, so hopefully I’ll find a way to keep updating. Photos are on back log though, so the turkeys and the deer and the duckies will be up coming. Today we’ll pull some from the archives… (at the Willie Nelson concert in Big Sky a few years back, at Bozo Funhouse, Jud’s fish from the lake that now resides at the Wesley’s lakehouse)

around Then

As we get back into an active war sort of mind frame I am shocked to understand how I ever got out of an active war state of mind. I guess it’s all the TV coverage again. The flooding of the market of graphic imagery. Be wary, be wary afraid.
I found an article I wrote for the SMU Daily Campus on the one year anniversary of the war in Iraq and it seems even sillier now, but the message still rings true. Stay sensitive, CNN isn’t showing you the sensitive stuff. War is not fluffy.


Where are we now?
by Cole Suttle

Now that we’ve marked the one year anniversary of a War our President declared a “success” ten months ago, I think it is time to step back and work on our definitions.
I don’t want to think about whether or not going to War was the right decision. There are enough well paid opinion makers on television to do that. It’s not that Bush mislead the country in his State of the Union cheerleading speech, it’s just a glitch in the information system, right? Nobody knew Saddam wasn’t really dealing nuclear arms with Africa. Honest mistake, honest.
It’s not even worth thinking about the fact the immanent WMD threat has thus far turned out as hollow as the African Ore deal. Darn information network. It’s a big desert though, they could be buried anywhere they tell me. Besides, the WMD motivation for War is so yesterday’s news. Now it was just the “right thing to do.”
Somehow our pluralistic “One Nation Under God” listens to a President justify War with scripture. Why bother talking about a paradox like that? I would get too confused comparing America’s noble intention to liberate the Iraqi people with some sort of other religious war.
So what should we think about on the anniversary of the Empire’s first preemptive attack in the fight against Evil? In his one-year anniversary script reading speech, our smooth spoken Chief reminded us “There is no neutral zone between Good and Evil.” What a relief to know Bush has the age-old dilemma of Good and Evil down to an exact science. What a relief that even though our information technology still has some kinks in it, our judge of character is flawless.
After Bush’s speech, I found myself thinking about the Fall of all things. You know, Adam and Eve, the juicy fruit, our eternal debt to God? I’m not an authority on the Bible so I’ll ask anyone out there who knows. What does it mean to be born with Original Sin? Does it mean that even before the miracle of birth all children are never not guilty? That even the first breath is a guilty one? What is the difference between being Evil and being a sinner?
This doesn’t feel like a very comfortable line of questions. There must be a difference between evil and sin I haven’t had explained to me yet. I hope so. Because if my instinct to associate sin with evil is implied, then I’m even more confused what Bush means when he assures us there is no grey area in a person’s soul. According to the teachings of his own faith, every child comes into the world a sinner/evil. When, I would ask him out of my own ignorance, does the dramatic leap over the neutral zone from sinner to Good human come? After baptism? Right after Baptism? Maybe after rehab, eh Dubya?
But I guess if Bush is the example, I clearly don’t understand what Love your Enemies means either.
Then I tried to put myself in the human part of the War- I thought about how many coffins were used in military funerals this year. I thought about what the children’s nightmares have been like in Iraq, the US, everywhere. I thought of how many body bags the military ordered for Operation Iraqi Freedom. I thought about the growing rate of Coalition force suicides. I thought I might be scared. Then I reminded myself the more fearful I am, the less willing I am to think for myself.
Our President has not wavered to remind us again and again that Iraq is a better place because of America’s altruistic commitment to Democracy in the Middle East. I guess I should be happy Bush is so sure what “better” means, but for some reason I can’t quite rest easy taking him on his word. I’m sure it’s my own lack of vision, but I get confused watching the news every night and hearing about a bigger bomb explosion with more people dead.
I couldn’t handle being President, especially not this President, so I respect the position and the weight of the responsibility he has. Still, I worry what ignorance in high places can do, and I worry we’re becoming desensitized to the absolute horror in Iraq because we see it everyday. So that’s what I thought about: staying sensitive.
There is a Michael Franti song that goes “You can bomb the world to pieces, but you can’t bomb it into Peace.”
Think about it.
Then think about where you’ll be when the two year anniversary sneaks up on you. That isn’t so hard to imagine these days is it?
Now that’s scary.




A dream I had around then…

I had a dream once, and it’s a strange dream I’ll forewarn you, but I can’t seem to forget it. Since I’m only trying to be honest here, hopefully anyone reading this won’t judge me too much for my dreams seeing as I’ve only developed a rather minimal control over them so far. It went like this…In a big field somewhere under an African sky, Bush, Osama, Allah, Jesus and Buddha were all sitting around a campfire talking. The one other face I could make out was an Indian Chief in full ritual ornamentation passing around a peace pipe. I remember expecting the apocalypse to happen any moment with all these people in one place, but to my amazement it turned out to be quite the opposite. Then, like a flashbulb exploding over their heads in neon smoke the words appeared, “The World Peace Pipe Coalition.” Bush and Osama and Allah and Jesus must have all seen the same thing because they all began to laugh at the irony of the whole situation. Peace pipe? Talking out problems? But they didn’t laugh half as hard as Buddha did. Buddha laughed so hard he woke me up and I found myself in bed. With a sigh I swung my legs over the edge and stood up thinking, “It was just a dream I guess,” as I opened the mornings paper to see another Blast. It’s scary what’s managed to become routine this past year.

take a little sip from this big ol' jug

You never know how it’s going to start, but you’ve got to be expecting it. Knowledge is power, but character precedes knowledge, so work on it. Get you’re timing right. In a field of grass the waves don’t slosh over the edge of my boat as much during the stormy seasons, and I prefer it that way, water is wet. I prefer the dry seas of green to the deep unknown of your aquamarine. God is a Presence, a beloved, an old friend who knows you better than you know yourself in many ways. I often wish I had a lover like that. A lover who knew me more than I knew myself and forgave me for all my bumbling mistakes made in haste and uncertainty and fear, or because I’m bashful. I imagine the sea is a lover like that to some. I suppose I should go and meet the sea for my Self, but I’ve preferred the green waves for so long, surrendered it. Fight off your morning chill chill children, want to wrap myself in a shawl and cast away into the depths of the wonders of the sea. The deepest depths of the sea, sea green, of course, Of course. Now I see. Be analytical, keep your mind sharp at all times. Watch the way it folds back in on itself, watch the way it tricks your mind but not your soul with all those fancy words. Choose to be happy, choose the good life for your Self. Darling, I just can’t seem to get my brain started this morning. Take a little sip, just a little sip, from this big ol’ jug…

blessings

to the cooks!

"the secret cole, is you just find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and then you never have to work a day in your life." -Dad

mexican cosuin

Oh Tequila, I turn to you like a long lost friend
I want to kiss my Mexican Cousin once again
We'll cover every emotion from happiness to sorrow,
And the conversations I forget, you'll tell me about tomorrow
When the phone calls start, am I in bed or in a hearse?
The things you tell me about myself can't make me feel any worse

Well I'm awful sorry you got pissed
Just have to cross you off the list
Of my true friends...
And Tequila's where that starts and where it ends

some thoughts on the Bible

is the answer going to be all of one?
Some of both?
Or a new way to see both as one?

How esoteric/exotic did God really make me?
How many passions yet await me?

Evanescence – one moment it’s here, the next moment it’s gone

The Bible is about transformation. In everywhere except Ecclesiastes time proceeds linearly, but in Ecclesiastes time is cyclical, the past is forgotten. Shows you just how far you can get on wisdom, but there’s nothing worth working towards really so it isn’t worth it. Wisdom subverts everything, even itself.

Who does the Bible give authority to?
What sort of transformation is meant to occur between the Old Testament and the New?
How can a God who breaks his own commandments be just?
What is God’s personality?
What is God’s inner dialectic?

Human/God
Wicked/ righteous
Man/woman
Wise/foolish
Slave/master
Conscious/unconscious
Immoral/moral (amoral)
Dark/light (shadow)

The trickster is the one who blends dark and light, paints from both sides of the palette.

The messiah is chosen by God, they do not choose to be a prophet on their own:
See Isaiah, Jonah, Song of Songs

The image we have of God is better than the image God portrays of himself.

What is the function of sacrifice? To cause great pain and through the suffering of that pain turn to God. Methods for instilling the fear of God into the people: circumcision, sacrifice first born child.
God promises descendents to Isaac, then says to sacrifice him. WTF?

What if your faith requires you to do something that is not culturally acceptable?
If you follow the Bible too far, you will end up God knows where. Trust your sensitivities.

I admit that when I was younger and just coming onto the scene, the rational center of religion with it’s ultimately self explaining principals of goodness was a far goal to reach for but a good one worth coming up just a little short of even.

peace in the middle east, pleeeeeeeeeease

We Shall Be Free
Garth Brooks

This aint comin from no prophet
Just an ordinary man
When I close my eyes I see
The way this world shall be
When we all walk hand in hand

When the last child cries for a crust of bread
When the last man dies for just words that he said
When there's shelter over the poorest head
We shall be free

When the last thing we notice is the color of skin
And the first thing we look for is the beauty within
When the skies and the oceans are clean again
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Just have a little faith
And hold out
'Cause we shall be free

When we're free to love anyone we choose
When this worlds big enough for all different views
When we're all free to worship from our own kind of pew
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Step straight
Walk proud
'Cause we shall be free

And when money talks for the very last time
And nobody walks a step behind
When there's only one race and thats mankind
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
Listen what im sayin to you
Cause every night and day i pray it's true,
Together
Forever
We shall be free

We Shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight,
Hold out
We shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free

name that dinasaur

" and here we see cole wearing an early 80's reptile design by grandma suttle, fabulous, look at that attitude."
"yes jean another find piece in the mama suttle collection."

are you free tonite?

"See Lance, this one is you, this one me, this one is cole, and when brooks gets here we'll have all four, you see?" - Troy

"we're gonna smoke 'em outta their holes!" -W

francis beedle told me to read...

George Washington's Farewell Address 1796

Friends and Citizens:

The period for a new election of a citizen to administer the executive government of the United States being not far distant, and the time actually arrived when your thoughts must be employed in designating the person who is to be clothed with that important trust, it appears to me proper, especially as it may conduce to a more distinct expression of the public voice, that I should now apprise you of the resolution I have formed, to decline being considered among the number of those out of whom a choice is to be made.

I beg you, at the same time, to do me the justice to be assured that this resolution has not been taken without a strict regard to all the considerations appertaining to the relation which binds a dutiful citizen to his country; and that in withdrawing the tender of service, which silence in my situation might imply, I am influenced by no diminution of zeal for your future interest, no deficiency of grateful respect for your past kindness, but am supported by a full conviction that the step is compatible with both.

The acceptance of, and continuance hitherto in, the office to which your suffrages have twice called me have been a uniform sacrifice of inclination to the opinion of duty and to a deference for what appeared to be your desire. I constantly hoped that it would have been much earlier in my power, consistently with motives which I was not at liberty to disregard, to return to that retirement from which I had been reluctantly drawn. The strength of my inclination to do this, previous to the last election, had even led to the preparation of an address to declare it to you; but mature reflection on the then perplexed and critical posture of our affairs with foreign nations, and the unanimous advice of persons entitled to my confidence, impelled me to abandon the idea.

I rejoice that the state of your concerns, external as well as internal, no longer renders the pursuit of inclination incompatible with the sentiment of duty or propriety, and am persuaded, whatever partiality may be retained for my services, that, in the present circumstances of our country, you will not disapprove my determination to retire.

The impressions with which I first undertook the arduous trust were explained on the proper occasion. In the discharge of this trust, I will only say that I have, with good intentions, contributed towards the organization and administration of the government the best exertions of which a very fallible judgment was capable. Not unconscious in the outset of the inferiority of my qualifications, experience in my own eyes, perhaps still more in the eyes of others, has strengthened the motives to diffidence of myself; and every day the increasing weight of years admonishes me more and more that the shade of retirement is as necessary to me as it will be welcome. Satisfied that if any circumstances have given peculiar value to my services, they were temporary, I have the consolation to believe that, while choice and prudence invite me to quit the political scene, patriotism does not forbid it.

In looking forward to the moment which is intended to terminate the career of my public life, my feelings do not permit me to suspend the deep acknowledgment of that debt of gratitude which I owe to my beloved country for the many honors it has conferred upon me; still more for the steadfast confidence with which it has supported me; and for the opportunities I have thence enjoyed of manifesting my inviolable attachment, by services faithful and persevering, though in usefulness unequal to my zeal. If benefits have resulted to our country from these services, let it always be remembered to your praise, and as an instructive example in our annals, that under circumstances in which the passions, agitated in every direction, were liable to mislead, amidst appearances sometimes dubious, vicissitudes of fortune often discouraging, in situations in which not unfrequently want of success has countenanced the spirit of criticism, the constancy of your support was the essential prop of the efforts, and a guarantee of the plans by which they were effected. Profoundly penetrated with this idea, I shall carry it with me to my grave, as a strong incitement to unceasing vows that heaven may continue to you the choicest tokens of its beneficence; that your union and brotherly affection may be perpetual; that the free Constitution, which is the work of your hands, may be sacredly maintained; that its administration in every department may be stamped with wisdom and virtue; that, in fine, the happiness of the people of these States, under the auspices of liberty, may be made complete by so careful a preservation and so prudent a use of this blessing as will acquire to them the glory of recommending it to the applause, the affection, and adoption of every nation which is yet a stranger to it.

Here, perhaps, I ought to stop. But a solicitude for your welfare, which cannot end but with my life, and the apprehension of danger, natural to that solicitude, urge me, on an occasion like the present, to offer to your solemn contemplation, and to recommend to your frequent review, some sentiments which are the result of much reflection, of no inconsiderable observation, and which appear to me all-important to the permanency of your felicity as a people. These will be offered to you with the more freedom, as you can only see in them the disinterested warnings of a parting friend, who can possibly have no personal motive to bias his counsel. Nor can I forget, as an encouragement to it, your indulgent reception of my sentiments on a former and not dissimilar occasion.

Interwoven as is the love of liberty with every ligament of your hearts, no recommendation of mine is necessary to fortify or confirm the attachment.

The unity of government which constitutes you one people is also now dear to you. It is justly so, for it is a main pillar in the edifice of your real independence, the support of your tranquility at home, your peace abroad; of your safety; of your prosperity; of that very liberty which you so highly prize. But as it is easy to foresee that, from different causes and from different quarters, much pains will be taken, many artifices employed to weaken in your minds the conviction of this truth; as this is the point in your political fortress against which the batteries of internal and external enemies will be most constantly and actively (though often covertly and insidiously) directed, it is of infinite moment that you should properly estimate the immense value of your national union to your collective and individual happiness; that you should cherish a cordial, habitual, and immovable attachment to it; accustoming yourselves to think and speak of it as of the palladium of your political safety and prosperity; watching for its preservation with jealous anxiety; discountenancing whatever may suggest even a suspicion that it can in any event be abandoned; and indignantly frowning upon the first dawning of every attempt to alienate any portion of our country from the rest, or to enfeeble the sacred ties which now link together the various parts.

For this you have every inducement of sympathy and interest. Citizens, by birth or choice, of a common country, that country has a right to concentrate your affections. The name of American, which belongs to you in your national capacity, must always exalt the just pride of patriotism more than any appellation derived from local discriminations. With slight shades of difference, you have the same religion, manners, habits, and political principles. You have in a common cause fought and triumphed together; the independence and liberty you possess are the work of joint counsels, and joint efforts of common dangers, sufferings, and successes.

But these considerations, however powerfully they address themselves to your sensibility, are greatly outweighed by those which apply more immediately to your interest. Here every portion of our country finds the most commanding motives for carefully guarding and preserving the union of the whole.

The North, in an unrestrained intercourse with the South, protected by the equal laws of a common government, finds in the productions of the latter great additional resources of maritime and commercial enterprise and precious materials of manufacturing industry. The South, in the same intercourse, benefiting by the agency of the North, sees its agriculture grow and its commerce expand. Turning partly into its own channels the seamen of the North, it finds its particular navigation invigorated; and, while it contributes, in different ways, to nourish and increase the general mass of the national navigation, it looks forward to the protection of a maritime strength, to which itself is unequally adapted. The East, in a like intercourse with the West, already finds, and in the progressive improvement of interior communications by land and water, will more and more find a valuable vent for the commodities which it brings from abroad, or manufactures at home. The West derives from the East supplies requisite to its growth and comfort, and, what is perhaps of still greater consequence, it must of necessity owe the secure enjoyment of indispensable outlets for its own productions to the weight, influence, and the future maritime strength of the Atlantic side of the Union, directed by an indissoluble community of interest as one nation. Any other tenure by which the West can hold this essential advantage, whether derived from its own separate strength, or from an apostate and unnatural connection with any foreign power, must be intrinsically precarious.

While, then, every part of our country thus feels an immediate and particular interest in union, all the parts combined cannot fail to find in the united mass of means and efforts greater strength, greater resource, proportionably greater security from external danger, a less frequent interruption of their peace by foreign nations; and, what is of inestimable value, they must derive from union an exemption from those broils and wars between themselves, which so frequently afflict neighboring countries not tied together by the same governments, which their own rival ships alone would be sufficient to produce, but which opposite foreign alliances, attachments, and intrigues would stimulate and embitter. Hence, likewise, they will avoid the necessity of those overgrown military establishments which, under any form of government, are inauspicious to liberty, and which are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty. In this sense it is that your union ought to be considered as a main prop of your liberty, and that the love of the one ought to endear to you the preservation of the other.

These considerations speak a persuasive language to every reflecting and virtuous mind, and exhibit the continuance of the Union as a primary object of patriotic desire. Is there a doubt whether a common government can embrace so large a sphere? Let experience solve it. To listen to mere speculation in such a case were criminal. We are authorized to hope that a proper organization of the whole with the auxiliary agency of governments for the respective subdivisions, will afford a happy issue to the experiment. It is well worth a fair and full experiment. With such powerful and obvious motives to union, affecting all parts of our country, while experience shall not have demonstrated its impracticability, there will always be reason to distrust the patriotism of those who in any quarter may endeavor to weaken its bands.

In contemplating the causes which may disturb our Union, it occurs as matter of serious concern that any ground should have been furnished for characterizing parties by geographical discriminations, Northern and Southern, Atlantic and Western; whence designing men may endeavor to excite a belief that there is a real difference of local interests and views. One of the expedients of party to acquire influence within particular districts is to misrepresent the opinions and aims of other districts. You cannot shield yourselves too much against the jealousies and heartburnings which spring from these misrepresentations; they tend to render alien to each other those who ought to be bound together by fraternal affection. The inhabitants of our Western country have lately had a useful lesson on this head; they have seen, in the negotiation by the Executive, and in the unanimous ratification by the Senate, of the treaty with Spain, and in the universal satisfaction at that event, throughout the United States, a decisive proof how unfounded were the suspicions propagated among them of a policy in the General Government and in the Atlantic States unfriendly to their interests in regard to the Mississippi; they have been witnesses to the formation of two treaties, that with Great Britain, and that with Spain, which secure to them everything they could desire, in respect to our foreign relations, towards confirming their prosperity. Will it not be their wisdom to rely for the preservation of these advantages on the Union by which they were procured ? Will they not henceforth be deaf to those advisers, if such there are, who would sever them from their brethren and connect them with aliens?

To the efficacy and permanency of your Union, a government for the whole is indispensable. No alliance, however strict, between the parts can be an adequate substitute; they must inevitably experience the infractions and interruptions which all alliances in all times have experienced. Sensible of this momentous truth, you have improved upon your first essay, by the adoption of a constitution of government better calculated than your former for an intimate union, and for the efficacious management of your common concerns. This government, the offspring of our own choice, uninfluenced and unawed, adopted upon full investigation and mature deliberation, completely free in its principles, in the distribution of its powers, uniting security with energy, and containing within itself a provision for its own amendment, has a just claim to your confidence and your support. Respect for its authority, compliance with its laws, acquiescence in its measures, are duties enjoined by the fundamental maxims of true liberty. The basis of our political systems is the right of the people to make and to alter their constitutions of government. But the Constitution which at any time exists, till changed by an explicit and authentic act of the whole people, is sacredly obligatory upon all. The very idea of the power and the right of the people to establish government presupposes the duty of every individual to obey the established government.

All obstructions to the execution of the laws, all combinations and associations, under whatever plausible character, with the real design to direct, control, counteract, or awe the regular deliberation and action of the constituted authorities, are destructive of this fundamental principle, and of fatal tendency. They serve to organize faction, to give it an artificial and extraordinary force; to put, in the place of the delegated will of the nation the will of a party, often a small but artful and enterprising minority of the community; and, according to the alternate triumphs of different parties, to make the public administration the mirror of the ill-concerted and incongruous projects of faction, rather than the organ of consistent and wholesome plans digested by common counsels and modified by mutual interests.

However combinations or associations of the above description may now and then answer popular ends, they are likely, in the course of time and things, to become potent engines, by which cunning, ambitious, and unprincipled men will be enabled to subvert the power of the people and to usurp for themselves the reins of government, destroying afterwards the very engines which have lifted them to unjust dominion.

Towards the preservation of your government, and the permanency of your present happy state, it is requisite, not only that you steadily discountenance irregular oppositions to its acknowledged authority, but also that you resist with care the spirit of innovation upon its principles, however specious the pretexts. One method of assault may be to effect, in the forms of the Constitution, alterations which will impair the energy of the system, and thus to undermine what cannot be directly overthrown. In all the changes to which you may be invited, remember that time and habit are at least as necessary to fix the true character of governments as of other human institutions; that experience is the surest standard by which to test the real tendency of the existing constitution of a country; that facility in changes, upon the credit of mere hypothesis and opinion, exposes to perpetual change, from the endless variety of hypothesis and opinion; and remember, especially, that for the efficient management of your common interests, in a country so extensive as ours, a government of as much vigor as is consistent with the perfect security of liberty is indispensable. Liberty itself will find in such a government, with powers properly distributed and adjusted, its surest guardian. It is, indeed, little else than a name, where the government is too feeble to withstand the enterprises of faction, to confine each member of the society within the limits prescribed by the laws, and to maintain all in the secure and tranquil enjoyment of the rights of person and property.

I have already intimated to you the danger of parties in the State, with particular reference to the founding of them on geographical discriminations. Let me now take a more comprehensive view, and warn you in the most solemn manner against the baneful effects of the spirit of party generally.

This spirit, unfortunately, is inseparable from our nature, having its root in the strongest passions of the human mind. It exists under different shapes in all governments, more or less stifled, controlled, or repressed; but, in those of the popular form, it is seen in its greatest rankness, and is truly their worst enemy.

The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge, natural to party dissension, which in different ages and countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism. But this leads at length to a more formal and permanent despotism. The disorders and miseries which result gradually incline the minds of men to seek security and repose in the absolute power of an individual; and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction, more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins of public liberty.

Without looking forward to an extremity of this kind (which nevertheless ought not to be entirely out of sight), the common and continual mischiefs of the spirit of party are sufficient to make it the interest and duty of a wise people to discourage and restrain it.

It serves always to distract the public councils and enfeeble the public administration. It agitates the community with ill-founded jealousies and false alarms, kindles the animosity of one part against another, foments occasionally riot and insurrection. It opens the door to foreign influence and corruption, which finds a facilitated access to the government itself through the channels of party passions. Thus the policy and the will of one country are subjected to the policy and will of another.

There is an opinion that parties in free countries are useful checks upon the administration of the government and serve to keep alive the spirit of liberty. This within certain limits is probably true; and in governments of a monarchical cast, patriotism may look with indulgence, if not with favor, upon the spirit of party. But in those of the popular character, in governments purely elective, it is a spirit not to be encouraged. From their natural tendency, it is certain there will always be enough of that spirit for every salutary purpose. And there being constant danger of excess, the effort ought to be by force of public opinion, to mitigate and assuage it. A fire not to be quenched, it demands a uniform vigilance to prevent its bursting into a flame, lest, instead of warming, it should consume.

It is important, likewise, that the habits of thinking in a free country should inspire caution in those entrusted with its administration, to confine themselves within their respective constitutional spheres, avoiding in the exercise of the powers of one department to encroach upon another. The spirit of encroachment tends to consolidate the powers of all the departments in one, and thus to create, whatever the form of government, a real despotism. A just estimate of that love of power, and proneness to abuse it, which predominates in the human heart, is sufficient to satisfy us of the truth of this position. The necessity of reciprocal checks in the exercise of political power, by dividing and distributing it into different depositaries, and constituting each the guardian of the public weal against invasions by the others, has been evinced by experiments ancient and modern; some of them in our country and under our own eyes. To preserve them must be as necessary as to institute them. If, in the opinion of the people, the distribution or modification of the constitutional powers be in any particular wrong, let it be corrected by an amendment in the way which the Constitution designates. But let there be no change by usurpation; for though this, in one instance, may be the instrument of good, it is the customary weapon by which free governments are destroyed. The precedent must always greatly overbalance in permanent evil any partial or transient benefit, which the use can at any time yield.

Of all the dispositions and habits which lead to political prosperity, religion and morality are indispensable supports. In vain would that man claim the tribute of patriotism, who should labor to subvert these great pillars of human happiness, these firmest props of the duties of men and citizens. The mere politician, equally with the pious man, ought to respect and to cherish them. A volume could not trace all their connections with private and public felicity. Let it simply be asked: Where is the security for property, for reputation, for life, if the sense of religious obligation desert the oaths which are the instruments of investigation in courts of justice ? And let us with caution indulge the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion. Whatever may be conceded to the influence of refined education on minds of peculiar structure, reason and experience both forbid us to expect that national morality can prevail in exclusion of religious principle.

It is substantially true that virtue or morality is a necessary spring of popular government. The rule, indeed, extends with more or less force to every species of free government. Who that is a sincere friend to it can look with indifference upon attempts to shake the foundation of the fabric?

Promote then, as an object of primary importance, institutions for the general diffusion of knowledge. In proportion as the structure of a government gives force to public opinion, it is essential that public opinion should be enlightened.

As a very important source of strength and security, cherish public credit. One method of preserving it is to use it as sparingly as possible, avoiding occasions of expense by cultivating peace, but remembering also that timely disbursements to prepare for danger frequently prevent much greater disbursements to repel it, avoiding likewise the accumulation of debt, not only by shunning occasions of expense, but by vigorous exertion in time of peace to discharge the debts which unavoidable wars may have occasioned, not ungenerously throwing upon posterity the burden which we ourselves ought to bear. The execution of these maxims belongs to your representatives, but it is necessary that public opinion should co-operate. To facilitate to them the performance of their duty, it is essential that you should practically bear in mind that towards the payment of debts there must be revenue; that to have revenue there must be taxes; that no taxes can be devised which are not more or less inconvenient and unpleasant; that the intrinsic embarrassment, inseparable from the selection of the proper objects (which is always a choice of difficulties), ought to be a decisive motive for a candid construction of the conduct of the government in making it, and for a spirit of acquiescence in the measures for obtaining revenue, which the public exigencies may at any time dictate.

Observe good faith and justice towards all nations; cultivate peace and harmony with all. Religion and morality enjoin this conduct; and can it be, that good policy does not equally enjoin it 7 It will be worthy of a free, enlightened, and at no distant period, a great nation, to give to mankind the magnanimous and too novel example of a people always guided by an exalted justice and benevolence. Who can doubt that, in the course of time and things, the fruits of such a plan would richly repay any temporary advantages which might be lost by a steady adherence to it ? Can it be that Providence has not connected the permanent felicity of a nation with its virtue ? The experiment, at least, is recommended by every sentiment which ennobles human nature. Alas! is it rendered impossible by its vices?

In the execution of such a plan, nothing is more essential than that permanent, inveterate antipathies against particular nations, and passionate attachments for others, should be excluded; and that, in place of them, just and amicable feelings towards all should be cultivated. The nation which indulges towards another a habitual hatred or a habitual fondness is in some degree a slave. It is a slave to its animosity or to its affection, either of which is sufficient to lead it astray from its duty and its interest. Antipathy in one nation against another disposes each more readily to offer insult and injury, to lay hold of slight causes of umbrage, and to be haughty and intractable, when accidental or trifling occasions of dispute occur. Hence, frequent collisions, obstinate, envenomed, and bloody contests. The nation, prompted by ill-will and resentment, sometimes impels to war the government, contrary to the best calculations of policy. The government sometimes participates in the national propensity, and adopts through passion what reason would reject; at other times it makes the animosity of the nation subservient to projects of hostility instigated by pride, ambition, and other sinister and pernicious motives. The peace often, sometimes perhaps the liberty, of nations, has been the victim.

So likewise, a passionate attachment of one nation for another produces a variety of evils. Sympathy for the favorite nation, facilitating the illusion of an imaginary common interest in cases where no real common interest exists, and infusing into one the enmities of the other, betrays the former into a participation in the quarrels and wars of the latter without adequate inducement or justification. It leads also to concessions to the favorite nation of privileges denied to others which is apt doubly to injure the nation making the concessions; by unnecessarily parting with what ought to have been retained, and by exciting jealousy, ill-will, and a disposition to retaliate, in the parties from whom equal privileges are withheld. And it gives to ambitious, corrupted, or deluded citizens (who devote themselves to the favorite nation), facility to betray or sacrifice the interests of their own country, without odium, sometimes even with popularity; gilding, with the appearances of a virtuous sense of obligation, a commendable deference for public opinion, or a laudable zeal for public good, the base or foolish compliances of ambition, corruption, or infatuation.

As avenues to foreign influence in innumerable ways, such attachments are particularly alarming to the truly enlightened and independent patriot. How many opportunities do they afford to tamper with domestic factions, to practice the arts of seduction, to mislead public opinion, to influence or awe the public councils 7 Such an attachment of a small or weak towards a great and powerful nation dooms the former to be the satellite of the latter.

Against the insidious wiles of foreign influence (I conjure you to believe me, fellow-citizens) the jealousy of a free people ought to be constantly awake, since history and experience prove that foreign influence is one of the most baneful foes of republican government. But that jealousy to be useful must be impartial; else it becomes the instrument of the very influence to be avoided, instead of a defense against it. Excessive partiality for one foreign nation and excessive dislike of another cause those whom they actuate to see danger only on one side, and serve to veil and even second the arts of influence on the other. Real patriots who may resist the intrigues of the favorite are liable to become suspected and odious, while its tools and dupes usurp the applause and confidence of the people, to surrender their interests.

The great rule of conduct for us in regard to foreign nations is in extending our commercial relations, to have with them as little political connection as possible. So far as we have already formed engagements, let them be fulfilled with perfect good faith. Here let us stop. Europe has a set of primary interests which to us have none; or a very remote relation. Hence she must be engaged in frequent controversies, the causes of which are essentially foreign to our concerns. Hence, therefore, it must be unwise in us to implicate ourselves by artificial ties in the ordinary vicissitudes of her politics, or the ordinary combinations and collisions of her friendships or enmities.

Our detached and distant situation invites and enables us to pursue a different course. If we remain one people under an efficient government. the period is not far off when we may defy material injury from external annoyance; when we may take such an attitude as will cause the neutrality we may at any time resolve upon to be scrupulously respected; when belligerent nations, under the impossibility of making acquisitions upon us, will not lightly hazard the giving us provocation; when we may choose peace or war, as our interest, guided by justice, shall counsel.

Why forego the advantages of so peculiar a situation? Why quit our own to stand upon foreign ground? Why, by interweaving our destiny with that of any part of Europe, entangle our peace and prosperity in the toils of European ambition, rivalship, interest, humor or caprice?

It is our true policy to steer clear of permanent alliances with any portion of the foreign world; so far, I mean, as we are now at liberty to do it; for let me not be understood as capable of patronizing infidelity to existing engagements. I hold the maxim no less applicable to public than to private affairs, that honesty is always the best policy. I repeat it, therefore, let those engagements be observed in their genuine sense. But, in my opinion, it is unnecessary and would be unwise to extend them.

Taking care always to keep ourselves by suitable establishments on a respectable defensive posture, we may safely trust to temporary alliances for extraordinary emergencies.

Harmony, liberal intercourse with all nations, are recommended by policy, humanity, and interest. But even our commercial policy should hold an equal and impartial hand; neither seeking nor granting exclusive favors or preferences; consulting the natural course of things; diffusing and diversifying by gentle means the streams of commerce, but forcing nothing; establishing (with powers so disposed, in order to give trade a stable course, to define the rights of our merchants, and to enable the government to support them) conventional rules of intercourse, the best that present circumstances and mutual opinion will permit, but temporary, and liable to be from time to time abandoned or varied, as experience and circumstances shall dictate; constantly keeping in view that it is folly in one nation to look for disinterested favors from another; that it must pay with a portion of its independence for whatever it may accept under that character; that, by such acceptance, it may place itself in the condition of having given equivalents for nominal favors, and yet of being reproached with ingratitude for not giving more. There can be no greater error than to expect or calculate upon real favors from nation to nation. It is an illusion, which experience must cure, which a just pride ought to discard.

In offering to you, my countrymen, these counsels of an old and affectionate friend, I dare not hope they will make the strong and lasting impression I could wish; that they will control the usual current of the passions, or prevent our nation from running the course which has hitherto marked the destiny of nations. But, if I may even flatter myself that they may be productive of some partial benefit, some occasional good; that they may now and then recur to moderate the fury of party spirit, to warn against the mischiefs of foreign intrigue, to guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism; this hope will be a full recompense for the solicitude for your welfare, by which they have been dictated.

How far in the discharge of my official duties I have been guided by the principles which have been delineated, the public records and other evidences of my conduct must witness to you and to the world. To myself, the assurance of my own conscience is, that I have at least believed myself to be guided by them.

In relation to the still subsisting war in Europe, my proclamation of the twenty-second of April, I793, is the index of my plan. Sanctioned by your approving voice, and by that of your representatives in both houses of Congress, the spirit of that measure has continually governed me, uninfluenced by any attempts to deter or divert me from it.

After deliberate examination, with the aid of the best lights I could obtain, I was well satisfied that our country, under all the circumstances of the case, had a right to take, and was bound in duty and interest to take, a neutral position. Having taken it, I determined, as far as should depend upon me, to maintain it, with moderation, perseverance, and firmness.

The considerations which respect the right to hold this con duct, it is not necessary on this occasion to detail. I will only observe that, according to my understanding of the matter, that right, so far from being denied by any of the belligerent powers, has been virtually admitted by all.

The duty of holding a neutral conduct may be inferred, without anything more, from the obligation which justice and humanity impose on every nation, in cases in which it is free to act, to maintain inviolate the relations of peace and amity towards other nations.

The inducements of interest for observing that conduct will best be referred to your own reflections and experience. With me a predominant motive has been to endeavor to gain time to our country to settle and mature its yet recent institutions, and to progress without interruption to that degree of strength and consistency which is necessary to give it, humanly speaking, the command of its own fortunes.

Though, in reviewing the incidents of my administration, I am unconscious of intentional error, I am nevertheless too sensible of my defects not to think it probable that I may have committed many errors. Whatever they may be, I fervently beseech the Almighty to avert or mitigate the evils to which they may tend. I shall also carry with me the hope that my country will never cease to view them with indulgence; and that, after forty five years of my life dedicated to its service with an upright zeal, the faults of incompetent abilities will be consigned to oblivion, as myself must soon be to the mansions of rest.

Relying on its kindness in this as in other things, and actuated by that fervent love towards it, which is so natural to a man who views in it the native soil of himself and his progenitors for several generations, I anticipate with pleasing expectation that retreat in which I promise myself to realize, without alloy, the sweet enjoyment of partaking, in the midst of my fellow-citizens, the benign influence of good laws under a free government, the ever-favorite object of my heart, and the happy reward, as I trust, of our mutual cares, labors, and dangers.

Geo. Washington.

Geometric kundalini meridian flows of energy

So it’s been a busy two weeks or so since the cousins got here. Lot’s of explosions, overalls, firewood, beer, Grandma, cooking feasts, storytelling, plan making, life strategizing, memory trading. Here’s what we’ve been doing, so two nights ago we had a few of the cousins’ local friends over and had a fire up at the Labyrinth and skewered hot dogs over the flames. We didn’t feel right leaving grandma in the house all by her lonesome while we went up to the spot so she decided she’d just come up with us.
“Hey Grandma why don’t you come up to the fire pit with us for a little bit?”
“Alright, I’d like to see that. You know what I’d really like to see sometime is the Labyrinth.”
“You’re in luck Grandma, that’s where we’re goin’, that’s where the fire pit is, right next to the Labyrinth.”
“Oh Boy!”
Having Grandma up by the Labyrinth really tied the whole scene together. Before Pop passed she wouldn’t leave the house because she wanted to always be there by his side, but now that she’s freed up a little bit her curiosity is getting the best of her. The other thing I noticed is the chair by the picture window, Pop’s chair, is now Grandma’s throne. She love’s that thing, sits there all the time now and looks out the window.
“So this is where you come every night, I seeee. Sure is a unique place to sit and rest your bones after bein’ in the sun all day. Yes yes, I see. This really is something special.”
Tyler dropped his hot dog in the ashes and we told him he just needed to give it a beer bath and it would be fine. We relayed this to Grandma to which she replied, “Shoooot yes, that’s a good idea!”
The next night we took her out to Brooks’ restaurant and showed her another great time. Five young men and Grandma have quite a presence in Classic Joe’s. There was even a band playing out on the patio under the oak tree so after we finished eating we all went and sat out under the tree and listened to music. Josh was after the hostess but the only contact he made seemed to be an exchange of smiles.
We also cleared out the patch of trees in the field straight in front of the house and collected some big rocks and made a new fire pit, which is actually six pits in one. We burnt off all the brush and grass we cleared out of the cove today, and I think we’re going to wait on havin’ a gathering there till it gets a little damper.
We also discovered that all the locals hang out in the parking lot of what was formerly known as the Winn Dixie. We also realized we don’t need to stress about meeting locals either, we might be cooler than the locals and that’s just fine. The Suttles never really did fit in just right in this valley, and we kind of like it that way. We made it our own.

It’s also been a month as of Wednesday.

Night before last we cooked ribs.

Trey and Mike and the Duo played in Atlanta n Saturday so I went over to see it with some friends and some old friends. The show was pretty good, the scene was bigger than I expected. Phish fans die hard it seems. They didn’t play any Phish songs except for an acoustic Mexican Cousin which was pretty sweet. Drifting, Sweet Dreams Melinda were favorites too. They covered the Who’s Who are you? Who Who Who Who? (oooh I really wanna know) and that song that goes “Get back, get back, get back to where you once belonged…” Song choice seemed fitting, it was a good time all in all, nothing the fanatics would go insane about, but I think that’s what they’re goin’ for these days. New fresh music, nothing insane, manageable good times, rock stars with families.
I went down Friday night and hung out with the Cook’s and got to met a few of their family friends with Bowen and James and then spent the night at the Wesley’s in Norcross. They’ve got a beautiful set up by the Chattahoochee river and all in all it was a great time. I seem to be drawing myself as close as possible back to the people my Dad knew and the Wesley’s were friends with my parents since before I was born. I think Tom and Dad kept each other in competition for an edge on the god life for a long while and it was god to see traces of my father there. Nothing too specific, nothing I could point to exactly, but the vibe was there. For example, their perfectly ordered and appropriately labeled garage reminded me of Dad a lot. It’s so nice to be around really good people. Good to the core.
I’m not going in order so back to when Sunday I drove up to the Wesley’s lake house on Lake Burton in northern Georgia and met up with Lance and Troy and Josh and Tyler and the rest of the Wesley clan, Emmie, Tom, and Kathy. They were fantastic hosts and we had a great time all around. Can’t thank them enough for that, they did everything they could to make sure we had a great time, and we did.
Coming back we stopped at a Georgia fruit stand and I picked up some Pear, Peach, and Black raspberry preserves for Grandma because I know she love’s them and then headed back to the farm where we proceeded to run on high octane and be wild Indians in the fields all night. Someone somewhere ordered a box of about 100 glow sticks and we all painted our face and opened our toy-testing clinic for the night. Last night was really special and the cousins all swapped stories about Pop and talked about how important the farm is and why it’s worth sacrificing for because it’s the realest thing in the world to us. We played with the acoustics in the valley, philosophized in the fields and thanked God for where we are.
Lance and Troy used to live on the farm when they were younger and so they had a bunch of Pop stories I hadn’t heard before. My favorite of the night had to be that they remembered when Pop would spend all day on the tractor out in the field in the fall, then he’d come in and build himself a fire in the fireplace and then lay down right next to it on the floor, warm himself and take a well deserved nap. Perhaps this explains my affection for warmness.
This is a pretty surface level rundown but it’s been a while since I updated so I figured I should start with the surface and work in the deeper revelations of the week in the days to come. The cousins leave tomorrow so we’re doing a final meal at the farm and then it’s back out into the real world for them, and back down into my soul for me. A lot has happened, we’ve had a few “day of days” and I’m deciding how much I should post and how much I should funnel to the publisher. You never know where it’s going to start or what’s going to start it. Seed crystals come in all shapes and sizes, in all sorts of moments, from behind all sorts of eyes. A smile from the girl you didn’t know you loved, a handshake from a stranger at the cafe, a punch across the face from the person who deserved it, you never know, it just happens and if you notice it's happening as it happens it sort of like, you know, spirals into an attitude boost and a self shaper latte.
For example on the way home from Atlanta I stopped at a Waffle House surprise surprise and had the most memorable Waffle House experience of my life to date actually, which included an hour long conversation with a late sixties year old stranger named Francis Beedle who told me to really see, to really understand what’s going on in the world, you have to detach yourself, and I mean really detach yourself. “You gotta go sit on the moon and look back and then and only then can you really see what’s happening.” Like I said, there’s a lot more to that story but it’s dinner time and I’ve got to run…

there's lot's going on, too much to have time to update, but it's on the way...

headache free

In grandma talk for the day Mollie asked her if she had any Tylenol because she had a headache (look at the expression on her face when she’s talking to Grandma) and grandma said she may have some but she wasn’t sure. Mollie went off to look and while she was gone grandma told me, “ You know, I’ve never taken a Tylenol because I just don’t get headaches, but I guess there’s some around.”
“Wait, Grandma, you’ve never in your whole life taken a Tylenol?”
“Tylenol? You know I really haven’t. My whole life I never remember getting a headache except for those three days before my heart attack. I remember telling Pop, ‘now I don’t want you to cry over me but my head hurts like the dickens!’”
The story behind this is that one time in 1984 I believe Grandma was in the car next to Pop when her heart stopped, “right about where the fruit stand on Hwy 26 is.” Pop was screaming at her to wake up is how I’ve heard the story and he redlined it till he got to the closest house with a phone to call 911. But what’s incredible, and I mean this is amazing on all sorts of levels but Grandma probably never thought twice about because that’s how humble she is, is that her heart restart itself. That’s right, it stopped for about 3 minutes they guess and then it restarted itself. What is the symbol of a heart that restarts itself? If you know Grandma, it kind of makes sense. It’s weird and it’s not a rational understanding, but you understand. The woman never in here life remembers having a headache except the few days before he heart stopped. The level of purity her is amazing, and Pop wasn’t allergic to anything, and I thank God for the stock I came from and feel like such a wuss for ever having taken a Tylenol.

full moon in the background

The cousins got in town at about 4:30 am Sunday morning so when I came over to pick up grandma for Sunday School they were already here. Sunday school was great but it’s strange to study the Bible from a faith based perspective after I’ve been crunching it academically looking for underlying patterns and hidden deceptions and double meanings for so long. You know, you can get a lot more practical advice from the book if you just take it for what it’s worth, so I tried that this week and it really worked. I choose to be joyous, as do you, so don’t forget and get down.
We came back, I cooked the boys a hearty breakfast of sweet corn and eggs, hash browns and bacon, and then we got to it farm style. Tyler brought an unbelievable number of fireworks. I am not at all exaggerating when I say three large trash bags full. Those started to get lit off nonstop for the next 10 hours I would say. We hit up Piggly Wiggly for Bar-B-Q fixin’s, had a monster roast, and then we went down to the dock and some of us got on the boat. Lance, Tyler and me went out on the boat and started lighting off fireworks from there, which wasn’t the safest and brightest idea, but it was quite a rush nonetheless. I had the djembe and beat along with the explosions, a firework soundtrack if you will, and we all had a great time.
Brooks and Mollie were on the dock when they looked down into the drain and noticed a turtle was stuck at the bottom of it about 15 feet down. At that point, given their affection for aqua-terrapins and the mystical fog they’ve been bringing with them lately, the mission became rescue 911 meets arts and crafts as we had to devise a way to get the turtle up and out.
Brooks went up to the garage and rigged up a sort of grill-scoop on the end of a long pole and they tried with that for a long time but there was this blasted root/branch that kept getting in the way and we couldn’t get to the turtle. I suggested we just get a bucket and fill up the drain with aqua and float him to the top, but that didn’t work because, well, it’s a drain. The water drained. Then brooks decided the angle of the scoop is off so he went back up to jerry-rig a new pole contraption, but the darn branch was still there. Brooks was 100% committed to rescuing that turtle at that point, and he new he had the perfect tool to cut the branch at Nell’s house, so he got in the car and drove over there to get it. While he was gone though, Josh used his scoop and told the turtle to climb in the basket, which it did, and was able to successful extract the patient from the drain. Molly cheered up, we put him in the bucket, and now he’s in the fountain up by the house that Pop made.
We were worried he wouldn’t have anything to eat, but incredibly it seems the two frogs that had moved into the pond while Pop was laying by the picture window must have spawned because there are a bunch of tadpoles in there now. Wow! Life!
So then Brooks suggested we get a few tadpoles and put them in the old red-eared slider turtles cases that we weren’t using anymore since brooks got the 55-gallon tank- and hatch a few more frogs while we’re at it, yeah? And so now it’s today and I suppose it’s just a matter of time before it happens.