sunset

full moon sunrise on the farm

Silent in the morning
Suspended in the trees
Lunch time comes youve found your voice
It brings me to my knees
The volume just increases
The resounding echoes grow
Till once again I bask in morning stillness, I love so

The target that I shoot for seems to move with every breath
I tighten all my arteries and make one last request
Divine creation hears me, and he squashes me with fear
I think that this exact thing happened to me, just last year

-phish

talking heads

Big and I'm bad
And I want you to know
I hang around
Where the grass is greener
Totally naked, baby
Totally nude
'Cause if I want to
Who's gonna stop me?
I'm absolutely free
Living in the trees
The birdies and the bees
'Cause I'm a nature boy
Locked up inside
You can't tell me where it's at
Open up, open up, open the door
Rocks and trees and physical culture
Some days you hide
I guess you wonder where you are
Nature boy, nature man, take me along
We got a life that's undiscovered
We threw it all away
Throw it all away
Rolling in every way
It's irresponsible
So civilized
I guess you wonder where you are
Nature boy, nature man, take me along
Deep in the woods we're undiscovered
I'm a little fish and you're the river
Living in a boat that's underwater
We can tip, tip, tip it over
You can push, push, make it better now
Wake your daddy up
It's a quarter to five
Our little boat
Has lost its rudder
Dive to the bottom
And we never come up
A polka party
For Bob and Martha
I'm absolutely free
Living in the trees
The birdies and the bees
'Cause I'm a nature boy
Think what you like
This is really where it's at
Open up, open up, open the door
We don't need clothes and we don't need money
So civilized
I guess you wonder where you are
Nature boy, nature man, take me along
Deep in the woods we're undiscovered

take out the glowstick time

Teo

Made it back to the farm today, the turkeys were in the field when I arrived early in the morning. The farmer was in the other fields cutting hay early in the morning too. Perhaps the turkeys know their time in the fields is coming to a pause because they won’t have the thick height of it to hide themselves. Bare back fields for a little while and I’ve come to notice the turkeys tend to disappear for a while when they can’t hide out in the open. Smart little buggers. .
This is the first cutting since Pop passed, it looks like a good one. Real thick and tall. Heady heady hay. Headiest hay in the valley, in the county, in the state even I bet! Haha! Kiddie ego swooped through it looks like, did you see him? I guess I let my “self” slip away there for a bit, on purpose, of course, on purpose. Its ok to get excited about your highest ideals in concrete experiential abstractions for yourself, you know? These things keep the day to day bearable, the ramble fresh.

Teo

beauty

It’s lightening but its not raining outside. It smells like cut grass and it’s a full moon tomorrow, its cloudy in between, and lightening. Silent lightening. Don’t forget about the silent lightening. All fields from the creek to the road are cut and bailed, and the big field from the orbs all the way to the house hasn’t been touched yet. They cut the field in front of the house, across the driveway but house side of the creek, today- and so its in those long rows that go all the way across the field and then turn around and go all the way back. All the while staying in your one little “row.” it’s a good thing to do and think of the Labyrinth while you do it. The other option is to walk all the way, and I mean all the way around the edge of the field, and then on the second loop take one step towards the center and walk all the way, all the way around again, one step down again, rinse, lather and repeat. Or you can go pick up rocks. That’s a really good one too. Faith can move a mountain, someone told me that.

faith full

so we went and saw old faithful explode, had great timing, and then almost just as it finished erupting it began to hail. it was like old faithful and the clouds were playing toss. it was great.

----

You can climb the highest mountain
Touch the moon and stars above
But Old Faithful's just a fountain
Compared to the glory of true love

time capsule balloons that propel themselves as they exhale their temporary existence

So I have some suttle psyche gold for all you guys out there. You know who I’m talking about. Since I’m on Pop’s computer and typing documents I stumbled across a few Pop had written in his Documents folder. I’ll add two of them below in their entirety.

note the green balloon and its mechanisms. pop taught physics, lilian and abel appreciated a single balloon and had more fun with it in more different ways than i thought were possible. a single balloon. enlightenemnent level joy froma single balloon. we need to grow younger folks, we'rre headed the wrong way. the only problem was that this (as seen)balloon toy squeled when it flew. brooks jimmy rigged the whistle loose though. the sun still set.

now to pop...

---1---

OBSERVATIONS, CONCLUSIONS AND OPINIONS OF AN OCTOGENERAION:
2/17/04
The middle class working people of our country are the backbone of our society and they get “shafted” from all sides. We no longer have a working democracy in the USA. The so called democracy has degenerated into GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLE, BY THE SPECIAL INTEREST, FOR THE SPECIAL INTEREST.
Under the Bush and Republican congress everything that is done in Washington is done for the benefit of the big donators to the political campaigns of the politicians
(note: Bush has a 200 million dollar bribe to repay).This is not corruption on Bush’s part but is the result of our political system.
Bush 1 is a Statesman and a great American. Bush 2 is simply a politician who would like to be re-elected for a second term.

John F. Suttle
Mountain Meadows Farm
PO box 855
Columbiana, AL 35051



---2---

Sample document for learning recall procedure mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

buck up buffalo

what does a bison think about watching a bison burger cook?

let's get some pictures posted and we'll get to the wit later. i got back to the farm today and realized that even though my computer is at apple headquarters i can run the internet through pop's computer. SNAP! so though its slow and all, it works and the farm is now officially linked with the web. they started cutting the hay yesterday i guess so they've been out there get down on the tractors and its a treat to watch. the turkies came out this morning in the field opposite the one they were cutting- i guess they figure their days of being protected by the tall tall hay are over. the pecking order is disrupted.

----

these photos are winn going out to meet lilian and abel coming down from the mountian. they speak volumes if you ask me

pass it on

Because it may be a while I am going to leave you with the absolute truth to chew on for a while. What is coming next is the core of self evident truth, my notes from a David Hawkins lecture I went to. If you study these things and bounce them around your most sensitive truth sensors, then relate these things to your everyday living experience, I assure you it will bring you at least a pinch of peace of mind, most likely a whole heap. How much depends on how much you give it. Give it a lot; it will give you more back.

David Hawkins notes I believe…

There is an absolute to which everything is compared, this is Divinity, and you can picture it as a field of infinite power. The field is non-linear because causality doesn’t exist, it is merely an illusion.

What causes us to perceive phenomena is our location in the field.

This indicates that even though we may not be in our body we are located centrally somewhere on some plane of existence to which everything else is compared.

The spiritual will, the Intent is what creates potentiality in the Field, and then the power of the field turns the potentiality into actuality.

Be that which is lovingness.
All that’s needed is to be as loving as possible. You don’t have to hate vanilla in order to love chocolate. You don’t have to hate sin, just love virtue.

Out of oblivion you suddenly come into existence. It’s annoying to exist, then instantly the fear of non-existence.

That which I Am existed prior to all universes.

All that stands in the way of the Presence of the Infinite is the illusion of the little self.

Had some difficulty containing a sense of self in this world.

Sitting in class the sense of personal I disappeared into Hisness.

Obsessed with the Truth and scared of Sin.

It isn’t so much that you make things happen, it’s that you make things not happen. You’re not dancing, you’re not not dancing.


How did the ego arise? What is it?
The reason you can’t get rid of it is because you repressed it so you don’t own it anymore. Life began when the universal field interacted with matter. Consciousness becomes life when it meets matter.
Life is spawned in an unfriendly environment so it’s programmed for survival.
When life emerges at its primal form it has the capacity for getting energy, so it goes out and has to get energy.

If we were all colored green we wouldn’t need anything, we would be sinless. Wouldn’t need anything from out there.

The first thing that experiences that it is is bacteria.

Below 200 you see the basic innocence of consciousness because they don’t have control.

All men choose only the good
Therefore there is no evil
They only think what’s good in the moment
Which isn’t really good.
“forgive them father for they know not what they do.”


The Principal of Intention

To set up ego with sin and vilification is the downside of the Gothic Christian Era

The Ego does what it has to do because it thinks it needs to do that to survive. So how we solve it is with ACCEPTANCE instead of labeling it and then repressing it because of guilt. 85% of people in the world are incapable of telling the truth.

We have equality by virtue of the divinity of the source of all, our Creator.

Evolution is not sequential; sequential is how we witness.

Nothing has any cause, there is no cause.

There is no event to explain because there is only a continuum.

Every thought arises out of Nothing, therefore it’s not caused by anything.

A > B > C > D
^ ^ ^ ^

you don’t look between thoughts for glimpses of eternity. The focus should be on the substratum, on the nothingness out of which all things come.

Our mind’s are 99% quiet and we’re hypnotized by the 1%

Out of silent nothingness arises and you grasp at it

When you look at it just prior to thought you catch it there.

Caught it because I wan’ looking for it.
The Connection

Transcend notions of perpetrator and victim

Comparing calibrated levels of consciousness is in comparison to the Absolute Divinity.

Content Field Context

Humility comes with the capacity to fence of denial, the courage and integrity to state things as they are.

The wise transcend the ize and the seduction of thoughts and images to hypnotize.

Lower mind vs. higher mind

Mentalize, not think
Rhetoric is mentation, not thinking

• Aristotle said there is the integrity of the speaker, the integrity of the message, the integrity of the Audience

The world is not rational

Unconsciously everyone knows when they’re being lied to

Truth has power
Rhetoric looks pretty

To think dualistically you have to split the one into the dual; this and the other.

Darkness is not the Absence of light, it is the Absence.

Truth
The Absence of Truth

Cold isn’t the opposite of hot, it’s the Absence

Eventually we have to let go of the this and that, me and you.


The Progressive Fields of Revelation

Form
Register
Recognition
Watcher/experiencer
Awareness
Observer/witness
Light of Consciousness
Manifest as Allness/Self
Unmanifest (Godhead)

To be with the field
Has an immediate reward

You cannot stay within the same paradigm.

You’re either anticipating the future or in fear of the past, as long as you live on the crest of now you don’t have any problems.

It’s not possible to have a problem unless you’re manufacturing it yourself.

Living in the reality of the instant
So you live as the field and not the content of the field

If you don’t resist the wave
You can stay on the edge of the knife.

Better than meditation is contemplation because you identify with the Field.

As the ego collapses it’s like tissue in a fire.

Below 200 people don’t have individual karmas, “group think”

Above 200
Kundalini energy comes
Instead of seeing content you see wholes

Above 200 the person has personal karma

The Spiritual Will is what sets our enlightenment
The Etheric Brain
This energy effects our experience of the world

Spiritual commitment instantly shift
This commitment is a surrender
Admit mistakes, make them right
This instantly changes the whole world
Information comes in differently
You become a different type of being

Kundalini energy
The miraculous begins to happen all around you, but of her own accord.

We swoop together.
We are all destined for enlightenment

Does feeling like God make you God?

Raise the level of the sea

Accept that the power is within myself.
Love in honest

You go through a high pass and you can see who’s been there. The temptation of silent knowingness.

All power is yours, own it, you can exploit anyone

Who would want all this power over people? Because of our karma we simultaneously serve each other, we are karmically drawn to people who can help us.

The distribution of Aids is the consequence of an energy field. The field pulls things to it.

-to commit yourself to a premise changes everything. You pick up what goes with that field. Count your blessings. Leave the world a little bit better than you found it.

The ego feeds of negativity because it has no energy of its own.

Passivity invites aggression

Own the power then feel free to love

There needs to be a cultural commitment to integrity.

Calmness, recontextualizing
Recontextualize, recontextualize

Healthy self attention

If you make a covenant with me to tell the truth, to not judge, to help each other be happy, I’ll make that commitment. But if we’re just going to get by and fuel the motions, I need to step away and pull my self together.
We can rebirth this thing.

How can I grow?
Switch to making statements instead of only asking questions.

Truth is tough to take.

I can no longer cater to your positionality.

Incredible how fast the mind changes when a new conviction comes into place.

Own the power
I own the power to be happy

It’s arrogant to speak to people outside of their level

The application of consciousness research is that in the moment of truth is instant peace.

Truth trumps goodness.

Power comes from that which you are,
Not what you say and do.
Be what I am.

The mind isn’t thinking anything.

The way to God is through devotion, surrender to God.

You make your life a meditation by sanctifying it to God.

The experience in yin not yang.

Be the field, make my life a prayer
Stop resisting
You become the prayer
You become the mudra
“to thee, oh lord, do I lay down my life out of devotion.”

You surrender your desire to control
You stop worrying about pleasing everybody
Stop being a slave to pleasing everyone

You’ve got choice but that’s different than control

Stop controlling
It’s a lifestyle, a way of being
The contemplative lifestyle is, in a way, grace
It’s a graciousness
Live as though God were a guest in your life
How would you live your life if God’s grace was always intuitive grace

Everything lays down its life for the life above it

Always ask “in the name of the highest good…”

I was hurt so I sunk down into my defensive self
I recommit myself to the health of all life
The beauty of all things.

I ain’t crooked- though I follow the path of least resistance.

“It was much pleasanter at home,” thought poor Alice, “when one wasn’t always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered about by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn’t gone down the rabbit hole – and yet- and yet- it’s rather curious, you know, this sort of life! I do wonder what can have happened to me! When I used to read fairy tales, I fancied that kind of thing never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I grow up, I’ll write one- but I’m grown up now,” she added in a sorrowful tone: at least there’s no room to grow up any more here.”
“But then,” thought Alice, “shall I never get any older than I am now?” That’ll be a comfort, one way – never to be an old woman – but then- always to have lessons to learn! Oh I shouldn’t like that!”
“Oh you foolish Alice!” she answered herself. “How can you learn lessons here? Why, there’s hardly room for you, and no room at all for lesson books!”
And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other, and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.

-from Alice in Wonderland


To my loyal blogship I apologize for the pause in updates but I’m in Big Sky, Montana with the family and up here it’s still fresh and clean and free of too many electronic communications. It’s hard to get to the internet. I’ll be back next week sometime with all sorts of fun tales and photos to update but until then I’m doing my best to puddle in the good stuff. More sporadic than usual will the updates be- but the content keeps swiffling. I’m reading Alice in Wonderland the original and I can’t begin to tell you how much sense it makes once you drop all the Disney façade. It’s a simple story about the self. About an I and all sorts of yous you seize?

It’s Mom and Winn, Lillian and Abel, Brooks and Mollie and me up here this year. As ever there’s always a different group with a different dynamic and this year is no exception.
I drove into Atlanta on Thursday to see friends, old and new, and Friday went to the Wesley’s for some good times with the old old friends especially. Uncle Tom cooked steaks and filled me in on some of his and Dad’s relationship and I soaked it in and did my best not to blurt out how much I just wanted to sit and listen to all the bullshit they used to give each other.
“I had a very special relationship with your father. We had a very powerful non-verbal understanding of the inherent beauty and glory of the world, and we could share that together without having to speak about it. I remember that time at Monumental Valley when we watched the sun sinking behind the peaks and shared the awesomeness of the landscape and its beauty and it was very special. We both knew how blessed we were and we appreciated it and we were able to share that appreciation through an unspoken connection with one another and it is something I am truly thankful for having in my own life.”
I realize that I function on one of too broad levels at any given moment of metaphysical time. I don’t know how to describe the difference in substance of these dimensions, perhaps tiers- one is reason and one is made of tears. One is the surface of off the cuff wit and day to day survival ration and coping skills, and the other is the ever present overwhelming ocean of emotion and non-linear understanding of myself in relation to God and the bigger picture and the little snapshots I see around me. It is the non-verbal perception of the underlying form of events in my own life, my karmic knots and my blessings that come together and stretch apart and float me back up to that top layer, the day to day interaction and the staying open for the reception of knew connections and understandings. The hard part when it comes to functioning though is that more than often during different stages of my life the branch and leaf level correlations and connections that come in a fluid moment, or in the presence of special people with special energies, or in the Presence of divine coincidences, seem to catch fire sometimes and at lightening speed illuminate some small portion of my time in terms of a moment in relation to the larger chunk of time in my life and even further in relation to the grander, much much grander boundless separation, or absence of separation, between my self and the Self, between you and I and between my perception of reality in relation to my knowledge of REALITY, of the ever present and active participation of the higher powers in Nature that form and birth and kill and rebirth for transcendence the potential of all that is and all the can be.
Are you in a bubble yet?
After dinner Tom pulled out the home video from our dual family RV trip across Texas and Arizona and New Mexico back in 86 I believe when I was 3 and emmie was less than one and brooks and jud were corresponding ages given their age today. I can’t begin to tell you what it feels like to see dad on a home video standing on top of our RV making a home video of his own, our own I guess. It even had my first s’more. Now imagine seeing a video of yourself eating your first s’more when you were three. What does that experience calibrate? Oh it’s all so relative I know, but for me, I’m sure you can understand, it was strange. I took a bite and did one or two turns in place, ahh how sweet. When we get back Brooks and I are planning to finish up the video because we didn’t get a chance to finish it because Jud and Emmie had a bunch of both their friends over and we partied by the fire down by the river. Glowsticks on strings were a big hit and if I could I’d post some of the pictures we took, but as it is I can’t and I’ll just have to layer your anticipation of the up and coming photos to be posted.
Gosh, reading Alice in Wonderland really bleeds into your sense of self and silly sloppy sentences, language and verbal verbs altogether really. It’s hard to separate, but its so fun to know you don’t have to because you are around the people who know you and understand you and want to share a part of their own vibe with you and all you want to do is share your vibe, I that is, with them, the you that is.


Also, Weeping Willows are amazing and I hope we get one at the farm soon.

The more you run away from it the faster it catches up with you. The day you learn to stare it in the face is the day it loses its power.

what would elvis read?

well this was his desk, who knew he was such a spiritualist? well he was the king, that makes sense. the other book on his desk was "Gods from Outter Space"

old king...

fulton, home of the indians- i knew it!

Graceland
Paul Simon

The Mississippi Delta was shining
Like a National guitar
I am following the river
Down the highway
Through the cradle of the civil war
I'm going to Graceland
Graceland
In Memphis Tennessee
I'm going to Graceland
Poorboys and Pilgrims with families
And we are going to Graceland
My traveling companion is nine years old
He is the child of my first marriage
But I've reason to believe
We both will be received
In Graceland

She comes back to tell me she's gone
As if I didn't know that
As if I didn't know my own bed
As if I'd never noticed
The way she brushed her hair from her forehead
And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow

I'm going to Graceland
Memphis Tennessee
I'm going to Graceland
Poorboys and Pilgrims with families
And we are going to Graceland

And my traveling companions
Are ghosts and empty sockets
I'm looking at ghosts and empties
But I've reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland

There is a girl in New York City
Who calls herself the human trampoline
And sometimes when I'm falling, flying
Or tumbling in turmoil I say
Woah, so this is what she means
She means we're bouncing into Graceland
And I see losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you're blown apart
Everybody feels the wind blow

In Graceland, in Graceland
I'm going to Graceland
For reasons I cannot explain
There's some part of me wants to see
Graceland
And I may be obliged to defend
Every love, every ending
Or maybe there's no obligations now
Maybe I've a reason to believe
We all will be received
In Graceland

animal photos

so i made it back from memphis today, and as i was passing the lake i looked over to notice a group of 10 and another group of 6 large ducks in the lake at the farm. it's the first time i've ever seen ducks really, and that many, amazing. the amazing thing really is that when i was in memphis and went to the peapody hotel and saw the ducks, i got grandma a large huggable duckie because she's been jealous of the one a friend gave to me. there are some photos of ducky all the way back in the utah pics if you want to check the archives, but ill just have to take a pic of me and grandma and our ducks and i'll get that up just as soon as i can. i turned in my computer to apple today though so i'm a dependent now as far as blogging goes. i'll do my best, and let's all welcome the gaggle to the family

"Sure do like ol' Frank."

Grandma talk for Sunday:
I went with Grandma to Sunday school again and it was great as usual. On our way out the door in the morning there were eight large turkeys meandering around the field right behind the house. The hay is growing up tall enough now that I guess they feel protected again out in the fields and its good to see them hanging out so close to the house. I bet now that Lance and Troy and Josh and Tyler and the never-ending bag of fireworks are gone now too it’s a little quieter and they are daring to venture back into the fields. I have a picture I took of them that I would post right now but I’m in Memphis as we speak and don’t have the cord to connect up my camera. More on Memphis later…
Pastor Miller took me to a different Sunday school class than I went to last time- the young adults this time instead of the college aged kids- and I think I’m going to go back to the college kids. The class I went to was all young adults who are married and either have kids, are expecting kids, or are trying to have kids. I realized what I think I already knew which is that once you have a kid your entire life revolves around them. Everything you relate to is in the language of children, the stories of children, the hazards of children, the lack of sleep, yada yada, and it all seems great but I am trying to embrace my youth and it startled me. There is an older couple that teaches the class, the Smith’s, and they are very good and solid folk. When I got there everyone was already talking baby and the buzz was that one of the couples, who weren’t there yet, had their prayers answered and word was they were pregnant. I was a silent observer with a big smile on my face through most of this, and then the couple everyone was talking about arrived and walked in a few minutes late. How I knew it was them was because the first thing the Mr. said as he came through the door with his wife was, “We’ve got a bun in the oven! This Sunday School prayer request is incredible!”
It was a good experience, and I see why everyone always said Dad did nothing but talk about his kids, to the point where it inspired the people who worked for him and around him to be better father’s and mothers, but I’m not quite there yet. He told me to be young first, and I’ve read William Blake’s Songs of Innocence and Experience, and I know the day will come. No need to rush. I’ve got plenty of time.
Then we broke into smaller groups and read the passage for the week, something from Exodus about loyalty to God when the Israelites were in the desert eating manna for forty years, and I saw that everyone in the way they relate to the passage is in terms of lessons they’ve learned from trying to be parents. The world and the words of the world really do work differently when you’re a parent. It’s kind of nice to come to see how the Bible can still work on a real simple level for people, and still really work. I realized I think I’m coming back around to liking country music again too, because it’s simple and it’s fun. The only reason I stopped listening to country music in the first place all those years back was because I got into more complicated musical arrangements and improvised moments that took a lot of focus and attention and patient listening to feel the power of the whole node of music, and its complicated, see? Well this year I’m taking it back to the simple things, and country music is sweet and simple. Funny how all these things come together in the strangest of places.
After church I took Grandma to the Golden Rule BBQ and she had her first fried pickle. 89 and still trying new things, what a Grandma. She had this real pretty green outfit on- green dress, green purse, green earrings and even green shoes. When I told her she looked real nice she told me, “Well I haven’t dressed to go out in so long. Since Frank had his stroke I guess, and I just didn’t know what to wear. I wasn’t sure if they were still wearing heels like this so I got out one of those catalogs and sure enough, they had a pair of green heels in there just like these so I figured I best just go ahead and put ‘em on.” So precious. She actually checked the catalog she’s been getting in the mail for fifty years to see if her fashion was still up to date. That reminds me I also met the Avon lady the other day, the same Avon lady that’s been coming’ by to see Grandma for 55 years she said. So classic. Before we left the Golden Rule an older couple from Grandma and Pop’s Sunday school class came up stopped by the table to tell her how glad they were to see her back at church.
“Sure do like ol' Frank, he was a might fine man. I remember when we moved out to our house he just stopped by one day with that machine of his and grated our driveway or somethin’. I can’t remember what he did exactly, I just remember thinkin’, ‘How did he even know we needed that done?’ He had some sixth sense or somethin’. Sure do like old Frank. He’s a real good man, ol’ Frank, I tell you what.”
Grandma introduced them to me and he started talking again about Pop and said, “I’ll go ahead and say it again, if you need anything- give us a call.”
To which Grandma said, “Well I would but Cole here’s been an angel. I told him last night I just wanted an egg and a piece of toast if he was going to cook breakfast this morning, and sure enough when I woke up there was a note sayin’ Egg and toast in the microwave, I’m in the shower.’” There is an incredible type of joy that comes from being sported by your Grandmother, I hope everyone gets a chance to feel that. “We really get to hear about the world from this one!” she said.
“Well I was gonna say I was worried about ya Mary but I see you’re in good hands. Sure is good to see you round church again, take care.” As they left Grandma remembered, “They were in the carpet business. You coulda had quite a conversation with ‘em if I’d remembered in time, shooo!” (See Brooks’ blog Subtle Being for the connection to carpet here.)
Sunday afternoon I drove up to Memphis to see Lauren and support her in her art endeavors. She has an art show going up here that runs through July and I wanted to come and be supportive. It’s hard in this world of practical tracts to find other people willing to go out on a limb and be “artists” so to speak. We gotta stick together, someone has to keep dreaming for the rest of us. Dear heavenly father, thank you for the blessings we receive and the space to reflect the universe gives us when we are ready and willing to really dig in deep and squeeze out the meaning of things.
Lauren’s house is amazing. She’s got about 18 acres, a pond, a big ol’ garden Brooks would be jealous of, and we saw three deer yesterday, and I got to see Yoshi again! Yoshi is quite a dog, spunky as ever. His hair is cut now and he looks like Tory, our old welsh terrier, only a little bigger and lighter hair. It’s amazing how much I appreciate being included in families these days. I always seem to have some profound insight into myself talking to friend’s parents over home cooked meals. I can’t thank all of you enough for that.
Lauren’s taking an American History class at the University of Memphis so I dropped her off and entertained myself for a bit, then we did a full day of Memphis. Ate lunch at Huey’s, went to Beale street, the Peabody hotel with all the ducks, and even went to Graceland, home of the King. We watched Jesus Christ Superstar the night before and it all seemed such a fitting lace. Hmm, the love of the people is hard sometimes.
Now I’m back in Starbucks while Lauren’s in class and this afternoon we’re going to go see here show, then back the farm tomorrow for more Grandma porch time before Montana on Saturday. I’m afraid I’m going to have to turn in my computer to the Apple store today to have the port plug-in for the internet fixed, so hopefully I’ll find a way to keep updating. Photos are on back log though, so the turkeys and the deer and the duckies will be up coming. Today we’ll pull some from the archives… (at the Willie Nelson concert in Big Sky a few years back, at Bozo Funhouse, Jud’s fish from the lake that now resides at the Wesley’s lakehouse)

around Then

As we get back into an active war sort of mind frame I am shocked to understand how I ever got out of an active war state of mind. I guess it’s all the TV coverage again. The flooding of the market of graphic imagery. Be wary, be wary afraid.
I found an article I wrote for the SMU Daily Campus on the one year anniversary of the war in Iraq and it seems even sillier now, but the message still rings true. Stay sensitive, CNN isn’t showing you the sensitive stuff. War is not fluffy.


Where are we now?
by Cole Suttle

Now that we’ve marked the one year anniversary of a War our President declared a “success” ten months ago, I think it is time to step back and work on our definitions.
I don’t want to think about whether or not going to War was the right decision. There are enough well paid opinion makers on television to do that. It’s not that Bush mislead the country in his State of the Union cheerleading speech, it’s just a glitch in the information system, right? Nobody knew Saddam wasn’t really dealing nuclear arms with Africa. Honest mistake, honest.
It’s not even worth thinking about the fact the immanent WMD threat has thus far turned out as hollow as the African Ore deal. Darn information network. It’s a big desert though, they could be buried anywhere they tell me. Besides, the WMD motivation for War is so yesterday’s news. Now it was just the “right thing to do.”
Somehow our pluralistic “One Nation Under God” listens to a President justify War with scripture. Why bother talking about a paradox like that? I would get too confused comparing America’s noble intention to liberate the Iraqi people with some sort of other religious war.
So what should we think about on the anniversary of the Empire’s first preemptive attack in the fight against Evil? In his one-year anniversary script reading speech, our smooth spoken Chief reminded us “There is no neutral zone between Good and Evil.” What a relief to know Bush has the age-old dilemma of Good and Evil down to an exact science. What a relief that even though our information technology still has some kinks in it, our judge of character is flawless.
After Bush’s speech, I found myself thinking about the Fall of all things. You know, Adam and Eve, the juicy fruit, our eternal debt to God? I’m not an authority on the Bible so I’ll ask anyone out there who knows. What does it mean to be born with Original Sin? Does it mean that even before the miracle of birth all children are never not guilty? That even the first breath is a guilty one? What is the difference between being Evil and being a sinner?
This doesn’t feel like a very comfortable line of questions. There must be a difference between evil and sin I haven’t had explained to me yet. I hope so. Because if my instinct to associate sin with evil is implied, then I’m even more confused what Bush means when he assures us there is no grey area in a person’s soul. According to the teachings of his own faith, every child comes into the world a sinner/evil. When, I would ask him out of my own ignorance, does the dramatic leap over the neutral zone from sinner to Good human come? After baptism? Right after Baptism? Maybe after rehab, eh Dubya?
But I guess if Bush is the example, I clearly don’t understand what Love your Enemies means either.
Then I tried to put myself in the human part of the War- I thought about how many coffins were used in military funerals this year. I thought about what the children’s nightmares have been like in Iraq, the US, everywhere. I thought of how many body bags the military ordered for Operation Iraqi Freedom. I thought about the growing rate of Coalition force suicides. I thought I might be scared. Then I reminded myself the more fearful I am, the less willing I am to think for myself.
Our President has not wavered to remind us again and again that Iraq is a better place because of America’s altruistic commitment to Democracy in the Middle East. I guess I should be happy Bush is so sure what “better” means, but for some reason I can’t quite rest easy taking him on his word. I’m sure it’s my own lack of vision, but I get confused watching the news every night and hearing about a bigger bomb explosion with more people dead.
I couldn’t handle being President, especially not this President, so I respect the position and the weight of the responsibility he has. Still, I worry what ignorance in high places can do, and I worry we’re becoming desensitized to the absolute horror in Iraq because we see it everyday. So that’s what I thought about: staying sensitive.
There is a Michael Franti song that goes “You can bomb the world to pieces, but you can’t bomb it into Peace.”
Think about it.
Then think about where you’ll be when the two year anniversary sneaks up on you. That isn’t so hard to imagine these days is it?
Now that’s scary.




A dream I had around then…

I had a dream once, and it’s a strange dream I’ll forewarn you, but I can’t seem to forget it. Since I’m only trying to be honest here, hopefully anyone reading this won’t judge me too much for my dreams seeing as I’ve only developed a rather minimal control over them so far. It went like this…In a big field somewhere under an African sky, Bush, Osama, Allah, Jesus and Buddha were all sitting around a campfire talking. The one other face I could make out was an Indian Chief in full ritual ornamentation passing around a peace pipe. I remember expecting the apocalypse to happen any moment with all these people in one place, but to my amazement it turned out to be quite the opposite. Then, like a flashbulb exploding over their heads in neon smoke the words appeared, “The World Peace Pipe Coalition.” Bush and Osama and Allah and Jesus must have all seen the same thing because they all began to laugh at the irony of the whole situation. Peace pipe? Talking out problems? But they didn’t laugh half as hard as Buddha did. Buddha laughed so hard he woke me up and I found myself in bed. With a sigh I swung my legs over the edge and stood up thinking, “It was just a dream I guess,” as I opened the mornings paper to see another Blast. It’s scary what’s managed to become routine this past year.

take a little sip from this big ol' jug

You never know how it’s going to start, but you’ve got to be expecting it. Knowledge is power, but character precedes knowledge, so work on it. Get you’re timing right. In a field of grass the waves don’t slosh over the edge of my boat as much during the stormy seasons, and I prefer it that way, water is wet. I prefer the dry seas of green to the deep unknown of your aquamarine. God is a Presence, a beloved, an old friend who knows you better than you know yourself in many ways. I often wish I had a lover like that. A lover who knew me more than I knew myself and forgave me for all my bumbling mistakes made in haste and uncertainty and fear, or because I’m bashful. I imagine the sea is a lover like that to some. I suppose I should go and meet the sea for my Self, but I’ve preferred the green waves for so long, surrendered it. Fight off your morning chill chill children, want to wrap myself in a shawl and cast away into the depths of the wonders of the sea. The deepest depths of the sea, sea green, of course, Of course. Now I see. Be analytical, keep your mind sharp at all times. Watch the way it folds back in on itself, watch the way it tricks your mind but not your soul with all those fancy words. Choose to be happy, choose the good life for your Self. Darling, I just can’t seem to get my brain started this morning. Take a little sip, just a little sip, from this big ol’ jug…

blessings

to the cooks!

"the secret cole, is you just find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and then you never have to work a day in your life." -Dad